


Grand Unification via Love Theory

by mittensmorgul (MittenWraith)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Archived From Mittensmorgul Blog, Archived From Tumblr, Meta Essay, Nonfiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-11
Updated: 2018-12-11
Packaged: 2019-09-15 21:47:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 52
Words: 56,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16941345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MittenWraith/pseuds/mittensmorgul
Summary: archive of all the posts from that time I predicted all of s11 based only on 10.23, because I will never, ever, ever get this uncannily lucky ever again.





	1. Chapter 1

# Supernatural, the Darkness, God, Death, Lucifer, Cain, and Dean

May 26, 2015

102 notes

**This started out as a single thought, I swear. It went off on a really long tangent, which I put under a cut. You’re welcome.

I was reading [this meta](http://dustydreamsanddirtyscars.tumblr.com/post/119513990296/and-the-story-became-the-story) by [dustydreamsanddirtyscars](http://tmblr.co/m4J6yls3rYvF2fUHLnY_jJQ) this morning, and it made me think. Most of the religious themes dealt with on Supernatural have been tied to the Bible and Heaven and Hell and prophets and God and Lucifer and the like. Even the Leviathan were presented through a Biblical lens rather than a pre-Biblical primordial horror viewpoint. They were squished into the existing mythos of God and heaven and the creation of the Earth.

The story we could get involving the Darkness, and the beginnings of the universe as we know it, the rise of a force of Light to counter the Darkness and sweep it back to make room for Creation itself to gain a foothold, it feels more like a metaphor for the big bang theory than any one religion. And I like this idea.

True, this does still fit with the description of Creation from the first lines of the bible, including a nod the Darkness’s role in events:

> In the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth, and the earth was without form, and void; and darkness  _was_  upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters. And God said, Let there be light: and there was light. And God saw the light, that  _it was_  good: and God divided the light from the darkness.
> 
> -Genesis, 1-4 (italics and all are exactly as printed in my King James version)

So perhaps the writers just decided to go back to the beginning and opened a bible up to page 1 to write their own origin story? But the way Death presented the history was broad enough to apply to a much broader number of creation myths from around the world. I hope that’s the case, anyway.

Not only that, but with the show’s recent explorations of the very nature of duality and the conflicts that arise when things are out of balance, I am really hopeful that this will be explored in greater detail. Darkness and Light have been struggling against each other since the beginning of time, eventually personified as God versus the Devil, Heaven versus Hell, on a grand scale, but this essential conflict of existence was also reflected in Charlie’s very personal struggle with the “good” and “dark” parts of herself.

I still find it interesting that she was never referred to as Evil Charlie, but Dark Charlie, while the “light” part of her was referred to as “Good Charlie.”

Dean’s season and a half long battle with the Mark can now be recognized for what it was: the internalized struggle of the light and dark parts of not only his own soul, but of the entirety of the cosmic dance between darkness and light. No wonder the poor boy wanted to throw in the towel. That must’ve been truly exhausting, to hold back the Darkness on his own.

I’ve seen it written that it somehow belittles Lucifer’s choices to rebel and fall if the only reason for it was that God forced him to bear the original Mark, but I don’t believe that for a moment. As one of the Archangels God originally created to battle the Darkness into submission, I believe Lucifer (as the Lightbringer, the most radiant, the strongest and most able to bear the burden of carrying the lock) would’ve willingly accepted it. If anyone was capable of standing close enough to the Darkness to keep it at bay without becoming tainted by it, logic would say that it was the opposite of Darkness; i.e. Light. What neither God nor Lucifer seemed to realize was the system was not in perfect balance.

Little by little, the Darkness began to influence Lucifer (and I would like to believe the reverse is true, as well, but we’ll have to wait for the show to lay that out once they begin to explore the Darkness). As God’s creation continued to grow, I suspect he realized what was happening to his Favorite Angel, which was why Gadreel (also the most trusted, the most “pure” of the angels) was assigned to guard Eden (and thus, humanity) from being touched by the Darkness. Gadreel was God’s second line of defense between Mankind and the Darkness, but even he was deceived, allowing Darkness to invade the Garden, and eventually Cain.

Suddenly the Mark was a burden Lucifer could share with someone else, possibly even eventually moving the entire burden onto Cain and removing it from himself (as Death offered to do for Dean, but I have more to say on Death’s role in just a moment). Thus the Mark became a curse, which Cain believed had spread throughout his bloodline, which may be part of the reason he had been able to bear it as long as he did. Of course Colette was the one who was able to make him  _stop_ , but we’ve also been told that this story isn’t just about Love. It’s about love… and love. Two kinds of love: the familial and the romantic.

Cain, as the first of his bloodline to bear the Mark, and Dean, as the  _last of that same bloodline_  to bear the Mark– they were bookends to the life of the curse. When Cain began murdering all of the books in between, all of his other descendants, the rest of the power (the familial love, whether it was expressed or not, whether those family members had been good or evil or anything in between) he’d amassed for holding back the darkness began to fall away. The only thing left when Dean confronted Cain in that barn was for one of the bookends to fall away, leaving the other entirely ineffective at supporting the remaining books on the shelf. Dean won that fight, but he also lost. The entire burden of the Mark suddenly fell to him, and he slowly lost his ability to contain it.

Now regarding Death: I don’t see Death as some third outside source of power. He is not God’s opposite number. He’s the neutral pivot point between God (or Light, in this metaphor) and The Darkness. He’s the balance, the scales, that keeps order. He’s the neutralizing force between creation and destruction, between order and chaos. As such, I don’t believe he can truly “die” himself, at least not until the rest of the universe collapses in on itself. Dean may have destroyed that particular physical manifestation of Death (whether intentionally or not is irrelevant to this discussion, but that’s another lively bit of debate I’ve been enjoying over the last week or so), but in the Grand Scheme of the Universe, where the battle is taking place in ways our limited human minds can hardly conceive of, Death is still at the center, holding back the line between Light and Darkness. He just doesn’t look like the physical manifestation of Death he chose to appear before Dean as.

During the apocalypse when Lucifer lassoed Death for his own purposes, Death was already portrayed as different and more powerful than the other three horsemen. There was something fundamentally different about how he was summoned and leashed to Lucifer’s will. The other three horsemen just sort of appeared, seemingly serving Lucifer of their own will, almost as if Lucifer had  _created_  them for his own purposes. But Death is older than Lucifer. Death was not  _created_  by anyone. Death came into being the moment the Light pulled away from the Darkness.

And what do you know? I was just reading the transcript of 5.21 Two Minutes to Midnight, going back to get the exact quote of Death talking about his relationship to God, how neither could really remember which of them was older, but I found something else there, too. This line from Bobby:

> Look, Sam’s got a… darkness in him. I’m not saying he don’t. But he’s got a hell of a lot of good in him, too. 

Like Lucifer, Sam was his vessel not because he was evil, but because he was able to contain not only the light, but also the darkness. This was Dean’s legacy, too. S5 blurred the lines between Heaven and Hell, and the scaled-down Christian mirror of the larger cosmic conflict between Light and Dark, order and entropy. The angels and demons were working together to free Lucifer, the embodiment of both sides of the struggle between Light and Dark. Even Meg later pointed out to Cas in 8.17 that she’d been a little bit good and Cas had been a little bit evil, fundamentally undermining the traditional notions of Heaven and Hell as “good” and “evil” respectively.

The universe might have been blurring these concepts together since the beginning, but Death’s role is still a constant. Dean and Sam may have contributed to the muddying of the waters, but it had been going on since long before that first fish flopped itself up on shore and decided to try walking for a change.

*glances up to top of this essay and wonders what the hell happened*

*apologizes for the rambling and possibly pointless nature of this narrative*

*shrugs and continues to write anyway*

None of this absolves Dean and Sam of their responsibility for releasing the darkness. I just needed a way to sort through all the main players in this game, so I laid out the show’s history of the universe as I understand it. I’m not trying to prove that Dean and Sam weren’t responsible for all of their actions that led to this, but causality is a thing, and it applies to a certain extent here. If so, then maybe the show is gong to transcend the free will versus destiny dynamic entirely. The balance between Light and Darkness isn’t something you can fight. It’s not about choosing one or the other, or having one or the other chosen for you (as happened during S4 and S5 with Sam and Dean as the chosen vessels of Hell and Heaven, respectively). There is only the strength of character one can demonstrate in choosing to stand between Light and Dark.

In that metaphorical way, I can accept that Dean has taken on Death’s role as the fulcrum between Light and Dark, but not as the “being” we have always known as Death. Death is Righteous, in the same way Dean has always been the Righteous Man. I don’t mean Righteous as in “allied with God or Heaven or Light,” but in the blind justice, morally virtuous and correct way.

Sam insisted that he would never see Dean as anything but good. Dean himself sat in his hotel room in a daze repeating “I’m good, I’m good,” over an over in an attempt to convince himself of that fact. I believe his moment of peace came when he admitted that he wasn’t all good. The mark had finally broken him to the reality that no matter how much he loved (Sam, Cas, the world in general), it would never be enough to hold back the darkness on his own. The last person he could call on for help would of course be Death, the eternal balance between Light and Darkness. In his own way, Death can be interpreted to have sacrificed that incarnation of himself in order to free up the position for Dean himself to take over, but the eternal essence that Death embodied on the show, that position has never been vacant. That position is the coin, one face of which is light and the other darkness, inextricably tied to each other.

As such, I don’t think the darkness is a force that can be fought back into submission. I also hope it’s not portrayed as inherently evil versus God being portrayed as inherently good. It’s simply creation versus destruction, and I hope that’s how it’s presented on the show.

I have no idea what I even started writing here, but it sort of got away from me. As you can see, I am rather excited about S11, and the more I think about it, the more I will be 1000000% disappointed if we end up with evil supervillains dressed up as white guys in cheap suits again. So thanks for reading. If you’ve made it this far, go have a cookie. You deserve it.

 

 

[spn s11 wishlist](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-s11-wishlist) [DO NOT SUCCUMB TO THE DARKNESS](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/DO-NOT-SUCCUMB-TO-THE-DARKNESS) [the evolving evolution of Supernatural's origin story](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/the-evolving-evolution-of-Supernatural%27s-origin-story) [death takes a permanent holiday](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/death-takes-a-permanent-holiday) [this got waaaaay longer than i expected it to and i am so so sorry](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/this-got-waaaaay-longer-than-i-expected-it-to-and-i-am-so-so-sorry) [but i apparently have a LOT of thoughts on this](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/but-i-apparently-have-a-LOT-of-thoughts-on-this) [also for a brief period in the middle of writing this I may have achieved about 12 seconds of perfect nirvana](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/also-for-a-brief-period-in-the-middle-of-writing-this-I-may-have-achieved-about-12-seconds-of-perfect-nirvana) [or at the very least may have suffered a small stroke](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/or-at-the-very-least-may-have-suffered-a-small-stroke) [not really](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/not-really) [but i think i left my body for a while there](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/but-i-think-i-left-my-body-for-a-while-there) [also so much for my dcbb because I think I blew my whole writing](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/also-so-much-for-my-dcbb-because-I-think-I-blew-my-whole-writing) [or patience for writing at least](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/or-patience-for-writing-at-least) [writing this](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/writing-this) [oh well](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/oh-well)

 

ONE YEAR LATER:

 

May 18, 2016

102 notes

[watchtheroaddean](http://watchtheroaddean.tumblr.com/post/144535799243):

> [mittensmorgul](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/119947340790):
>
>> **This started out as a single thought, I swear. It went off on a really long tangent, which I put under a cut. You’re welcome.
>> 
>> I was reading [this meta](http://dustydreamsanddirtyscars.tumblr.com/post/119513990296/and-the-story-became-the-story) by [dustydreamsanddirtyscars](http://tmblr.co/m4J6yls3rYvF2fUHLnY_jJQ) this morning, and it made me think. Most of the religious themes dealt with on Supernatural have been tied to the Bible and Heaven and Hell and prophets and God and Lucifer and the like. Even the Leviathan were presented through a Biblical lens rather than a pre-Biblical primordial horror viewpoint. They were squished into the existing mythos of God and heaven and the creation of the Earth.
>> 
>> The story we could get involving the Darkness, and the beginnings of the universe as we know it, the rise of a force of Light to counter the Darkness and sweep it back to make room for Creation itself to gain a foothold, it feels more like a metaphor for the big bang theory than any one religion. And I like this idea.
>> 
>> [Keep reading](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/119947340790/supernatural-the-darkness-god-death-lucifer)
> 
> “Dean has taken on Death’s role as the fulcrum between Light and Dark”
> 
> Dean is the firewall between Light and Darkness.
> 
> **Holy Crap, this amazing.**
> 
> “If so, then maybe the show is gong to transcend the free will versus destiny dynamic entirely.  **The balance between Light and Darkness isn’t something you can fight**.”
> 
> I love this! Ever since they brought up Sartre again with Chuck talking about being and nothingness I’ve had a feeling that Amara and Chuck are going to cancel each other out somehow. Because only without the presence and influence of God can Team Free Will finally have real free will.  Dean will have to make a choice between filling his role as a “chosen one” or stepping aside and letting Creation and Destruction cancel each other out, in true  _Witness_  fashion.
> 
> (p.s. [@mittensmorgul](https://tmblr.co/mH08bFF21ewTCayiwIXZEOg) You wrote this a year ago!!! I’m in awe. It’s beautiful<3) 

Oh my gosh, I haven’t thought about this in a while… But yeah, I wrote this the day after 10.23 aired. May 26, 2015.

I feel kinda prophet-y now.

Because I still see that as Dean’s REAL choice. Choosing the “light” over the Darkness isn’t really an option. It’s not an inherently “better” choice. This is about Dean choosing to pull himself out of the middle of their tug of war. It’s almost like his best choice now is just to refuse to play middleman and step aside so they can face one another directly.

Okay, I confess it’s late, I should be writing, and I didn’t reread the entire thing I wrote before, but what I did read still holds up 21 episodes and a year later. So I’m going with it. :D

Source: [mittensmorgul](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/119947340790/supernatural-the-darkness-god-death-lucifer)

Reblogged from [watchtheroaddean](http://watchtheroaddean.tumblr.com/post/144535799243/supernatural-the-darkness-god-death-lucifer)

 

 

[spn s11 speculation](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-s11-speculation) [mittens the useless prophet](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/mittens-the-useless-prophet) [*mittens attempts to become one with the universe amid the sea of duality*](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/%2Amittens-attempts-to-become-one-with-the-universe-amid-the-sea-of-duality%2A) [Grand Unification via Love Theory](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/Grand-Unification-via-Love-Theory) [because that plays a part in all of this too](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/because-that-plays-a-part-in-all-of-this-too) [reblobbing so I'll remember to read this again after coffee tomorrow and goes back to writing :P](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/reblobbing-so-I%27ll-remember-to-read-this-again-after-coffee-tomorrow-and-goes-back-to-writing-%3AP)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted the day after 11.22 aired.

# Grand Reunification, Indeed

May 19, 2016

106 notes

I just rewatched 11.22, and there are several things that REALLY stand out to me now that I’ve been able to watch it again. My inbox filled up with Cas-related posts last night, and I really wanted to address them all to help upset Cas fans feel a little better about his fate and his future, so I spent most of the night (literally most of the night, I finally got to bed around 5 am) responding to those posts as best I could, and there are still more to deal with. Unfortunately for me, it stopped me from thinking about what the ACTUAL focus of the episode was. Because the show isn’t just about Cas (even though he’s been made integral to the resolution of s11, this episode is really about Chuck and Amara).

So in a sense, I was playing Chuck last night, deliberately misdirecting from that central conflict by foisting it off onto poor Castiel. Because that’s what Chuck’s been doing all along. Let’s see if I can actually explain my thoughts on this coherently instead of in the gleefully flaily way I wanted to last night before being bogged down and distracted.

The episode started out with Chuck and Lucifer playing out a metaphor for what’s been going on between them since the dawn of time. Chuck did apologize for locking Lucifer away, and accepted his reasoning that it was because Lucifer had been his favorite, and it tormented him to see what the Mark had done to Lucifer. As far as Lucifer is concerned, that’s what Chuck needed to apologize for. But Chuck still dodged around the core issue that led to Lucifer needing to take on the Mark in the first place. That wasn’t Lucifer’s beef with him, though. He’d been doing his duty as a son by taking on the Mark. He did it willingly (like Dean did, and like Sam volunteered to do by the end of the episode). But the sacrifice was in vain, even though it allowed Chuck to distance himself from the problems he created for himself.

Chuck is REALLY good at foisting off responsibility onto others… It’s kind of the cornerstone of this universe he created. And he’s managed to do it THREE TIMES in this single episode. And again, three is the magic number. I’ll come back to that in a second, but let’s look at the other two examples of Chuck sliding out from under the weight of his own responsibilities.

Chuck did with Lucifer what he’s been shown to do with Metatron in 11.20– he deflected. That whole “Dr. Phil” scene proved that, with Chuck’s non-apology. And the continuation of Chuck’s plans to use OTHERS to do what needs to be done regarding Amara. He’s been running from her and hiding in his own safe her since she was released, and even now he’s trying to place barriers between himself and Amara.

He’s been shown “borrowing” Dean’s identity, behaving like Dean, stealing his ROBE, and now I think we’re seeing the flip side of that equation with him pushing HIS issues back on to Dean, through no fault of Dean’s own.

Let me back up and explain: 

When Dean had the Mark (the exact same way we’ve now been led to believe happened with Lucifer when he bore the Mark), of course he wasn’t “strong” enough to bear it. If the mark was able to “corrupt” even the brightest, most powerful archangel, how could a single human hope to contain it? Death’s final suggestion to Dean was that he voluntarily lock himself outside of Creation in order to contain it, which is how Chuck has always dealt with his problems.

Amara gets uppity and tries to smash his toys? Make a box, throw her in, lock the door. Leviathan try to do the same? Make Purgatory, throw them in, lock the door. Lucifer changes because of the Mark’s (hence, Amara’s) influence? Build a box, throw him in, lock the door. I described Chuck’s approach to dealing with problems as a nesting doll in a bit I wrote the other day, and that’s so accurate. But as he’s come to realize, no safeguard is powerful enough to contain it forever. Time passes, locks fail, and eventually this will come back and bite him in the ass.

When Dean suggested they kill Amara at their planning meeting, even after Chuck’s little speech about how that would lead to “universe-ending” bad stuff, since Light can’t exist without Darkness and it’s all about BALANCE, if Amara’s destroyed, Chuck will ALSO be destroyed, and along with them ALL of creation. It would be the opposite of the big bang that birthed the universe.

But when Lucifer (being the little shit he is) suggested that Dean couldn’t kill her and mockingly called her his “girlfriend,” Dean’s doubts resurfaced, and Chuck latched on to those doubts to deflect his own responsibilities onto DEAN. And because Dean was vulnerable, and experiencing doubts over his unwanted and upsetting bond with Amara, he accepted Chuck’s rationalization that the only reason his attempt on her life failed was because of his INTENT. He didn’t WANT to kill her, so he was therefore UNABLE to kill her.

And Dean hesitantly accepted that. I mean, this is GOD making that statement, so the expectation is that he’s telling the truth. Dean was conveniently positioned for Chuck to take advantage of, and he positively leaped at the chance. If he can blame DEAN, then he’s avoided facing the reality of his situation yet again.

I mean, he let Lucifer believe that LUCIFER HIMSELF was responsible for his own fate FOR BILLIONS OF YEARS. That’s how long Chuck said that Amara had been locked away. He literally set Lucifer up as the original scapegoat, and then commanded that his “believers” on Earth could similarly dispose of the responsibility for their own “sins” by a ritual to transfer their “evils” to a goat that’s then led away into the wilderness. ([Leviticus 16](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.biblegateway.com%2Fpassage%2F%3Fsearch%3DLeviticus%2B16&t=OTYwMzhhMTMyMjJlMjllZGU5NjdmOTQ1YzM2ZmRmM2Y5MjIyYjBiNCx2ZFlzOUtCaw%3D%3D&b=t%3AgQ2jjt29OviG-kJJpyAysQ&p=http%3A%2F%2Fmittensmorgul.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F144609519920%2Fgrand-reunification-indeed&m=1)) That’s GOD’S TEXTBOOK PLAY.

It makes me wonder if Chuck’s repeated defiance of some of the other laws set forth in Leviticus in recent episodes was deliberately to draw our attention to THIS PASSAGE. Chuck transferred his own sins (the captivity and control of Amara) onto Lucifer and then cast him into the wilderness (or the Cage). He’s of the “out of sight, out of mind” philosophy. And that even rang through in his apology to Lucifer here. Chuck’s statement that he couldn’t bear to see what had become of Lucifer, and rather than face that he locked him away, bears that out pretty clearly. But that STILL only begins to scratch the surface of what Chuck’s FIRST ACTUAL CRIME was: Locking Amara away in the first place.

And now, back to the planning mission scene, where responsibility of the failure to stop Amara can be easily passed off as DEAN’S BURDEN and DEAN’S FAILURE, Chuck leaps at the chance.

> **Chuck:**  Maybe it didn’t work because you didn’t want it to work. Maybe you didn’t want to kill her.

MAYBE THIS ISN’T DEAN’S PROBLEM TO DEAL WITH AT ALL YOU SLIPPERY JERK. MAN UP.

But, no. This is Chuck’s SECOND deflection of the episode. The third happens mostly offscreen, but it relies on Sam’s belief in him (reestablished over the last few episodes through Sam’s awe and wonder at meeting God set against Dean’s grudging acceptance of help at the end of days here). What’s Chuck’s Big Plan? Basically reenact the entire scenario that landed them in this mess in the first place.

Same plan, new scapegoat.

In Sam’s eyes, he was just making one more sacrifice to save the world, like he did willingly in Swan Song. He agreed to take on the Mark because he believed in God’s plan. Only revealing it to Dean at the critical moment, DEAN EVEN ACCEPTED IT. Albeit grudgingly, like he’s always accepted anything from Authority Figures.

When Amara showed up, Chuck’s attempt to reason with her failed utterly, as he expected it would. Shock and awe wasn’t nearly shocking or awesome enough to blind her to his intentions.

Lucifer may have accepted the apology Chuck had given him, but in the end, Amara wouldn’t. And her reasoning for NOT accepting it was the same as Lucifer’s reason for wanting an apology in the first place: for being locked away.

Lucifer had been locked away as as scapegoat, but Amara had been locked away for being who she is. THAT’S the crux of the matter. That’s Chuck’s THIRD deflection.

But how did she end up as “The Original Mark” in the first place? My theory is that Chuck excised her from HIMSELF. That she’s literally his other half.

I recall back at the beginning of 10.10 (also directed by John Badham, for what it’s worth), Dean approaches Sam and Cas begging to find some way to remove the Mark. He begged them to “burn it off, cut it off,” because it was too much for him to bear. Cas told him it goes far deeper than that, and it can’t just be “burned off.”

But what if that’s what Chuck did when creating the Mark– THE ORIGINAL MARK, MEANING AMARA HERSELF? I find it interesting and noteworthy that again we’re show imagery of the Mark as a burning thing; burning OFF of Amara and ONTO Sam. Dean’s scar always did resemble a burn scar. Because I firmly believe that’s exactly what it was. And I’m REALLY interested to know if Chuck’s got an inverse mark somewhere on his own body where Amara was carved from in the first place.

So my biggest question after this episode is: WHY HAS NOBODY SUGGESTED THAT CHUCK HIMSELF TAKE THE MARK?! Why has he repeatedly deflected his own responsibility off onto others, rather than accepting reunification with Amara?

And yet again I’m holding up Charlie as the defining example for what Chuck needs to do. “Good Charlie” didn’t want to accept the “Dark” half of herself back into herself. I think I need to watch 10.11 again, because there’s SO MUCH in that episode that now applies to Chuck. Chuck is “Good Charlie.” Amara is “Dark Charlie.”

> GOOD CHARLIE: Me. I’ve been following her so I can catch her before she does something stupid a-and just lock her away forever.

Isn’t that exactly what Chuck’s been trying to do with Amara since the dawn of time? But Sam’s reply to that statement is:

> SAM: Uh, Charlie? … That’s not an answer.

Literally, Sam’s just told Charlie what Chuck needs to hear right now. YOU CAN’T OUTRUN YOUR PAST. YOU CAN’T OUTRUN YOURSELF.

The resolution to Charlie’s problem was that she had to choose for herself to use the key to reunite both parts of herself together. She couldn’t just avoid the “dark” parts of herself because it was convenient. She couldn’t just lock the Dark part of herself away in some alternate reality (in this case, Oz, in Amara’s case, into a scapegoat).

At the time 10.11 aired, Charlie’s internal struggle and acceptance of both her light and dark halves, and her reunification into a WHOLE person, was played off of Dean’s struggle to live with the Mark. But just like Lucifer was unable to bear the weight of Chuck’s darker half, Dean’s attempts to live with it were doomed to failure. In addition to the Darkness of Dean’s own self, he was trying to contain the eternal Darkness carved off of GOD HIMSELF.

So just like Lucifer, Dean was incapable of finding a balance within himself for the Darkness of the entire universe. How could he? He was nothing but a scapegoat. And like Lucifer, he blamed himself at first. And Chuck was able to deflect his responsibility in the matter just like “Good Charlie” tried to do.

The solution is balance, but balance can’t come from Chuck and Amara separately. The ONLY viable solution is for Chuck to reclaim that part of himself to restore the balance. He’s literally the only one who can.

 

[spn 11.22](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-11.22) [spn 10.10](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-10.10) [spn 10.11](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-10.11) [if you say 'mysterious ways' so help me i will kick your ass](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/if-you-say-%27mysterious-ways%27-so-help-me-i-will-kick-your-ass)[who is amara?](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/who-is-amara%3F) [charlie bradbury defense league](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/charlie-bradbury-defense-league) [*mittens attempts to become one with the universe amid the sea of duality*](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/%2Amittens-attempts-to-become-one-with-the-universe-amid-the-sea-of-duality%2A) [Grand Unification Via Love Theory](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/Grand-Unification-Via-Love-Theory) [oh DEAN](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/oh-DEAN) [sam fucking winchester](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/sam-fucking-winchester) [lucifer (the one on spn-- not my kid)](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/lucifer-%28the-one-on-spn---not-my-kid%29)


	3. Chapter 3

[Jan 23, 2016](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/137891734065/deathbycoldopen-mittensmorgul-ive-run-into)

19 notes

[deathbycoldopen](http://deathbycoldopen.tumblr.com/post/137861035457):

> [mittensmorgul](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/137852648210):
>
>> I’ve run into a problem writing my Love Meta. It’s a terrible and glorious problem. I went back to the beginning of S8 looking for every plot point that had to do with love. DO YOU KNOW WHAT A FUTILE EXERCISE THIS IS? LIKE EVERY EPISODE HAS TO DO WITH LOVE IN SOME WAY.
>> 
>> So… I’m having to change tack, and thank god I’m snowed in with nothing but time on my hands. So much for the actual story I’d been writing, because I have basically spent the day wallowing in love… and love. I mean, it’s not a BAD way to spend the day, per se, but I don’t feel particularly productive either.
>> 
>> The point is, I don’t even know what my point is. I guess I’m just reporting in that the blizzard hasn’t knocked out the power yet *fingers crossed* and I’m still here. *shrugs* *returns to the warm fuzzy love-in*
> 
> DUDE for a shortcut (if you haven’t already) look at [@thevioletcaptain](http://tmblr.co/mkrTGi1U6K9-kgo9KV69Itw)‘s [The Weight of the World is Love](http://thevioletcaptain.tumblr.com/post/80028018892/the-weight-of-the-world-is-love-masterpost)post, it has literally everything from s8 and the first half of s9

Yeah, between that and the posts [@dustydreamsanddirtyscars](http://tmblr.co/m4J6yls3rYvF2fUHLnY_jJQ) has been making in the last two days, I’ve basically abandoned the attempt. But it has also reconfirmed the original theory that led me to start it in the first place.

Love is the magical thing that will put everything right in the universe. If all the problems started at the beginning of time when God and the Darkness split (a act that can be seen as the opposite of love, which isn’t hate but indifference, or isolation, or something far larger than mere hatred), then the only solution has to be love.

Now that 11.13 is titled “Love Hurts” and the headline on the plot summary blurb reads “Who Do You Love?” (also the intro song from way back in 9.01), and after two and a half seasons prodding Dean, Sam, Cas, and even Crowley to define what love is for them, who is important to them, and the power of love, WHAT ELSE ARE WE SUPPOSED TO BELIEVE?

Love is the answer, love will find a way, love will bring us together, all you need is love, …and the gods made love. It’s all going to come down to love. It’s the longest running theme in the subtext (and main text) of the entire show. It’s almost too big to meta. 

[here have my belated thoughts on the whole love... and love](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/here-have-my-belated-thoughts-on-the-whole-love...-and-love) [instead of writing the huge meta i'll just stand here and point emphatically at all the little posts that discuss aspects of the](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/instead-of-writing-the-huge-meta-i%27ll-just-stand-here-and-point-emphatically-at-all-the-little-posts-that-discuss-aspects-of-the) [Grand Unification Via Love Theory](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/Grand-Unification-Via-Love-Theory) [and quietly archive them all under these tags](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/and-quietly-archive-them-all-under-these-tags)


	4. Chapter 4

Jan 27, 2016

3 notes

OKAY! I got this question in my little chat thingy, and started answering it in the little chat thingy, and then quckly realized that the little chat thingy is a TERRIBLE format to answer long questions in, so I’m posting it here. If you’re interested in the topic, I left the original question above the cut, but my answer kinda went on and on (like I said, the chat bubble format is really impractical for answering long questions, mostly because I don’t realize just how much I’m typing until I try to copy-paste the whole thing into a text post…) ON WITH THE SHOW:

[@lilonesub](http://tmblr.co/mCx2exMtzJhuroQqZRn6BzQ) asked: Hej, First off I love seeing your blog come up on my dash. You have such wonderful insight   about all things happening in and around the show… I have a question, I am not sure if you have talked about this here or not so here goes. In season 5 episode two minutes to midnight, Dean is going after Deaths ring, Dean is surprised that death will just give him his ring to get Lucifer off his back so to speak. In their conversation about he and God are so old they can’t remember who came first. We also hear death telling Dean that he will even “reap” God one day. So my Question is even though “Death” is dead, the other reapers must have thought about replacing him some how. So if they replace Death can’t the new Death “reap” Amara or at least try to? I hope this question is not a dumb one and that perhaps I have missed something important explaining why “reaping” Amara is not possible. Anyway thank you for a great blog.

Hi there! And thanks! I don’t know how much is really insightful, but I enjoy talking about the show, so I’ll do my best to explain what I think.

Part of the whole deal with Death, as well as God and Amara, is I believe they’re absolutes. And yeah, Death said he’d reap God one day, but I think that was more of a metaphor for the universe coming to an end as we know it.I also think it’s interesting that Death had to be “killed” before the darkness was released (and yeah I know it’s not a causality but a coincidence), but it’s still interesting.Also interesting was the statement Amara made that she didn’t know “this Death.” That led me to think one of two things

1\. she really didn’t know him because he was created after she was locked away (but that doesn’t make sense with the canon statement that Death is as old as god, or even older)

or 2. Amara literally didn’t know THIS PARTICULAR INCARNATION of Death, because Death has changed since she was locked away

Gosh this is getting complicated for the IM system to handle all this…maybe I should just make a post…

WHATEVER! I am of the view that The Darkness and God were the products of the Big Bang… whatever brought the universe into existence was the result of Light splitting from Darkness. That they are two halves of a whole that’s been split up into everything that makes up the universe.

As soon as that duality was created, Death became inevitable. Creation/destruction, life/death. So Death was probably brought into being at the same time God and Amara were. (Sorry, it’s quicker to type Amara than The Darkness all the time, but you know what I mean). 

Back then, when the only things in creation were (theoretically) the Leviathan, locked away in Purgatory because it’s been stated that they were created before the angels were (but maybe not before the archangels… that’s open for debate)

So Death didn’t really have much to reap yet. Maybe he wasn’t even called Death, you know? They’ve toyed with the canon of what reapers are, implying they’re similar to angels. But we never really learned what the Horsemen were, especially Death.Perhaps he wasn’t even needed to reap anything until after the battle to lock Amara up the first time, and therefore was just kinda THERE, and not actually Death yet.I hope that makes sense.

And whether or not we’ll get a “new Death,” since I don’t believe we’ve actually “killed for real” the old Death, just his “vessel” or whatever equivalent would apply, since we don’t really know how he functions.

It’s not out of the question that someone else might inherit the mantle of his power, but people are still dying in the show, so obviously death is still a thing that exists.It’s just “Death” with the capital D, his power continues on even if his physical form is gone.We shall see! But yes, I think it’ll eventually be addressed at some point on the show, and I really hope we get more of Billie the reaper, because I like her loads. :D

Now that I bothered to type all that out, I wish I’d just gone ahead and made a post! :D 

ALSO! Now that I went ahead and copied this thing into a format that I can actually read, instead of little chat bubbles… Why doesn’t Death, or whoever is functioning as Death, simply “reap” Amara? Because as I see it, Amara is the other half of the coin that is God. Reap one, reap the other. Just like killing Dark Charlie would’ve killed Good Charlie.

Maybe God deserves reaping after the mess he’s left us all to deal with (at least in Supernatural canon), but there’s also the theory that what Amara is eating (souls and angel grace, and even the twisted souls that constitute demons) are all just slivers and facets of God. That God basically spread himself (or the essence of what he is, i.e. Light) throughout all of his creation. Reaping God would be tantamount to the end of the universe. It’ll be the final act before all of creation is obliterated.

Without darkness there can be no light. Without Amara, maybe there can be no God, and therefore no  _anything_. Which reminds me of the notion of The Empty, mentioned by Billie the Reaper recently.

Whatever happens, I think it’s going to be more along the lines of God and Amara reintegrating themselves together, either cancelling each other out or becoming whole, or however you want to see it. It’s not going to be about killing one, or both of them.

And this ALSO plays into my Grand Unification Via Love theory! So, *tags it and throws it on the giant pile of love stuff* 

 

 

[spn s11 speculation](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-s11-speculation) [Death and his backup dancers doin the old razzle dazzle](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/Death-and-his-backup-dancers-doin-the-old-razzle-dazzle) [Grand Unification Via Love Theory](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/Grand-Unification-Via-Love-Theory) [here have my belated thoughts on the whole love... and love](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/here-have-my-belated-thoughts-on-the-whole-love...-and-love) [who is amara?](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/who-is-amara%3F)[if you say 'mysterious ways' so help me i will kick your ass](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/if-you-say-%27mysterious-ways%27-so-help-me-i-will-kick-your-ass) [*mittens attempts to become one with the universe amid the sea of duality*](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/%2Amittens-attempts-to-become-one-with-the-universe-amid-the-sea-of-duality%2A) [let's see what other tags can i throw into this tag soup](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/let%27s-see-what-other-tags-can-i-throw-into-this-tag-soup) [billie the reaper](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/billie-the-reaper)


	5. Chapter 5

[Feb 4, 2016](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/138680429735/postmodernmulticoloredcloak-mittensmorgul)

108 notes

[postmodernmulticoloredcloak](http://postmodernmulticoloredcloak.tumblr.com/post/138675617982):

> [mittensmorgul](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/138675059395):
>
>> [mittensmorgul](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/138642028025):
>>
>>> Dean, those teachers weren’t making out in the break room.There were three of them just hanging out. Were you confusing real life with porn again?
>> 
>> On rewatch, this was the specific scene Dean witnessed in the teacher’s break room:
>> 
>> A situation interestingly similar to one Dean once referred to as “the beginning of every porno I’ve ever seen,” back in 8.23:
>> 
>> So yeah, I think Dean just let his imagination run away with him again. But why make up that story for Sam? Just to make Sam uncomfortable? Maybe to watch Sam roll his eyes and laugh it off? It just seems like a strange lie to tell. To say that some sexytimes were happening when really nothing of the sort was going on.
>> 
>> And I can’t help but think of the trailer we got for the next episode, with Dean proudly sporting what looks like an outrageously large hickey and strutting around the kitchen wearing it like a badge of honor. Which, taken in context with Dean inventing the scenario of the teachers making out when they were doing nothing of the sort, makes me wonder if it’s a larger symbol of the things Dean’s actually hiding from Sam.
>> 
>> It’s all smoke and mirrors, but I think things are going to start clearing up beginning in the next episode, since that hickey was highlighted with a burst of red and a lingering sparkle effect. Our attention has been suitably drawn, now it’s time for Dean to lay his cards on the table.
> 
> Yeah I think this episode and the next are to be seen together, so to speak. The whole talk about sexuality and birth control and STD and condoms is probably part of a greater subtext structure that the next episode also belongs to.

Not to mention the Viagra talk in the last episode, and Dean not-so-sneakily pocketing a bottle of it for himself…

 

 

[spn 11.12](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-11.12) [spn s11 spoilers](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-s11-spoilers) [spn 11.11](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-11.11) [spn 11.13](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-11.13) [spn s11 speculation](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-s11-speculation) [Grand Unification Via Love Theory](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/Grand-Unification-Via-Love-Theory) [since it's all about the love and heartbreak... and love](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/since-it%27s-all-about-the-love-and-heartbreak...-and-love) [and the hiding of all that stuff under a thin veneer of hypermasculine posturing and sex jokes](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/and-the-hiding-of-all-that-stuff-under-a-thin-veneer-of-hypermasculine-posturing-and-sex-jokes)


	6. Chapter 6

A tag ramble on a gifset reblog dated February 9, 2016:

 

 [there have been SO MANY hints at a happy ending](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/there-have-been-SO-MANY-hints-at-a-happy-ending)

[but also of the cycle they've been looping through forever that they're still trapped in](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/but-also-of-the-cycle-they%27ve-been-looping-through-forever-that-they%27re-still-trapped-in) 

[at least we're getting sam and dean acknowledging it now and trying to work their way free of it](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/at-least-we%27re-getting-sam-and-dean-acknowledging-it-now-and-trying-to-work-their-way-free-of-it)

[they're still working their way free of the mess they feel responsible for but they're also hoping to have a future when it's over](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/they%27re-still-working-their-way-free-of-the-mess-they-feel-responsible-for-but-they%27re-also-hoping-to-have-a-future-when-it%27s-over) 

[going all the way back to dean's confession last season about people and feelings](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/going-all-the-way-back-to-dean%27s-confession-last-season-about-people-and-feelings) 

[and sam wanting something with someone who understands the life](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/and-sam-wanting-something-with-someone-who-understands-the-life) [and after more than three years there sam finally acknowledged that the bunker is home and not just a place where they work](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/and-after-more-than-three-years-there-sam-finally-acknowledged-that-the-bunker-is-home-and-not-just-a-place-where-they-work) 

[and dean is thinking about watching the sunset and following his heart](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/and-dean-is-thinking-about-watching-the-sunset-and-following-his-heart)

[none of these were throwaway lines or scenes](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/none-of-these-were-throwaway-lines-or-scenes) 

[even cas has been asked how many times what he wants? it's a broken record at this point](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/even-cas-has-been-asked-how-many-times-what-he-wants%3F-it%27s-a-broken-record-at-this-point) 

[h](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/he%27s-in-the-darkest-spot-of-all-three-of-them-right-now-%28with-the-lightbringer-possessing-him-even%21%29) [e's in the darkest spot of all three of them right now (with the lightbringer possessing him even!)](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/he%27s-in-the-darkest-spot-of-all-three-of-them-right-now-%28with-the-lightbringer-possessing-him-even%21%29)

[but we know that sam and dean are about to find out and freeing cas is right up at the top of their to do list](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/but-we-know-that-sam-and-dean-are-about-to-find-out-and-freeing-cas-is-right-up-at-the-top-of-their-to-do-list) 

[just like it was back in 11.01 when dean's main reason for getting out of the zompire-infested hospital was to save cas](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/just-like-it-was-back-in-11.01-when-dean%27s-main-reason-for-getting-out-of-the-zompire-infested-hospital-was-to-save-cas) 

[i half expect that after dean discovers it's lucifer in there we get a scene of him praying to cas telling him to hold on](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/i-half-expect-that-after-dean-discovers-it%27s-lucifer-in-there-we-get-a-scene-of-him-praying-to-cas-telling-him-to-hold-on) 

[they're gonna save him](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/they%27re-gonna-save-him) [because dean would be incapable of enjoying the view knowing cas sacrificed himself for them](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/because-dean-would-be-incapable-of-enjoying-the-view-knowing-cas-sacrificed-himself-for-them) 

[remember s7? we've already seen that show](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/remember-s7%3F-we%27ve-already-seen-that-show) 

[right now we're being teased with a DIFFERENT outcome](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/right-now-we%27re-being-teased-with-a-DIFFERENT-outcome) 

[one where everyone lives](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/one-where-everyone-lives)

[one where there's BALANCE between hunting and having a regular life with a family and relationships](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/one-where-there%27s-BALANCE-between-hunting-and-having-a-regular-life-with-a-family-and-relationships) 

[where they can make room in their lives for both instead of always expecting they need to pick one extreme over the other](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/where-they-can-make-room-in-their-lives-for-both-instead-of-always-expecting-they-need-to-pick-one-extreme-over-the-other)


	7. Chapter 7

[Feb 11, 2016](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/139133664110/but-wait-puts-tinhat-on-firmly-if-melissa-is-a)

6 notes

**Anonymous asked: But wait! *puts tinhat on firmly* If Melissa is a Cas mirror, and Dean kissed her (to save her from the death curse), could this mean that we're getting a DeanCas kiss as well? *clutches tinhat* Or at least yet another scenario where the Power of Love enables Dean to save Cas? (though they really should give True Love's Kiss a try)**

*ties chin strap holding tin hat firmly in place* YES. I’M CALLING IT NOW.

Dean’s been working on it since s5. And seriously, it’s just irresponsible at this point NOT to give it a try, right? :P

But in all honesty, the love and heartbreak and love has been the predominant theme for how many seasons now?

 

[spn crack](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-crack) [i guess i really should tag it that way because tin hats were involved but...](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/i-guess-i-really-should-tag-it-that-way-because-tin-hats-were-involved-but...) [destiel](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/destiel)[Grand Unification Via Love Theory](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/Grand-Unification-Via-Love-Theory) [Anon](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/Anon)


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My commentary on a post by tumblr user hellsbells91, which is included for conversational context.

#  [Home is Where the Heart Is](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/139174872515/home-is-where-the-heart-is)

[Feb 12, 2016](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/139174872515/home-is-where-the-heart-is)

110 notes

[hellsbells91](http://hellsbells91.tumblr.com/post/139129299274):

>  
> 
> It’s a little difficult to make out but the doormat on Melissa and Dan’s house reads ‘Home is where the Heart Is’ and I just think that fits perfectly within the episode in which the location of peoples’ hearts (both in the metaphorical and physical sense) is brought into question. 
> 
> The idea of home and family itself is of course something heavily used throughout SPN and true to form we’ve had a number of references in season 11 so far. Just a couple of examples we’ve had the speech from Sam about searching for something ‘more’ outside of hunting or declaring that Baby is ‘home’ in 11x04, both brothers had conversations with Claire in 11x12 about her being given a family and a place to call home and Alex talked about being able to move on from her past. Two episodes prior Mildred offered the advice to Dean to follow his heart and the rest would figure itself out. It’s a variation on the same sort of theme that the key has always been and will always be love. 
> 
> What this episode proved is that what Amara and Dean share is not love, it’s like the curse (or love spell as she thought) that Melissa inflicted on Dan when she kissed him, just as Amara tried to gain Dean’s favor when she kissed him in 11x09. And I’m conflicted over this but this could contain some foreshadowing over Dean being destined to die, whether it’s by becoming ‘one’ with Amara or locking the both of them away in the ‘Empty’. The Mark of Cain is the oldest curse after all, one that has been passed on throughout history but like the love curse it’s aim, and likewise Amara’s aim, is to come full circle:
>
>> _“This curse started with you, and I think it wants to end with you.”_
>> 
>> _“I was the beginning and I will be the end.”_
> 
> I’m wildly getting off topic anyway, and that is a topic I’d love to delve into when I have more time xD 
> 
> What I just wanted to say in terms of following your heart and finding home, is that even though Cas isn’t in this episode I do think this saying is also going to play heavily in saving him, Dean is not the only one who should follow his heart. Cas is the one currently without a ‘home’, constantly questioned as to who he is and where he belongs. He’s told by others that Sam and Dean use him like a dog, they don’t care about him, he’s expendable. Well home is where the heart is and that’s just what Sam and Dean need to prove to Cas in order for them to overcome Lucifer and in order for Cas to finally find his home.

I love all this focus on love and home this season, but the line you referenced as hinting that Dean could possibly give in to Amara by sacrificing himself (and potentially dying at the end of the season), I read that exactly in the opposite way, for a couple of reasons.

Dean told Melissa that the curse started with her, and therefore wanted to end with her, but that wasn’t exactly true. Yes, they  _could_  have stopped the curse by sacrificing Melissa to the qareen (or whatever the monster was called) and just washed their hands of the whole affair, but that’s  _not_  what they did. They’re about  _saving everyone_  this season.

The curse  _actually_  started with the witch herself. It was her “home cooking” that powered the spell and made the heartless qareen attack its victims. In the end, it was Melissa herself that gave them a chance to end the curse once and for all, distracting the witch to allow Sam the elbow room he needed to kill both the witch AND the qareen.

And this has been a pattern for a while now, this whole “everyone lives!” ending. All of the wayward daughters survived 11.12 despite Alex offering to sacrifice herself to save her family. Mildred and Eileen both survived 11.11 despite Mildred offering herself as “bait” for the banshee (and a reference to a passage in Genesis wherein the baker (Mildred’s last name) was killed and birds feasted on his head in much the same way the banshee did to its victims).

The main pattern I’ve been noticing is that despite every instinct as a viewer, and despite characters offering themselves as sacrifices or bait or whatever, those “destinies” are being subverted left and right.

The second reason I think Dean’s “safe” in this respect is because at the end of 11.13, when he finally opened up to Sam about how he reacts to Amara and admitted that he won’t be able to kill her, it was  _Sam_  who took up the mantle. It’s Sam who’s now on the line. It was  _Sam_  who stabbed the qareen’s heart and killed the witch while Dean (as Casifer suggested in 11.11) played bait for the monster.

Maybe I’m being excessively hopefully positive, but that’s how I’ve been seeing it play out. There’s still the question of Cas, who’s already put himself at serious risk by “sacrificing” himself to bring Lucifer out of the cage. But that’s just one more opportunity for the Winchesters to subvert “destiny,” by saving Cas (which is incidentally the number one item on their to do list, even above “icing the devil” and killing the Darkness).

 

 

[spn 11.13](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-11.13) [spn s11 spoilers](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-s11-spoilers) [spn 11.11](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-11.11) [spn 11.12](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-11.12) [oh DEAN](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/oh-DEAN) [a character study in sam winchester](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/a-character-study-in-sam-winchester) [casifer? lustiel?](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/casifer%3F-lustiel%3F) [but I ADORE all the growing notion of home and what home is and the desire to be more settled and finding love](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/but-I-ADORE-all-the-growing-notion-of-home-and-what-home-is-and-the-desire-to-be-more-settled-and-finding-love) [Grand Unification Via Love Theory](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/Grand-Unification-Via-Love-Theory) [destiny doesn't stick to dean winchester](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/destiny-doesn%27t-stick-to-dean-winchester)


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> including commentary from tumblr users littlehollyleaf and firstdrafted for the sake of conversational completeness.

[Feb 15, 2016](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/139371774500/littlehollyleaf-firstdrafted)

79 notes

[littlehollyleaf](http://littlehollyleaf.tumblr.com/post/139354195527):

> [firstdrafted](http://firstdrafted.tumblr.com/post/139330044341):
>
>> [littlehollyleaf](http://littlehollyleaf.tumblr.com/post/139323068292):
>>
>>> [firstdrafted](http://firstdrafted.tumblr.com/post/139304651700):
>>>
>>>> jumping back on the “love hurts” response meta train like i never left it:
>>>> 
>>>> a lot of people have pointed out how sam picking up dean’s mytharc torch was written as very deliberate, and honestly i think it’s another carver-of-kripke rewrite. right up until lucifer, you could tell that kripke era returned again and again to the idea of dean cleaning up sam’s problems.
>>>> 
>>>> who kills azazel? not sam or john, who have (identical) reasons for vengeance in the form of a love interest roasted on the ceiling–it’s dean, who doesn’t. who kills ruby? not sam, who has one of the greatest demon-killing weapons ever seen on the show in his brain–it’s dean, who then keeps her knife as his own, to the point where sam usually picks up an angel blade if he wants to kill demons instead of ruby’s knife. sam putting lucifer in the cage is him (tragically) breaking the cycle–taking out  _his_ problem, instead of letting dean do it for him. on another level, it’s sam, who ran away from home to be a real adult, finally  _becoming_ one by proving that he’s capable of dealing with his own messes. 
>>>> 
>>>> dean formally bestowing on sam the Responsibility of being the one to kill amara is a really pronounced moment, and i think it sort of paves the way for a sequel to kripkecanon that pays homage to the possibility of an alternate ending to sam’s emotional growth arc in s1-5, another way that sam could’ve ascended to adulthood without dying. it puts sam in dean’s role in a way that doesn’t just break from their traditional dynamic, but reverses it, pays dean back for the times when he stepped in. this isn’t sam coming of age; sam’s already an adult, and dean hasn’t had to step in to kill sam’s big bad for him since pre-lucifer. this is sam cementing that his and dean’s relationship is actually one of equals, the next step in detoxifying their relationship.
>>>> 
>>>> sam agreeing to be the one to fire the colt, to drive the knife in, in dean’s stead is also a positive resolution to another incident, this time from carvercanon: that time where dean couldn’t quite kill the hellhound, sam stepped up to do it for him. the trials, for him, are even about making up for all the ways he’s “let dean down,” including ruby; dying in the trials would be a way of leveling the scales–like i said, a way to pay dean back for all the times he’s stepped in on sam’s behalf (which obviously goes beyond just being the one to kill azazel or ruby, but it’s a neat stand-in for an aspect of their relationship). and then–dean prevented him from fully accomplishing what was originally  _dean’s task_  because it was going to kill sam, which kicked off the gadreel-consent-suicidal!sam clusterfuck.
>>>> 
>>>> and i think the difference between sam taking on the trials and sam taking on amara is a message to us that you don’t have to die for your sins; you can pick up your brother’s slack, you can fight monsters, without  _killing yourself_  in a radical gesture to that end. by their nature, the trials are a suicide mission, but whether sam survives facing amara is entirely a product of his choices, not a foregone conclusion. and where dean resisted the idea of letting sam take up the trials, which he conceived of as his burden from the start, here he  _asks for help_.
>>>> 
>>>> the trials are the unhealthy failed first attempt of sam in supporting dean; this, then, is the positive, reconstructed final attempt. which also, by the way, tells us something about the natural end to this drama. though of course sam and dean will look gloomy and put on their oh-woe-is-the-world faces every time they’re faced with the prospect of the final showdown, it’d be quite a slap in the face for sam to learn that he doesn’t have to die in support of dean…only to die in support of dean.
>>>> 
>>>> look at that! this turned out to be a happy ending argument after all.
>>> 
>>> yes yes love this!
>>> 
>>> although I want to point out about this:
>>>
>>>> “the difference between sam taking on the trials and sam taking on amara is a message to us that you don’t have to die for your sins; you can pick up your brother’s slack, you can fight monsters, without  _killing yourself_  in a radical gesture to that end”
>>> 
>>> when Sam took on the Trials they were NOT actually a suicide mission, despite Dean looking on them as such for himself, the reveal that the completion of the Trials killed the one doing so was a big twist for everyone in the finale - in fact Sam makes that very strong point of saying that he’s GOING TO SURVIVE THE TRIALS and show Dean light at the end of the tunnel and all that
>>> 
>>> (this is why I was v. v. POSITIVE about Sam taking on the Trials at the start, because I thought they were going to be what Sam taking on killing Amara is described as here)
>>> 
>>> I mean, ofc from a narrative POV it’s likely that Carver had planned for the Trials to be a death sentence all along, so they may well have been designed as a false start at the boys trying to establish equality, but from a character POV I feel like Sam really did start out in a positive ‘neither of us has to die’ frame of mind when he took on the Trials, and similarly Dean letting him take on the Trials was Dean acknowledging that they didn’t have to be HIS burden, that he could accept help… it only later became all about Sam trying to make up for sins and feeling hopelessly unequal to Dean and needing to die to balance scales and Dean seeing only that Sam was unfairly shouldering something meant for him and all that… like, what I’m saying is that the Trials COULD HAVE BEEN what the Amara situation seems to be becoming, and taught the boys the same things about equality and sharing burdens and stuff…
>>> 
>>> …and I’ve forgotten why I was arguing this :p
>>> 
>>> In any case - agree with the above!
>>> 
>>> And maybe it is better this way, because this way Dean ASKED for help as mentioned, so he’s coming to actively realise stuff for himself, which is cool.
>> 
>> while i agree with you that sam’s initial decision to take up the trials wasn’t necessarily death-seeking, i do think that at some point, his decision to  _continue_ the trials, especially at the end, definitely tipped over into the realm of unhealthy (it’s not like you said anything to contradict this, but i think it should be said lmao).
>> 
>> and the point is the same, anyway; sam was killing himself to finish the trials in both a literal (which he was at least not consciously aware of) and a metaphorical (which everyone definitely was aware of) sense, in the same way that you can kill yourself pouring in energy into a project or kill yourself trying to keep a doomed relationship alive. it’s just as easy to rephrase to “you can pick up your brother’s slack without causing yourself serious physical harm in a radical gesture to that end,” which works just as well. not to mention that after he stops the trials, he spends a lot of season 9 thinking that it would’ve been better if he had died and closed the gates– _sam_ definitely retrospectively reads stopping the trials as a failure on his part to do something good, instead of cleaning up the bad result of his mistakes.
>> 
>> there’s also stuff i could say here drawing from [woody evans’s point](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Fjournal.transformativeworks.org%2Findex.php%2Ftwc%2Farticle%2Fview%2F533%2F464&t=YmIzMmUxZTk5YTg4NmU5YWM2YmU3NWMzM2I3M2Y4MDU3MmZmNDQ5NSxUenhXSFp2dA%3D%3D&b=t%3AgQ2jjt29OviG-kJJpyAysQ&p=http%3A%2F%2Fmittensmorgul.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F139371774500%2Flittlehollyleaf-firstdrafted&m=1) that superheroes are fundamentally conservative in nature, that sam and dean’s decision to pursue a radical instead of reactionary strategy, to take the initiative to actively lock out all of the demons, is in itself an “unhealthy” aspect of their quest to close the gates of hell. in this sense, the trials could never have allowed sam to level the playing field with dean, whereas stopping amara does have the potential to give sam that closure and balance, but that is too much for a sunday night
>
>> “sam’s initial decision to take up the trials wasn’t necessarily death-seeking, i do think that at some point, his decision to  _continue_ the trials, especially at the end, definitely tipped over into the realm of unhealthy”
> 
> Yup yup, for sure! Thanks for summarising my babble in a more sensible fashion :)
> 
> But oh, please do feel free to elaborate on  _this_ ANY TIME! -
>
>> “sam and dean’s decision to pursue a radical instead of reactionary strategy, to take the initiative to actively lock out all of the demons, is in itself an “unhealthy” aspect of their quest to close the gates of hell” 
> 
> Because that… rather stands in contradiction to a lot of fandom reaction to Sam and Dean decision to close the gates of Hell. Most of us were really happy to see Sam and Dean being ACTIVE as opposed to REACTIVE, because it seemed to suggest them taking control of their lives, as opposed to constantly having to react to outside forces beyond their control, it SEEMED positive.
> 
> Imo it then became just another negative/unhealthy thing as you say, and I was super GLAD that they chose not to close the gates in the end, I saw it as them starting to see there was worth/value to their  _lives_ as opposed to their death, that they didn’t have to kill themselves in order to have value (you know, what you’re talking about above! although ofc that message didn’t actually sink in as it happened, since S09 saw Sam considering his not dying as a failure as you say, and then Dean epicly decided that death/damnation was all he was good for with the MoC and everything so…) - however, there are many who contest my reading. I’ve been involved in several arguments that put forward Sam and Dean as SELFISH in  _Sacrifice_ for not completing the Trials and closing Hell, because they put their own lives before the good of the world, so… any more discussion about why Sam and Dean prioritising themselves over closing Hell can be considered a good thing would be very much of interest to me!

I always saw their decision to try and close the gates of Hell as a negative thing. Yes, it would’ve been something that could’ve eliminated a huge number of potential threats to humanity, to protect everyone on earth from ever being hurt by a demon again. It sounds great in  _theory_ , but what have Sam and Dean been fighting against their entire lives? Fate. Destiny. Everything the universe, heaven, hell, and everything in between conspired together to force them into.

At first, when they discovered that closing the gates of hell was even something that was a possibility, I was genuinely excited right along with them. Because gosh, they’d been personally used by the universe their whole lives, and they might have finally found a way to break free of that. It seemed like a way for them to be proactive, to reclaim their autonomy from one force in the universe that had been manipulating them their whole lives.

But then I really stopped to think about it. What were they really doing here? They were trying to exert the same kind of manipulation and control they’d been fighting against since the apocalypse. They began arranging events to gain the upper hand against the same forces that had done the same thing to their family since long before they were born, going all the way back to Cain and Abel. Or possibly even earlier…

The fact that Sam was clearly being damaged by the trials didn’t make me feel any better about their decision to carry them out. But it really all comes down to free will, the rallying cry of the show since s5. Closing the gates of hell would’ve been the ultimate expression of the Winchester’s free will, but ultimately it was a selfish act. It was a singly-focused revenge mission that kept them blinded to the fact that the balance of creation was being thrown off by their actions. They may have been exerting their hard-won free will, but at what cost? The free will of everyone else on the planet, as well as Heaven and Hell? How is that any different from how Heaven and Hell conspired together to start the apocalypse in the first place?

What firmly pushed me over into the “The Trials Are A Bad Thing!” camp was, strangely enough, their first meeting with Metatron in 8.21.

Metatron claims he fled heaven, took himself off the game board, in order to protect the tablets and the secrets they held from being used by the archangels. He claimed that after God left, the archangels began plotting to “take over the universe.” It doesn’t seem like an unreasonable claim, considering that even  _without_  the tablets or the knowledge they contained, they still managed to jump start the apocalypse. Clearly, the will of the angels who’d organized that whole clusterfuck was infringing on the will of all of humanity, and was framed from the start as A Bad Thing. It makes it a lot harder to view Sam and Dean’s revenge mission to close the gates of hell as A Bad Thing because surely they were only trying to safeguard humanity, right? Well, from the angels’ point of view,  _they_ were doing the same thing with the apocalypse, right? The worthy humans would ascend to heaven and the unworthy would descend to hell, and the world would end and be wrapped up in a tidy bow. All their problems would be solved, right? So why is the decision of a couple of traumatized hunters to, in Metatron’s words, “Pull one of the Great Levers” that would change all of creation any different?

Metatron planted the idea that maybe there would be some negative fallout to closing the gates of Hell, that it wasn’t a purely beneficial thing to do. The suffering Kevin went through while deciphering the Demon Tablet also didn’t inspire a lot of confidence that what they were attempting was the Right Thing To Do.

Granted, that same episode set up Metatron as kind of a shady character himself. He’d run from Heaven under the guise of a seemingly altruistic act, to keep him and his knowledge out of the hands of angels who would use him for their own purposes, but it was also established that he had some powers that could prove dangerous and scary down the line (like his ability to erase angel warding, which played a part in his rise to power in s9). Power corrupts, after all. But he does offer Dean this legitimate warning, that tampering with the balance of the universe might not be such a great idea:

> METATRON: You really intend on closing the doors of Hell?
> 
> DEAN: Seems like the thing to do, don’t it?
> 
> METATRON: It’s your choice. And that’s what this has all been about, the choices your kind make. But you’re gonna have to weigh that choice. Ask yourself: what is it going to take to do this, and what will the world be like after it’s done?

Dean never got a chance to really ponder Metatron’s warning there, because that’s when Kevin started coming around, and the conversation went right back to the factual information about completing the last trial.

But after the revelation that the Winchesters really intended to go through with the trials, Metatron began scheming up his own plans. He manipulated Castiel into helping him supposedly slam the gates of Heaven, and instead enacted the Angel Fall Event so that he could take over Heaven and begin shaping the world to his own liking, without any regard for anyone else’s will.

I wondered at the time if the spell to “Close the Gates of Hell” might not have done something similar to the Heaven spell Metatron completed, instead of shutting the gates forever if it might’ve purged Hell of every demon, leaving them trapped on Earth the same way the fallen Angels were. There is a very real possibility that could’ve been the result, you know?

In gaining Castiel’s help with the “Heaven Trials,” Metatron described his “great levers” this way:   _Oh, you know, the trials – God’s little ‘pull in case of emergency.’_ After the angels fell, though, a little alarm bell went off in my head that made me wonder if that “pull in case of emergency” lever was nothing more than a big red button labeled “Push In Case of Apocalypse.” Like, was this some sort of fail safe button to reset the universe should the apocalypse be averted by a couple of recalcitrant hunters?

Either way, nothing good has ever come from ANY group or individual trying to fiddle with the balance of the universe. Every time it’s happened, they’ve only ended up causing themselves more problems. After all, Metatron’s grab for power was framed in the exact same way the Winchesters’ drive to take back control was. We all jumped on the “I Hate Metatron” bandwagon for it, but his grab for power was the result of a nearly identical motivation to the Winchesters’. It was a thinly veiled revenge mission that led to an act of hubris*.

Either way, one of the Great Levers did get pulled, even if Sam and Dean abandoned their own attempt at the eleventh hour. And we’re  _still_  seeing the fallout from what Metatron’s lever-pulling began. I think the situation would’ve only been a thousand times worse if Sam had gone through with the trials. For whatever reasons they stopped, which turned out to be a seemingly selfish act of brotherly love, I think it was for the best.

Granted it spawned a bunch of other problems based on the selfish and desperate acts Dean proceeded with beginning in s9 (overriding Sam’s will and letting an angel possess him, pushing Castiel away, beginning a new revenge mission to get Abaddon and Metatron both, taking on the Mark of Cain in order to achieve those ends, etc…), but those terrible decisions were all born out of the first great mistake of even attempting to change the dynamics of the universe in the first place. Dean may have started off with good intentions, trying to fix the problems he felt responsible for having created, but he hadn’t learned his lesson yet, that screwing with the universe no matter how well intentioned it may seem, is  _still screwing with the universe_. Hence, hubris. Everything that came after was the “equal and opposite reaction” to that act of hubris (i.e., Nemesis). At this point, the only way to win is to stop playing the game**. The balance has to be restored.

*I just went off on a very long research tangent on hubris and Nemesis, and how that might very well be a good analogy to their whole situation with Amara and the Darkness right now, but I’ll leave that for another meta…

**Which was the topic of [another meta conversation](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/139315526885/rochambeau) we were having the other day, and seems relevant to append to this conversation as well

 

 

[spn meta-ish attached to much better meta](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-meta-ish-attached-to-much-better-meta) [spn 11.13](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-11.13) [spn s8](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-s8) [hubris and nemesis](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/hubris-and-nemesis)[breaking the codependency through better understanding and effective communication](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/breaking-the-codependency-through-better-understanding-and-effective-communication) [Grand Unification Via Love Theory](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/Grand-Unification-Via-Love-Theory) [i blame metadouche for everything including global warming and bee colony collapse](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/i-blame-metadouche-for-everything-including-global-warming-and-bee-colony-collapse) [oh DEAN](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/oh-DEAN) [a character study in Sam Winchester](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/a-character-study-in-Sam-Winchester) [castiel winchester](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/castiel-winchester) [who is amara?](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/who-is-amara%3F) [i'm throwing that tag in there for the Nemesis reference](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/i%27m-throwing-that-tag-in-there-for-the-Nemesis-reference) [i think i had a point when i started typing here i may or may not have reached it *shrugs and presses reblog button anyway*](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/i-think-i-had-a-point-when-i-started-typing-here-i-may-or-may-not-have-reached-it-%2Ashrugs-and-presses-reblog-button-anyway%2A)


	10. Chapter 10

# Rochambeau

Feb 14, 2016

55 notes

[littlehollyleaf](http://littlehollyleaf.tumblr.com/post/139301644682):

> [mittensmorgul](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/139299450155):
>
>> I’ve been thinking about [@charlie-minion](http://tmblr.co/mvHEDmkc_NfLDy9FyiATojw)‘s post [here ](http://charlie-minion.tumblr.com/post/139273941177/spn-11x13-heartbreak-and-true-love) about 11.13, and specifically the first point, about Dean not being Sam’s parent anymore, culminating in Sam taking on the main role in defeating Amara after Dean’s confession that her hold over him is too strong for him to resist in her presence.
>> 
>> That post describes the Rochambeau game (Rock Paper Scissors) where Dean broke their pattern, tried something new. I just added some comments on [@littlehollyleaf](http://tmblr.co/mj93d7p0vQfWxEHowMHZeUQ)‘s post [here ](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/139294105640/dean-and-sam-as-equals)about whether they were simply switching roles (i.e. Sam taking over the parental role, which has been hinted at a few times this season), or if this was really evidence that they’re trying to find more equal footing and breaking their long-held patterns.
>> 
>> Last season saw Sam disregarding Dean’s wishes and acting in the destructive parenting role we’ve long associated with Dean, but I the more I think about this Rochambeau game, the more I believe that they are both taking steps to treat each other as equals rather than swinging back into their old roles.
>> 
>> It’s been suggested that Dean has traditionally “let Sam win” at Rochambeau, by always throwing scissors. Other than in that alternate universe in 6.17 when Sam threw paper and then seemed shocked that he’d lost, Sam has always thrown rock. It wasn’t just Dean who was in on the “fix” of the game. It required Sam’s consistency at always picking rock in order for Dean “throwing the game” in Sam’s favor to continue working. Sam was just as complicit as Dean in the game’s outcome.
>> 
>> In fact, the ONE TIME Sam ever tried to throw the game in Dean’s favor, in 7.12 when they played the game to determine which of them would get the more comfortable bedroom, they both ended up sabotaging themselves (even though it worked in their favor that Sam actually won in the end, since that’s how Dean was able to deliver his message from 1944 in a way Sam would find it). But in that episode, Sam expected to lose when he threw Paper (because Dean ALWAYS throws scissors, even in the 6.17 alternate universe). But for some reason, Dean uncharacteristically threw Rock, and lost anyway. Dean had to have done that expecting their first round would end in a draw, letting Sam know that he might actually like to win for once, but it backfired on him because Sam was already  _trying to let him win_.
>> 
>> After the Great Rochambeau Disaster of 7.12, we have to assume they fell back into their standard patter of Dean-Scissors and Sam-Rock. If either one of them wanted to intentionally throw the game, it would’ve been simple. If Dean decided he wanted to win outright, all he had to do was throw Paper instead of Scissors, but he didn’t. He was trying the same tactic that failed in 7.12, going for a “draw” by throwing Sam’s usual standby of Rock.
>> 
>> It’s obvious that this strategy was a surprise for Sam, who had to immediately recognize that Dean wasn’t losing on purpose like usual, but Dean also wasn’t sabotaging the game and  _winning_  on purpose, either. He was establishing a baseline of a new game, one in which they shared equal footing and the outcome wasn’t pre-determined.
>> 
>> In the second round, the outcome was entirely left up to chance for what might be the first time ever for these boys, and they both chose scissors. Sam still looks surprised at this, but Dean looks DETERMINED. In the third round, Sam goes back to his old standby of Rock, and Dean goes with Paper, winning the game, much to his delight and Sam’s bemused shock.
>> 
>> The strangest thing is, THE ORIGINAL REASON DEAN GAVE FOR PLAYING THE GAME IN THE FIRST PLACE BECAME MOOT.
>> 
>> The game was prefaced by Sam suggesting he would go search upstairs while Dean remained in the basement looking for the qareen’s heart. After Dean WON the game and should’ve therefore had first dibs at which floor he would search (theoretically Dean initiated the game in a bid to be the one who got the upstairs part of the job), Sam STILL said, “Whatever, I’m going upstairs,” and Dean replied with a breathless “Okay,” and then proceeded to celebrate his victory in the game even though his win changed nothing. THE GAME ITSELF BECAME ENTIRELY IRRELEVANT TO THE OUTCOME.
>> 
>> It’s as if they both finally acknowledged that the game has really been meaningless all along. Dean could’ve pushed to claim his win and taken the upstairs for himself, but he didn’t. He was happy enough to have actually won at all, and the rest simply didn’t matter. Sam was still going to do what he originally set out to do (search upstairs), and Dean still did his job (searching downstairs). But after the mockery of the game was exposed, they could both do their own thing freely, because they chose it for themselves despite the game.
>> 
>> And gosh, I hope they continue to expose the games they play with each other for what they are, and then continue to freely choose their own paths anyway.
> 
> I recently noticed about the game being irrelevant to the outcome as well :p But I LOVE this reading of it - because it relates to one of my tags that’s been running since  _Pac-Man Fever_  about how they NEED TO STOP PLAYING. Because I’ve (mostly) consistently linked the repetitive, cyclic behaviours they’ve been trapped in all show to the ‘game’ Charlie was trapped in that was slowly killing her, with the escape being that just she needed to let go of the game, to STOP PLAYING, via letting go of her guilt over her parents’ death, so too did Sam and Dean need to stop their repetitive ‘game’ by letting go of the various emotions lingering unhealthily inside them that were driving their actions.
> 
> So, by not letting their actions be determined by the rock, paper, scissors game it’s kinda like they symbolically did exactly that, yay!
> 
> (it’s a real shame that it turns out the whole thing [WASN’T EVEN SCRIPTED](http://littlehollyleaf.tumblr.com/post/139299563502/hangover-scene-last-ep-jensen-that-was-from), so there’s no guarantee these implications ARE in fact becoming explicit text any time soon… still, maybe the ad lib was because of J2 picking up on the general theme of change and the boys embracing personal freedom??)

I know! Even if it wasn’t scripted, they did chose to leave the scene in, so however it came about, it’s still canon. And it might not have been scripted, but it also wasn’t filmed as a one-off ad libbed shot. There were multiple camera angles and coverage changes, so my feeling is that it was still deliberately put in there at the last minute, and not just an off the cuff joke that got caught on tape and included in the final cut just for lols.

I just hope we continue to see this trend of giving up the games. :)

Source: [mittensmorgul](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/139299450155/rochambeau)

Reblogged from [littlehollyleaf](http://littlehollyleaf.tumblr.com/post/139301644682/rochambeau)

 

 

[spn 11.13](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-11.13) [spn s11 speculation](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-s11-speculation) [breaking the codependency through better understanding and effective communication](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/breaking-the-codependency-through-better-understanding-and-effective-communication)


	11. Chapter 11

[Feb 24, 2016](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/139920226080/why-do-ppl-even-like-amara-she-literally-hasnt)

57 notes

**Anonymous asked: why do ppl even like amara? she literally hasn't done anything besides eat some souls, harrass dean, throw a tantrum and disappear for several episodes at a time with no consequence despite the supposedly being a ~huge threat~ to the universe? i mean this isn't really the character's fault as it is the writers, but still. are ppl simply enamoured with the idea of how awesome amara could have been and not the amara we actually see on the show? lol**

[littlehollyleaf](http://littlehollyleaf.tumblr.com/post/139904787027/why-do-ppl-even-like-amara-she-literally-hasnt):

> [snowlantern](http://snowlantern.tumblr.com/post/139900844097/why-do-ppl-even-like-amara-she-literally-hasnt):
>
>> When I (rarely) see people talk about Amara as a character they find interesting in some way, I do feel that it’s primarily about their own headcanons about her.
>> 
>> She was a little interesting for awhile when she was a kid. Apart from the creepy baby love interest vibe, I liked that and thought it had potential. But now I couldn’t be any less interested in her as a character.
> 
> Yeah, my interest is in what Amara COULD BE… alas, with each new episode she seems to fail more and more at living up to my hopes for her as a character… I too found her most interesting as a kid learning about humanity, she actually showed signs of having DEPTH then - right now she’s just a characterless threat (replaceable with a sexy lamp, perhaps *sigh*)… although to be fair we haven’t really seen much of her the last few episodes, so there’s not really been the space for her to show depth/character…

I have a slightly different (and probably really unpopular) opinion on Amara. I think she’s supposed to be a completely flat character. She’s not supposed to have a development arc. She’s not supposed to become more human and evolve. She is literally supposed to be a two-dimensional character. Because she’s not really a character, she’s a mask. She’s a visual representation of something that (in theory) a human mind can’t even conceive of. She’s a paper doll. A cardboard cutout. A stand-in for The Darkness that other characters can talk to and interact with.

We are not supposed to care about her character development. We’re not supposed to care about her  _as a person_ , because she isn’t a person. She is never going to be a person. And when I think about her storyline from that mindset, I LOVE IT TO BITS. So yeah, it might be unpopular to think of a female “villain” (because I don’t think of her as a villain either), the biggest big-bad in the history of the show, as a NON-PERSON, but really, that’s what she is.

 

 

[who is amara?](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/who-is-amara%3F) [possible unpopular opinion](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/possible-unpopular-opinion) [ever since i stopped trying to force her character into a human role i've enjoyed her as a character SO MUCH MORE](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/ever-since-i-stopped-trying-to-force-her-character-into-a-human-role-i%27ve-enjoyed-her-as-a-character-SO-MUCH-MORE) [and yeah it sucks that this badass female isn't destined for a redemption arc](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/and-yeah-it-sucks-that-this-badass-female-isn%27t-destined-for-a-redemption-arc) [but isn't it 100x more badass that she is the essence of unchanging primordial chaos and as such DOES NOT NEED A REDEMPTION ARC?](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/but-isn%27t-it-100x-more-badass-that-she-is-the-essence-of-unchanging-primordial-chaos-and-as-such-DOES-NOT-NEED-A-REDEMPTION-ARC%3F) [BECAUSE THERE IS NOTHING INHERENTLY WRONG WITH HER THAT NEEDS TO BE REDEEMED](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/BECAUSE-THERE-IS-NOTHING-INHERENTLY-WRONG-WITH-HER-THAT-NEEDS-TO-BE-REDEEMED) [she's simply out of place in creation because she's only one half of a whole](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/she%27s-simply-out-of-place-in-creation-because-she%27s-only-one-half-of-a-whole) [she is the essence of imbalance that needs to be reunited with her opposite half](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/she-is-the-essence-of-imbalance-that-needs-to-be-reunited-with-her-opposite-half)[which isn't redemption but balance](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/which-isn%27t-redemption-but-balance) [*mittens attempts to become one with the universe amid the sea of duality*](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/%2Amittens-attempts-to-become-one-with-the-universe-amid-the-sea-of-duality%2A)[Grand Unification Via Love Theory](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/Grand-Unification-Via-Love-Theory) [because yeah that's the endgame here even if amara's story isn't about redemption through love](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/because-yeah-that%27s-the-endgame-here-even-if-amara%27s-story-isn%27t-about-redemption-through-love) [it's about the unification though so the tag still fits](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/it%27s-about-the-unification-though-so-the-tag-still-fits)


	12. Chapter 12

[Feb 27, 2016](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/140112153375/this-is-the-alcohol-anon-again-i-guess-part-of-my)

15 notes

**Anonymous asked: This is the alcohol anon again--I guess part of my question stems from wondering if it means something to the character specifically or if they are trying to turn this into a more "family friendly"show. (My consideration of THAT possibility includes the scene in the wayward daughters episodes where the advice of wear a condom came up). I wonder if the shows been less violent or has had less swearing lately....I might need a rewatch. I love anon-ing you bc you give thoughtful meta/answers**

AH HI AGAIN! I just posted my original reply to you, and then immediately saw this question. :P

I don’t think Dean’s changing attitude toward alcohol is an attempt to make this a family friendly show. And I definitely don’t think the show’s become  _less violent_. I mean, my local affiliate deemed one of the murders in 11.13  _too graphic to show on tv_  and instead cut to a commercial break rather than air the scene of the husband’s heart being torn out, so… Yeah. Still plenty graphically violent.

A major theme of the show lately has been learning balance, in every sense of the word. They’ve been learning that it might be possible to keep hunting AND have a relationship/more normal/settled life. They ARE getting older, and all of this throwing themselves at apocalypse-level problems isn’t really a sustainable lifestyle. But both Sam and Dean have been shown to be at least contemplating what it might be like to grow old, to have something other than the life they’ve had since 1983. Something they’ve NEVER believed they’d live long enough to enjoy, but here they are, still alive, and hey, maybe  _just maybe they have a shot at it_.

The condom reference was made several times in 11.12, first at the dinner table, and then as a joking ha-ha moment that also served as a double-take kind of bi-Dean reference. Everyone wears a condom, Dean?  _EVERYONE?_  Alrighty then!

But at the dinner table scene (where DEAN DRANK WINE and I may have expressed some feelings about that already pffft), the condom discussion was all about Jody highlighting how parenting done right should look. Dean and Sam weren’t just speechless because the notion of talking about responsible condom use with a couple of teenage girls made them uncomfortable, but BECAUSE this kind of parenting and a slice of these sorts of “normal people problems” were something completely alien to them as a family.

Sure Dean probably had a few heart-to-heart sort of chats with Ben while he lived with Lisa, but Ben was what, 11? 12? His heart to hearts would’ve been really different, and likely didn’t include condoms. He was trying to keep Ben sheltered, after all.

So yeah, I don’t think they’re trying to tone the show down at all. Sam and Dean both are growing older, but they’re also trying to figure out what they really want in life, and beginning to consider that they may actually have a shot at achieving it.

Just like Harley, who after being offered everything he wanted on a silver platter (in exchange for his soul), seemed to have that moment of revelation, that NO, he truly believed he had the power inside him to reach his goals on his own, to win the title himself through his own hard work and perseverance. Likewise, I think the Winchesters are working their way toward their own endgame goals, and self-sacrifice and abusing themselves isn’t going to get them there.

And I’m glad you like asking me questions! I like answering them! :D

 

 

[spn 11.15](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-11.15) [spn 11.12](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-11.12) [should I call you the alcohol anon? is that weird?](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/should-I-call-you-the-alcohol-anon%3F-is-that-weird%3F) [the underling theme here seems to be balance and moderation](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/the-underling-theme-here-seems-to-be-balance-and-moderation) [which also goes nicely with all the unifying of the duality themes in the A plot. so i'll go ahead and tag this](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/which-also-goes-nicely-with-all-the-unifying-of-the-duality-themes-in-the-A-plot.-so-i%27ll-go-ahead-and-tag-this) [*mittens attempts to become one with the universe amid the sea of duality*](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/%2Amittens-attempts-to-become-one-with-the-universe-amid-the-sea-of-duality%2A) [Grand Unification Via Love Theory](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/Grand-Unification-Via-Love-Theory) [Anon](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/Anon)


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my thoughts added to commentary from tumblr users bluestar86 and lunaticfridgediva, which are included here for conversational context.

#  [11x02 - Curing the Virus and Stopping Amara…](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/140636665710/11x02-curing-the-virus-and-stopping-amara)

[Mar 7, 2016](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/140636665710/11x02-curing-the-virus-and-stopping-amara)

88 notes

[bluestar86](http://bluestar86.tumblr.com/post/140626908048):

> [lunaticfridgediva](http://lunaticfridgediva.tumblr.com/post/140623961451):
>
>> [bluestar86](http://bluestar86.tumblr.com/post/140591573628):
>>
>>> I am slowly making my way through a season 11 re-watch in this mini hiatus and I have just finished 11x2. After spending a short while just soaking up Sam’s brilliance in this episode a few things struck me that I wanted to put down into (admittedly a massive muddle of) words…
>>> 
>>> The virus that was unleashed in episode 1 behaves in strange ways, it is a shame that they never took this any further (so far) having Sam cure all the infected people at the end of 11x2. The main points I picked up on were that 1. It controls people and compels them to behave in a certain way and to do its bidding. 2. It infects some people far more quickly than others, and 3. It reacts to Holy Fire to the extent that Holy fire can purge and cleanse the infected of it completely.
>>> 
>>> Point 1. Establishes that the virus is an extension of the Darkness that escaped in episode 1. The infected do not act at random, they seem to have some drive or desire to find the baby Amara… All the infected flock to the hospital. So clearly they have a purpose, a group agenda where the darkness that has infected them is controlling them and compelling them to do its bidding. (To find and protect Amara as she grew perhaps?) They act violently towards others in order to either infect them as well or to get them out of the way, but they do not attack other infected people (the way the 3 infected people went to attack Sam only to walk away once realising he was also infected in 11x01.) We also know that the virus is whispering to people by the way it whispers to Sam to protect itself from the Holy Fire.
>>> 
>>> Point 2. We never get given a good reason as to why some people are infected quicker than others, so we can only speculate on this point, but if we accept that this virus is an extension of the Darkness itself, and we then relate that to the way Dean was ‘infected’ by the Mark of Cain, it is easy to assume that the darkness works by corrupting the soul, (we have the whole Cain story and Lucifer (the first bearer of the Mark) creating Demon’s out of corrupted human souls story to back us up here).
>>> 
>>> The way I see it, the more corruptible or easily swayed a human soul is, the faster the infection can get to you. This is also why I feel Sam was so difficult to take over, why he was able to resist for so long. Sam has a long history of viewing himself as impure, or unclean. The boy with the demon blood etc etc… but ultimately, he has shown more resistance to the dark forces than anyone else in all of supernaturals history. The chances are he was able to resist the virus for longer simply because he has spent his entire life trying to resist the darkness inside himself, making his soul possibly one of the strongest for resisting the whole ‘demonification’ process.
>>> 
>>> Finally, point 3. The cure being Holy Fire, ‘Biblical Purification’ (which I also think backs up my soul corruption theory once you consider the purified blood cure for demons) Holy fire (or holy light if you wanna draw further symbolism from it) is able to cure and purify the darkness just by getting close to it. The darkness was clearly ‘frightened’ by the holy fire judging by the way it whispered ‘No!’ and ‘Stop!’ to Sam when he brought the fire close to his skin.
>>> 
>>> When putting all of these points together, we have a virus that is clearly established as being an early form of the Darkness before it was able to take its true shape as Amara, It was able to infect people based on how easily it could corrupt their souls (its my theory and I’m sticking with it) and it was cured by Holy fire.
>>> 
>>> Basically, my point here is that episode 2 could have very well given us the biggest clue yet to how to stop Amara, and what I love about it is how it fits in so well with all of our other theories about how she will be stopped. The darkness is still something that latches onto the darkness in the human soul… Amara has taken a hold over Dean the same way the virus infected those people, just more subtly. The only thing that can stop her is some form of holy purification… Holy fire/ holy light… of which we got our other clue in 11x10. Angel grace alone may not be strong enough to stop her, but it did seem to make her sick… and purification via angelic grace? To a human soul perhaps? A human soul that is specifically bound to Amara? Especially when you consider that the angelic grace in question may have a little more oompf than the regular angelic grace… since it is favoured by God (confirmed in 11x10) and owned by an angel having ‘too much heart’? When you take into consideration other factors like the Colette parallel and that big gaping plot hole from season 8 regarding the angel fall spell being items specifically associated with love (except for the last one yeah right)… I think our grace cure is still very much on the table… and I still think that ‘power of love’ will be a huge part of how that grace cure plays out.
>> 
>> Angel blade doused in holy fire was the only thing I can think of after reading all this. 
>> 
>>   
> 
> 
> That’s a good idea… though I would hope it would be much more difficult than this! Sounds like something the show would do in order to make it less shippy tbh.
> 
> Every time a new bad guy comes along and ups the ante it’s just another fancy weapon… not that they’ve ever tried a fiery angel blade before which could look pretty cool… I would still hope it’s some sort of powerful spell involving holy fire and angel grace at this stage… even if all they can do is trap her again rather than kill her.

The s8 angel fall spell ingredients were frustratingly never mentioned, even in passing, after Crowley “confirmed” that the spell was irreversible. Strange how they all just took his word for it, when they refuse to accept the literal word of God as set-in-stone-truth, you know? Like, whelp, guess that’s Heaven done and dusted, what’s next on the list of things to break?

So, yeah, I have Issues with that, as well as the promise of everything in s10 from the title card to the entire MoC/Demon Dean storyline not playing out with some sort of cure for the MoC being related to grace. Then again, when they turned to the Dark Side and used the cure spell from the Book of the Damned and ended up releasing the Darkness, I could kind of understand. The whole Light vs Dark, balance of the universe stuff was being drawn out to cosmic proportions.

There have been SO MANY potential avenues laid down for them to explore for a potential resolution of the conflict with the Darkness that I almost don’t want to think about it. I think some theories are more likely than others, but I do admit I’m still stuck on the grace cure as my personal  _favorite_ , and the one I hope they use.

Billie’s warning to Sam from 11.02, repeated to Dean in 11.10, that their deaths now will mean permanent death, just doesn’t hold my interest. I love Billie, and I’m sure she’s going to have more of a part to play before this is over, but I’m 99.9% sure that her warning is an empty threat (get it? because she was going to toss them into the Empty? hur hur hur). Even Big Daddy Death couldn’t keep the Winchesters (or Castiel) off the game board. I don’t think Billie has a hope of doing what he couldn’t.

That brings me to all the references in s10 (starting even back in s9 with Magnus and expanding in s10 with the references to the MoL hoarding magical stuff, and the reason Magnus was expelled, because he wanted to USE the magic and not just lock it away) surrounding Sam and witchcraft. He was shown multiple times researching and performing various spells, alchemy, etc. (10.19 and the Werther box, anyone?)

In the end, he “hired” Rowena to carry out the actual spellwork, but Sam has been learning about it. I recall several metas that speculated Sam would use this knowledge to cure Dean of the Mark before the Darkness happened. Which ties in to Sam finding the Holy Oil cure in 11.02, as well. I’m still waiting for when all that spell study is going to pay off in some larger way in his search for some way to banish the Darkness.

I’ll state right out that I don’t think the solution to their problem is to “kill” the Darkness. I think it needs to be reunited with the light to restore balance, so I can’t really get behind any sort of “weapon” as being the tool they need to lay their hands on.

Speaking of hands, now we have the Hands of God, which produce insane amounts of light when activated. Like little chunks of anti-Darkness. They represent a really small-scale version of the solution to the Darkness, and also recall the premise behind the original meta speculating a grace cure for the Mark of Cain.

But there is the possibility of tying all of these theories together into a possible “cure” for all their problems. Thaumaturgy (in the Dresden Files definition of the word, where magic is worked on a small scale to affect change on the large scale. Think voodoo dolls here. Stick a pin in the doll, a man feels the pain.) There are three things currently happening that need resolution, and three possible “cures,” all tied to the notion that there is an imbalance that needs to be rectified (in the same sense that Dark Charlie needed to be reunified with Good Charlie in order to restore her to herself in 10.11, and yes I will continue harping on that episode FOREVER as the key (again hur hur hur) to solving all their problems). So I think they need all three of this crap (also a nice key-related reference to 6.15 there, right? Right? Shut up, pun haters. I’m hilarious.):

  1. Dean’s continuing “connection” to Amara/The Darkness needs to be purged, and the pure light of angel grace still seems like a viable cleansing agent to me.
  2. Amara’s physical form needs to be dealt with/destroyed, and the power of the Hand of God seems like a viable weapon to do the deed.
  3. The Darkness itself, of which Amara is only a mask or puppet– just a tiny scrap of the whole that can interact with Creation, needs to be joined with The Light (or God, to use the show’s own conventions for naming stuff). The ultimate goal would be to integrate the Darkness back into creation as a whole, correcting the “mistake” of locking her away at the dawn of creation.



I see Amara herself (which I started laying out [here](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/139920226080/why-do-ppl-even-like-amara-she-literally-hasnt)) as a sort of cosmic-sized voodoo doll, an avatar of something so far beyond human comprehension. I can’t remember at the moment, but maybe it was [@dustydreamsanddirtyscars](https://tmblr.co/m4J6yls3rYvF2fUHLnY_jJQ) who compared The Darkness/Amara/The Mark of Cain to God/Jesus/The Holy Spirit in terms of a trinity? I think I’ve even mentioned it in passing in the past. But that metaphor works for the whole thaumaturgy theory here. Affect the small scale to affect change on the large scale.

Gosh wouldn’t it be amazing if we got all of this? 

[spn 11.02](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-11.02) [spn s11 speculation](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-s11-speculation) [and now the darkness](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/and-now-the-darkness) [who is amara?](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/who-is-amara%3F) [sam fucking winchester](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/sam-fucking-winchester) [oh DEAN](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/oh-DEAN) [castiel winchester](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/castiel-winchester) [the hand of god](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/the-hand-of-god) [spn 6.15](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-6.15) [spn 10.11](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-10.11) [spn s9](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-s9) [*mittens attempts to become one with the universe amid the sea of duality*](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/%2Amittens-attempts-to-become-one-with-the-universe-amid-the-sea-of-duality%2A) [Grand Unification Via Love Theory](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/Grand-Unification-Via-Love-Theory) [and because of who I am as a person i should probably include](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/and-because-of-who-I-am-as-a-person-i-should-probably-include) [destiel](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/destiel) [just in case i'm giving a warning for SEVERAL BAD PUNS](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/just-in-case-i%27m-giving-a-warning-for-SEVERAL-BAD-PUNS) [no really shut up i'm hilarious](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/no-really-shut-up-i%27m-hilarious)


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a conversation with tumblr user midrashic

[Mar 14, 2016](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/141043061805/i-find-your-mary-winchester-meta-fascinating)

35 notes

**[mittensmorgul](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/) asked: I find your Mary Winchester meta fascinating. She's practically Canonized (in the religious sense) by Dean in his memories, which were probably largely influenced by John's reminiscences of her (because really how much memory does a nearly-5-year-old actually retain into adulthood? But also because the cupid in 5.14 confirmed it, they were a difficult job to get together, and I always wondered how much EITHER of them would've been interested in one another if not for Heaven's meddling? (1)**

[midrashic](http://midrashic.tumblr.com/post/141039220651):

> > (2) And you’re right, that the picture we have of Mary is likely a victim of the whole “story became the story” sort of polishing that becomes Dean’s modus operandi in relating uncomfortable things to Sam. It’s far easier to focus on the best things when knowing the worst wouldn’t change anything in the end. Mary and John’s fates were likely sealed before they were even born, considering Heaven’s plans for them and their children. :/ 
> 
> I AM SO GLAD you decided to use the phrase “canonize” because all of the half-written posts scattered around the various laptops i’ve broken about mary campbell potentially being a terrible person are all flagged with “not saint mary.” 
> 
> i 112% agree with all of this; the myth of the happy winchester family is, like most myths, something that we can only get at through all the competing dubiously true narratives we’re given to work with. it’d probably be a really great character exercise to look at what dean and sam respectively take away from their parents (like sam being surprised that their marriage wasn’t perfect, even though he’s a grown man and probably understands on at least the intellectual level that no marriage is perfect, and meanwhile sam is the one whose idea of romantic love is desperate and consuming and all-or-nothing), but also one for someone who has more time than i do at the moment lmao
> 
> the cupids are also interesting because cupids are, like, the micro-level of heavenly bureaucracy, and also the most fucked up level? they make people fall in love to breed heavenly weapons…how fucked up is that lmao, that perversion of romantic love is probably the most disturbing thing about the whole apocalypse for me (and then cupids  _still keep at it_  even after the apocalypse is over??? what the hell are those two guys in “sacrifice” hooking up for)

 

Oh gosh, I don’t want to touch what the cupids might be up to with a 10 foot pole.

Sam and Dean’s relative notions about romantic love, however…

Sam always had the story he was told about the Epic Romance of John and Mary. That was his fairy tale as a kid. Dean remembered enough about their arguments to know better, but he was also roped into selling the story for Sam. I think that was a big part of his reaction in 3.08, in one of the flashbacks where he yelled at Sam “don’t you ever talk about mom” and it just breaks my heart.

Dean wants to remember Mary in a certain way, and the reality conflicts with the story, and especially as a kid himself he would’ve had a hard time separating out the two. He’s obviously thought a lot about it on his own, and his feelings about romantic love have certainly evolved from there, from his admission to Sam in 5.16 that their marriage was only perfect after Mary died, his year trying to emulate that perfect marriage with Lisa after 5.22 and falling as far short of the ideal as his father did, all the way through his confession scene in 10.16 and his conversation with Sam about “something more with someone” in 11.04. He’s still trying to figure it all out, but he’s certainly getting closer.

I need to think about all this some more and probably cry about it all.

 

 

[spn 3.08](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-3.08) [spn 10.16](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-10.16) [spn 5.16](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-5.16) [spn 11.04](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-11.04) [and this is a big part of the love... and love](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/and-this-is-a-big-part-of-the-love...-and-love)[grand unification via love theory](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/grand-unification-via-love-theory) [sam fucking winchester](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/sam-fucking-winchester) [oh dean](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/oh-dean) [mary f. winchester](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/mary-f.-winchester)[filed away for further consideration when i don't have a blinding migraine](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/filed-away-for-further-consideration-when-i-don%27t-have-a-blinding-migraine)


	15. Chapter 15

[Mar 23, 2016](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/141584325360/analysisonfire-mittensmorgul-oh-my-god)

100 notes

[analysisonfire](http://analysisonfire.tumblr.com/post/141577930698):

> [mittensmorgul](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/141577764150):
>
>> OH MY GOD.
>> 
>> Dean: Come and get me you son of a bitch.
>> 
>> Bobby: Stay away from me you son of a bitch.
>> 
>> Subtle differences. Reliving the past, but improving on it, fixing the mistakes, righting wrongs.
> 
> I’m assuming you mean like ‘not running away from their issues’?

Not only not running away from their issues, but dismantling them piece by piece. The main plot arc has curved around on itself so many times over the years that there are multiple repeating patterns, but for the last few seasons especially, they aren’t just repeating those patterns the same old way (by fighting to be the first to throw themselves on the grenade).

Dean actually used words to explain to Sam what he’s been dealing with re: Amara, and took himself off the front lines in that battle rather than charging in again and failing again.

They’re approaching the Darkness situation from a position of caution and realism that we haven’t really seen since s5, before Dean got frustrated with that tactic and gave us this line:

He mocked the idea back then, just because they didn’t have all the right answers to their questions back then. In the end, they desperately applied an apocalypse band-aid in the shape of Sam Winchester flinging himself and Lucifer into the pit. They’re now getting a kind of second chance at making things right, a chance where THEY REALLY CAN SAVE EVERYONE. Because they really couldn’t before. But things are different this go-around.

Bobby and Rufus couldn’t figure out how Bobby and the other people were freed from the nest. Rufus’ sigil should’ve only trapped them there. It wasn’t until Dean showed up (to a nest that was described as existing outside of space and time) that he knew he had to pain the new sigil inside the nest to destroy it and free its captives (including sending bobby and the kid back to their own time). It’s still the same story, but it’s not still the same story.

 

 

[spn 11.16](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-11.16) [spn s11 spoilers](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-s11-spoilers) [Grand Unification Via Love Theory](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/Grand-Unification-Via-Love-Theory) [oh i have a nice collection of tags on this whole subject](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/oh-i-have-a-nice-collection-of-tags-on-this-whole-subject) [i love the idea that they will bring up these bits of their history in order to further subvert their destinies](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/i-love-the-idea-that-they-will-bring-up-these-bits-of-their-history-in-order-to-further-subvert-their-destinies) [*grumbles about wrestling demons and outrunning the past and stories that became the story*](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/%2Agrumbles-about-wrestling-demons-and-outrunning-the-past-and-stories-that-became-the-story%2A) [you can't outrun your past](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/you-can%27t-outrun-your-past) [because isn't that the largest theme of the season? You can't outrun your past and you have to live with your choices](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/because-isn%27t-that-the-largest-theme-of-the-season%3F-You-can%27t-outrun-your-past-and-you-have-to-live-with-your-choices)


	16. Chapter 16

[Apr 12, 2016](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/142690920090/i-have-no-idea-if-it-was-intentional-or-not-or-if)

92 notes

I have no idea if it was intentional or not, or if it means anything or not, but I’m rewatchinng 10.02 right now, and Hannah went to see Metatron to demand he give back Castiel’s original grace. Metatron replied with, “Everybody wants something. Question is, are you willing to pay for it? Are you willing to…I don’t know – let me out?”

He’d implied that there was still a bit of Cas’s grace out there somewhere, and he was treating it as some sort of bargaining chip for his freedom. He’d suggested he just wanted to be let out of is cage, and promised he’d “scamper off to another planet,” and leave the Earth alone. Hannah still wouldn’t deal.

In 10.23, while bargaining for her own freedom since Sam had her in chains, Rowena agrees to kill something she loves in order to complete the spell to “free Dean from the mark.” She claimed there was nothing she truly loved, but Cas didn’t believe her. He said, “Everyone loves something.” (And I remember this line because it’s my blog title over on @mittenwraith)

Everyone wants something evolved into Everyone loves something over the course of s10, both in connection to buying their respective freedom. And that’s what ended up setting the Darkness free, a spell that required the destruction of love.

It wasn’t even the first time that the Mark of Cain had been tied to the destruction of love. That was its legacy from the moment Lucifer passed it to Cain with the condition that he kill his own brother in order to accept it.

From the very beginning, the Mark has been anti-Love. Amara suggested as much, in saying that she was betrayed by god when she was locked away. They’re all looking for a weapon that can defeat her now, something  _destructive_. But what if the “something” everyone wants can be achieved by the “something” everyone loves instead.

Okay, I just realized I’ve probably written this all out before ([x](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/141584325360/analysisonfire-mittensmorgul-oh-my-god), [x](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/140570731780/luv-ur-stuff-on-hiatus-rewatch-of-2-eps-wlots-of), [x](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/137891734065/deathbycoldopen-mittensmorgul-ive-run-into), [ah screw it here’s a link to the tag with like 50 posts on the subject](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/Grand%20Unification%20Via%20Love%20Theory)). S11 has been all about love, from Dean choosing NOT to sacrifice Sam in 10.23 all the way through Sam suggesting that Dean’s mission to save Cas from Lucifer is the “heart-choice,” rather than the smart choice. There hasn’t been a single episode in s11 that hasn’t addressed love in some way.

Okay that’s all. I’m done with my daily flailing now. :)

 

 

[spn s11 speculation](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-s11-speculation) [Grand Unification Via Love Theory](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/Grand-Unification-Via-Love-Theory) [*points in general direction of the handsy and grand unification tags*](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/%2Apoints-in-general-direction-of-the-handsy-and-grand-unification-tags%2A) [this post is mostly pointless rambling on my part but I just have such FEELINGS that they need some kind of an outlet](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/this-post-is-mostly-pointless-rambling-on-my-part-but-I-just-have-such-FEELINGS-that-they-need-some-kind-of-an-outlet) [this is mostly just a record of my personal breakdown over all of this](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/this-is-mostly-just-a-record-of-my-personal-breakdown-over-all-of-this) [i am rather a bit of a disaster today and it was brought on mostly by all of this *points at post*](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/i-am-rather-a-bit-of-a-disaster-today-and-it-was-brought-on-mostly-by-all-of-this-%2Apoints-at-post%2A) [okay shutting up now](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/okay-shutting-up-now)


	17. Chapter 17

Apr 9, 2016

220 notes

**Anonymous asked: This is what Cas was watching in the bunker. Firesign theater Don't touch that dwarf: hand me the pliers. Deacon: "Is it going to be all right?"Congregation: "It's going to be all right!!Deacon: "You bet, dear friends, it's going to be all right tonight, here at the Powerhouse Church of the Presumptuous Assumption of the Blinding Light."Soloist: "Oh blinding light,oh light that blinds,I cannot see,look out for me."**

[miss-devonaire](https://miss-devonaire.tumblr.com/post/142526500178/this-is-what-cas-was-watching-in-the-bunker):

> [mittensmorgul](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/142481864275/this-is-what-cas-was-watching-in-the-bunker):
>
>> [eliciaforever](http://eliciaforever.tumblr.com/post/142411635587/this-is-what-cas-was-watching-in-the-bunker):
>>
>>> [eliciaforever](http://eliciaforever.tumblr.com/post/142411219382/this-is-what-cas-was-watching-in-the-bunker):
>>>
>>>> [mittensmorgul](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/142409874365/this-is-what-cas-was-watching-in-the-bunker):
>>>>
>>>>> Well, that’s some really interesting information there! I couldn’t really make out what he was listening to, so thank you!
>>>>> 
>>>>> [Firesign Theater](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Ffiresigntheatre.com%2Findex.php&t=NjZhNGZjZjg1MzAwNzJiYTBkMTQyNzU2MzdlNjdmOGUyMDQ1ODQ1YSwwM0NEUHIzbA%3D%3D&b=t%3AgQ2jjt29OviG-kJJpyAysQ&p=http%3A%2F%2Fmittensmorgul.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F142538640555%2Fthis-is-what-cas-was-watching-in-the-bunker&m=1) is an interesting little troupe! But yeah, that’s quite the bit of dialogue for Cas to be hugging to his chest. I love the people responsible for that.
>>>>> 
>>>>> I’m throwing this out there for anyone more familiar with Firesign Theater to meta on, but I think the quote itself is pretty darn on-the-nose.
>>>> 
>>>> Holy shit I didn’t realize this is what he was listening to. Firesign Theatre is super old school, and Don’t Crush That Dwarf is one of their most famous albums. DANG SUPERNATURAL.
>>>> 
>>>> I don’t know if you’ve ever listened to FT, but they’re like drug trips. They’re really surreal with a lot of satire in them and what sounds like a lot of stream of consciousness, but it ends up being really clever. Dwarf is about a guy stuck in his room, listening to the radio and switching between channels, and it’s like… he’s hungry, but he can’t find food, and he can’t get out. So he listens to the sermon from the Powerhouse, and that’s what “feeds” him. And I think at one point he switches to a war broadcast, and there’s something about a high school movie. He’s like a child star or something. I can’t remember.
>>>> 
>>>> My point is, I can’t believe they picked that for that scene, but they could not have picked anything better. One of the characters is named Casman. I mean.
>>> 
>>> Here’s the first part. This is classic FT, so it will seem nonsensical and scattered, and the satire is very early 70s and it might be hard to get for younger generations, but you have to kind of just go with it. Think Robert Altman/MASH/Animal House/scathingly anti-war.
>>> 
>>> Around 8:00 he starts looking for food.
>>> 
>>> Part 2 is on Youtube, and that’s when he starts freaking out about how he’ll never escape. That’s when most of the war stuff is.
>> 
>> Well that sounds like it sums up Cas’s situation quite tidily then. SOMEONE HAND ME THE PLIERS SO I CAN USE THEM TO YANK LUCIFER OUT AND BRING CAS A CHEESEBURGER AND A BLANKET PLEASE.
> 
> You guys are incredible. I’ve been asking what the heck Cas was listening to for days and everyone just assumed they created it on set for this episode. It felt too organic for that, but no one could find the reference.
> 
> And here you guys are, meta-ing the shit out of it! 
> 
> “Powerhouse Church of the Presumptuous Assumption of the Blinding Light” 
> 
> Presumptuous Assumption. Yea, this describes Cas too well. It’s one more piece in this season’s overarching theme that Cas is important to the Winchesters, Cas is family, and the Bunker is his home. He makes the presumptuous assumption he is expendable based on the words of one lower angel. I, for one, am really looking forward to the natural culmination of this plot: Cas’s face when he realizes he is the  _ **opposite**_ of expendable. He’s one of a kind.
> 
> I also want to point out that this is at least the second time Cas has been associated with a kitchen when not in his right mind. When he’s trying to help. When he was Crazy!Cas, his way of helping was to make them food they could eat that wasn’t tainted. This time, it’s a metaphorical kitchen as he tries to help by allowing Luci to use his vessel. 

Gosh I feel like the weird vessel this entire bit of meta is happening within… my brain hurts. :D

Anyway, one last point on it from my end (and THANK YOU to everyone involved in this again):

Cas is watching this on a television. Firesign Theater is a  _radio show_. I.e., no pictures. But he’s  _watching it on a television_.

He’s got his media all mixed up in there. Like maybe Luci is interfering with his angel radio reception, cut off his ability to perceive the world around him like he obviously still could when he broke free to save Sam, and this is what he’s left with.

Source: [mittensmorgul](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/142409874365/this-is-what-cas-was-watching-in-the-bunker)

Reblogged from [miss-devonaire](https://miss-devonaire.tumblr.com/post/142526500178/this-is-what-cas-was-watching-in-the-bunker)

 

 

[spn 11.18](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-11.18) [castiel winchester](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/castiel-winchester) [firesign theater](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/firesign-theater)


	18. Chapter 18

[Apr 19, 2016](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/143068461900/hello-i-saw-your-post-about-love-and-how-you)

5 notes

**[quincygrace](http://quincygrace.tumblr.com/) asked: Hello! I saw your post about love, and how you think that may be the key to defeating the Darkness. You gave all of these examples about it. I tried to find the original post, but I couldn't so I thought I'd just drop in and say that love was also the only thing that calmed the Mark down when Cain had it for all those years - his love for Colette. So we already have a precedent of love being stronger.**

Hi there! I’ve made so many posts about love that I’m not even sure which one you’re referring to, but [this was the first thing](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/137891734065/deathbycoldopen-mittensmorgul-ive-run-into) I had listed in my [Grand Unification tag](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/Grand%20Unification%20Via%20Love%20Theory). And prior to that I used the [love and heartbreak and love tag](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/here-have-my-belated-thoughts-on-the-whole-love...-and-love) here. And all of it is at least somewhat relevant to the [duality ](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/%2Amittens-attempts-to-become-one-with-the-universe-amid-the-sea-of-duality%2A)themes as well.

Maybe you were thinking of [this post](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/137695643380/final-thoughts-on-the-hiatus) from the midseason hiatus? Like I said, it’s been an ongoing theme around here >.>

Regardless, The [Weight of the World Is Love](http://thevioletcaptain.tumblr.com/post/80028018892/the-weight-of-the-world-is-love-masterpost) masterpost by [@thevioletcaptain](https://tmblr.co/mkrTGi1U6K9-kgo9KV69Itw) is an excellent start on how they set up the love themes in s8 and s9.

I tried to go about organizing everything into the same sort of masterpost for s10 and s11, but  _there is just too much_. TOO MUCH HEART WAS ALWAYS THE PROBLEM HERE TOO.

So instead I’ve just got all these flaily-tags to point to and hope that’s good enough for now. :P

 

 

[Grand Unification via Love Theory](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/Grand-Unification-via-Love-Theory) [as I write this I'm watching 11.01 and Cas just called Dean and said goodbye](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/as-I-write-this-I%27m-watching-11.01-and-Cas-just-called-Dean-and-said-goodbye) [and my heart hurts but then I think about all the love stuff and i feel better](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/and-my-heart-hurts-but-then-I-think-about-all-the-love-stuff-and-i-feel-better) [so thanks! :D](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/so-thanks%21-%3AD) [quincygrace](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/quincygrace)


	19. Chapter 19

#  [Dark Stuff vs THE Darkness](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/124262777795/dark-stuff-vs-the-darkness)

[Jul 16, 2015](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/124262777795/dark-stuff-vs-the-darkness)

8 notes

I can’t help wondering what is in store for us now that the primordial, pre-biblical darkness has been released. It’s led me to a lot of weird musings on pre-Christian religions, as well as more scientific analysis of the beginnings of the universe. I’ve pondered how Death’s explanation of how the Darkness came to be locked up, in a final battle against God and the Archangels, before the rest of creation could be brought into existence.

But now I’m thinking about all the “dark stuff” that still exists, all around us, unseen and unperceived except through indirect observation, and I might be obsessing a little bit about how this might relate to Supernatural and S11.

I’ve read interpretations (including some lovely and haunting fanfics, including [This One](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Farchiveofourown.org%2Fworks%2F4347014&t=MmNhOWUxOTBmMGNmNzU4MWZjNTYxNWZlZGJmYTIxYzk1NmE1NDQ2MyxsV3o3QllxTA%3D%3D&b=t%3AgQ2jjt29OviG-kJJpyAysQ&p=http%3A%2F%2Fmittensmorgul.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F124262777795%2Fdark-stuff-vs-the-darkness&m=1) by [littlehollyleaf](http://tmblr.co/mj93d7p0vQfWxEHowMHZeUQ)) of the Darkness as being a literal inky blackness that devours the light. But it got me thinking. I am a total physics nerd, so please bear with me while I set forth the data that is the foundation of my current obsession. *warning: possibly science-adjacent content ahead*

The universe is composed of stuff we can see, touch, feel, taste,  _sense_ , and  _interact with_. We see the light of distant stars and smell the flowers and hear the birds chirping. It seems like there’s a lot of stuff in the universe, right? Sure. We can experience it, and it’s a pretty large kind of place.

But all that  _stuff?_ It accounts for about 4% of EVERYTHING. The other 96% of what exists? We can’t see, sense, feel, or perceive it directly. We only know it’s actually there because of the way it causes the stuff we CAN sense to behave. The vast majority of what makes up the entirety of creation is literally dark, and science has dubbed it “dark energy” and “dark matter.” IT IS LITERALLY EVERYWHERE and we have no way to observe it directly, despite the fact that we just know it’s there.

It’s not an “evil” force, or a “destructive” force. It just  _is_. In fact, the concept of “dark energy” was first theorized as an explanation why the universe is continuing to expand and grow, rather than collapsing back in on itself under the force of its own gravity. It is quite literally “anti-gravity.” It’s the slippery stuff that counteracts the natural attraction of gravity and keeps the universe not only in balance, but constantly expanding. *giggles at the notion of the universe being slathered in cosmic lube*

“Dark matter” makes up more the a quarter of the universe on its own, and the only reason we know it’s there at all is because it bends light and absorbs radiation that passes through it. It’s otherwise unobservable, so far. Science hasn’t figured out how to explain it yet. I glanced over [this article from NASA](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Fscience.nasa.gov%2Fastrophysics%2Ffocus-areas%2Fwhat-is-dark-energy%2F&t=Zjk0ZTlkMzE1ZmM3NTNkMTEzMjRkNTZmZmFiMDk1ZmUyMzdhZGJhZCxsV3o3QllxTA%3D%3D&b=t%3AgQ2jjt29OviG-kJJpyAysQ&p=http%3A%2F%2Fmittensmorgul.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F124262777795%2Fdark-stuff-vs-the-darkness&m=1) while writing this up, and chuckled anew at the theories of what dark matter could be composed of, namely “MACHOs” (aka massive compact halo objects)   and “WIMPS.” I just chuckled about the Massive Compact Halo Object on Supernatural we’re most familiar with.*

Okay, moving on from the science portion of this meta and back to the Supernatural.

The Darkness has been released. But hasn’t this show always been about stuff that most people don’t perceive in their daily lives? The supernatural has always been presented on the show as something most people in the show’s universe live their lives in complete, blissful ignorance of. Weird stuff happens, hunters take care of it and cover it up, and life, for the most part, goes on unaffected. It’s unseen and unobserved by the vast majority of society. But there still seems to be an  _awful lot_  of it, you know? It’s kept hunters, Men of Letters, and the like busy for generations, perhaps since the dawn of time.

Perhaps “releasing the Darkness” will somehow just make this formerly invisible, undetectable stuff obvious to the rest of the population? Like, it’s always  _been there_ , it’s a constant of the universe that even Einstein tried to account for in his theories, but it’s been too slippery for us to actually observe and define. It’s something we just can’t explain. It’s too much, too big, and too foreign for us to grasp and comprehend. Just like all the supernatural stuff on the show is to most of the people who have an unexplained brush with it.

People have a tendency to dismiss weird shit they can’t explain. In the Supernatural universe, the majority of the population lived through the almost-apocalypse, the Leviathan, the angel fall event, and everything else, and seem to have moved on from it just fine. The world keeps turning, and humanity seems largely unaffected by it all.

I’ve been wondering if the Darkness being unleashed will simply shift that perception, and rather than be able to dismiss the weirdness as a shadow glimpsed out of the corner of their eye and then immediately forgotten, if somehow now that other layer of reality will be laid bare, unable to hide just out of sight any longer.

I’ve also wondered if this is why Rowena’s power level seems to have grown exponentially since she completed that spell. Has she somehow found a way to tap into the 67% of the universe that is Dark Energy? Powered up by plugging her magic directly into that vast store of cosmic lube? *undignified snorting*

Well, it’s something to ponder anyway.

Profuse apologies for this rambling bout of extreme nerdery.

 

 

[spn s11 speculation](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-s11-speculation) [the darkness as dark matter and dark energy](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/the-darkness-as-dark-matter-and-dark-energy) [spn meta-ish](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-meta-ish) [i never in a billion years would've thought i'd quote einstein and nasa in a supernatural meta](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/i-never-in-a-billion-years-would%27ve-thought-i%27d-quote-einstein-and-nasa-in-a-supernatural-meta) [but here it is i've done it](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/but-here-it-is-i%27ve-done-it) [i've also compared the darkness to lube so there you go](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/i%27ve-also-compared-the-darkness-to-lube-so-there-you-go) [totally srs bsnss here yes i am calling this 100% science pffft](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/totally-srs-bsnss-here-yes-i-am-calling-this-100%25-science-pffft)


	20. Chapter 20

[Nov 11, 2015](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/133048280290/the-darkness-and-god-are-being-represented-as)

5 notes

The Darkness and God are being represented as siblings (albeit with no parents, they just popped into existence). They didn’t come into being independent of one another. They came from the same source.

*insane theories relating the origins of SPN creation back to the big bang theory*

*sad attempts to work through all these thoughts this late at night while still pondering WHY WE WEREN’T INFORMED WHETHER CAS GOT HIS CAR BACK*

So obviously my deep thoughts will have to wait until tomorrow. But I’ve [already](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/119947340790/supernatural-the-darkness-god-death-lucifer) [been](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/120370171745/s11-darkness-and-light) [thinking](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/119696413550/rowenas-shopping-list) [about](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/131300382250/older-than-souls) [this](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/130338999530/well-always-end-up-here) A LOT. [BUT ESPECIALLY IN THIS POST RIGHT HERE.](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/124262777795/dark-stuff-vs-the-darkness) (that last link there is the actual physics-laced crackpottery I forgot all about and then spent 45 minutes trying to find again when I remembered it) (for some reason I only remember it as the post I tagged # [i never in a billion years would’ve thought i’d quote einstein and nasa in a supernatural meta](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/i-never-in-a-billion-years-would%27ve-thought-i%27d-quote-einstein-and-nasa-in-a-supernatural-meta) # [but here it is i’ve done it](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/but-here-it-is-i%27ve-done-it)  [i’ve also compared the darkness to lube so there you go](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/i%27ve-also-compared-the-darkness-to-lube-so-there-you-go) [totally srs bsnss here yes i am calling this 100% science pffft](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/totally-srs-bsnss-here-yes-i-am-calling-this-100%25-science-pffft), just so you all know what you’re in for if you click that link.

And for kicks, if you actually made it through the crackpot physics post, [I enjoyed my tags on this post ](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/119529391305/wow-okay-i-just-rewatched-spn-1023-and-i-got-a)while searching for the other post, and I’m still waiting for the scenario they presented to become canon. I’ll wait.

 

 

[spn 11.06](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-11.06) [spn s11 spoilers](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-s11-spoilers) [but more about how the show is actually addressing the origins of the universe and how nicely it fits in with my ongoing duality theories](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/but-more-about-how-the-show-is-actually-addressing-the-origins-of-the-universe-and-how-nicely-it-fits-in-with-my-ongoing-duality-theories) [i never in a billion years would've thought i'd quote einstein and nasa in a supernatural meta](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/i-never-in-a-billion-years-would%27ve-thought-i%27d-quote-einstein-and-nasa-in-a-supernatural-meta) [totally srs bsnss here yes i am calling this 100% science pffft](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/totally-srs-bsnss-here-yes-i-am-calling-this-100%25-science-pffft) [but no really some of it actually is science (sort of)](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/but-no-really-some-of-it-actually-is-science-%28sort-of%29) [this is the sort of post that happens when mittens doesn't sleep](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/this-is-the-sort-of-post-that-happens-when-mittens-doesn%27t-sleep) [bless y'all you're good eggs for putting up with me i hope you're all okay out there](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/bless-y%27all-you%27re-good-eggs-for-putting-up-with-me-i-hope-you%27re-all-okay-out-there)


	21. Chapter 21

[May 20, 2016](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/144654691340/hello-again-i-hope-you-dont-mind-me-running-my)

22 notes

Hello again, I hope you don’t mind me running my thoughts by you as you’ve been apparently flooded by messages. But I just really enjoy your positive and comprehensive view on things.

So I caught up on the episode (which I enjoyed btw) and besides being really emotional confused I am also confused about what kind of choices we have left. I really liked your idea of Amara and God being the dark and light side of one character (God cutting her out like Charlie her dark side), needing to be united in order to bring balance. That didn’t even occur to me. I also strongly believe that the solution of this whole mess, lies within the hand of Amara and Chuck and not the Winchesters or other being of creation. For me it focuses especially on Chucks need to take up responsibility. The thing you said about the mark? I was actually think something along the same lines as I was watching the episode. Why should Sam take the mark if neither Lucifer nor Dean managed to bear it? Shouldn’t it be god, the most powerful and “light” being? Especially since he is looking his sister up, and therefore take the responsibility and burden himself with the consequences. But no, it’s as if he’s learned nothing at all.

For saving creation, I as of now can see two possible solutions:

  1. God is dying. So basically the universe is going to be off balance (same as if they would have killed Amara, which was therefore a nono) and implode, fade to nothingness whatever. God had been addressing the presence of another being when there was just the two of them, the need of creation needing to be born and claiming that Amara could feel it too. We are also left with the statement that light needs darkness to exist and with the fact that the “light” is dying. So how about taking both of them out now? Having neither would bring as much balance as having both would. Here I see the two possibilities of: a) either TFW killing Amara, and ridding themselves of both higher being that see creation merely as playfield or b) Amara actually sacrificing herself in order to bring balance and save creation because she indeed feel the special presence/need/whatever god referred to. I could see the whole “Bond” thing going on between her and Dean being of relevance here. But given I only had the chance to watch the episode once I’m guessing I’m missing some major facts because taking them both out seems a way too easy solution and kind of bordering in destroying everything that ever was instead of saving creation ….
  2. And this has been what I am quietly rooting for: Why not lock them both up? As far as I understood Amaras biggest problem wasn’t that she was locked up but that she had been kept alone and I think it’s fair to agree being kept isolated is much more of a torture than “just” being locked up.  I actually always enjoyed that about Amara’s character because right from the start I always kind of got her motivation because she was simply really pissed at her brother. Now while talking to Chuck she especially emphasized the aspect of being alone in the cage and that before creation they had loved each other and were equals. Given there were only the two of them, to Amara being alone is not the absence of the presence of other beings (which were not existent) but the lack of being with her brother. She was ready to die, being pretty defeated, until the moment she realized she was about to be put back in the cage and had to face a potential eternity of being alone. Saying something along the line of “I would rather die, or kill you a thousand times than go back in that cage”. Now there is this aspect of creation needing to be born of being more than just Chuck’s need to be great, which Amara might or might not feel. So I’d actually like them both to realize that creation is kind of greater than themselves and safe worthy and needing to preserve both light and darkness in order for it to exist but also being a risk to it, God offer to accompany Amara to the cage. Creation and nature would again be free and Amara and God could go on existing solely in each other presence (meaning not alone) as equals. Neither greater that the others like before the beginning of time. – But there is the issue of God currently dying … which would leave Amara alone again. So maybe not.



What a mess. Well I can’t wait for the final and see how it gets resolved – or not – and with what kind of new force/cliffhanger were left. Have a fantastic day!

***

Hi there! And thanks! The inbox seems to have quieted down, and I always like to hear interesting theories. With only one episode left to speculate on, there’s not much more show to cram various possibilities into, so speculation is a lot more narrow. Less chance of being widely off the mark, so to speak.. :D

Yeah, since Chuck said killing Amara is not an option and Lucifer backed that up, I’m still attached to any and all theories that either take both her and Chuck off the playing field once and for all, or that unify them to restore the balance. Anything else, so we’ve been told, will tear the universe apart, and that doesn’t seem like a solid footing for moving forward in s12. Gotta have a universe to set the show in, after all. :D

Back in 11.20 when he’s talking to Metatron, giving the whole “being and nothingness” speech, to me it sounded like he was implying that this is far from the first universe he’s created only for her to destroy it before it really got a chance to grow. It sounded like, of all his universes, this may be the first one to get anywhere CLOSE to this far along, because she was locked away and prevented from destroying it.

And again, this is where I have a hard time thinking about Chuck and Amara as anything remotely like “people.” They’re huge universal forces. We kinda like Chuck because he’s responsible for the fact that we’re even here to appreciate this universe, and we kinda don’t like Amara because her only purpose for being is to tear it all down, but stepping back, they’re really not all that different.

And this is where Mittens gets all ~weird~ for a second (warning, SCIENCE):

There are several theories for how the universe will end in our real reality (not on Supernatural, but I think they are writing the story with an awareness of this, since they ARE writing about potential universe-ending scenarios, makes sense to at least KNOW what astrophysicists have to say about the subject). Most of these postulations will become more or less likely to happen as we learn more about a HUGE component of the universe that we’re just discovering and only beginning to be able to study: Dark energy.

(yeah, that’s why I said I really think the spn writers have at least a tangential awareness of these potential models for the end of the universe. When the wobbly factor in your calculations is a force you only just learned about in the last 20 years, and we’re still not sure  _how_  it’s affecting the universe as a whole, the possibilities for what it may do in the future are up in the air) (oh gosh please don’t hate me for all the bad puns)

It was first believed that Dark Energy may be slowing the expansion of the universe (the suggestion was that eventually it would cause EVERYTHING to collapse back down into an “opposite of the big bang” event, called the Big Crunch, which is still a possibility if Dark Energy becomes WEAKER over time). It’s since been thought to actually be  _accelerating_  the expansion, so instead of getting all compacted back together the universe might expand into a cold, endless void (if Dark Energy becomes STRONGER over time). Galaxies would be pulled apart and (if anyone was actually alive to see it) the sky would be an empty nothingness devoid of stars (they’d all just be too far away for us to even see them anymore, before they all finally burned out).

So both of these Actual Science Things describe the same sort of power imbalance between all the STUFF in the universe (i.e. Creation) and the Dark Energy we CAN’T see/feel/experience (i.e. The Darkness, or the absence of being).

***okay end of the sciency-ish stuff, back to Supernatural***

This is why I can’t see any possible solution to the current state of imbalance between Chuck and Amara that doesn’t allow for the universe to continue. Either they both have to go (as representational of allowing the universe to remain as it is, growing or contracting naturally without interference from either of them), or they have to be brought together (eliminating the imbalance because they’re working together to maintain balance).

If one of them “dies” then the other would necessarily ALSO have to “die.”

And this is what I’ve been theorizing for nearly a year now. [I wrote my original speculation on it last May](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/144537719180/supernatural-the-darkness-god-death-lucifer).

The two of them going off together into whatever cage Chuck had made for Amara in the first place could be one solution.

CHUCK taking the Mark on HIMSELF (thereby reuniting them without a proxy standing between them) could be another possible solution, since he’s theoretically the only being powerful enough to contain and counteract her. And [I put forward the other day](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/144609519920/grand-reunification-indeed) the speculation that she may have originally been half of him, and the original split that divided them may have been the act that actually began creation as we know it.

Again, yeah, I really have a hard time thinking of them as “people.” Which I think is why it bugs me so much that Sam keeps making the sorts of comments he has, like this exchange:

> **Chuck** : you have to understand this about the Darkness – she’s relentless, a force beyond human comprehension. It’s the only reason I came off the sidelines.  
>  **Sam** : Must have been great being her brother, huh?  
>  **Chuck** : It was the worst. Always telling me what to do, making me do what she wanted. I mean, you guys know how that works.

I mean, Chuck plays along with it, but in the first line HE LITERALLY SAYS SHE’S A FORCE BEYOND HUMAN COMPREHENSION. And therefore, so is Chuck. He’s just tucked into this cute lil package play-acting a friendly human person. So is she. And then Chuck reduces it into this sibling rivalry joke, and turns it around on Sam and Dean’s own experience as brothers. It’s unsettlingly  _wrong_  somehow, and sets my teeth on edge. AND I LOVE IT.

Gosh Rob’s doing a great job bringing that element to the character, these fleeting glimpses behind the Chuck mask at what essentially amounts to the creation engine of the entire universe. It’s SO CREEPY!

And Dean REALLY gets it. He lived with the Darkness crammed inside himself for OVER A YEAR. He knows what it feels like, and he’s under far fewer illusions about the potential power it contains. And again, I’ll bring up my favorite line of his about it from 11.19:

> **Dean:**  I’ve been with Amara. Her beef is with the big guys – with God, with Lucifer. The small fries, even an angel like Cas, doesn’t even register. And if it meant hurting Lucifer, killing Cas would mean nothing to her.

Dean understands, to a certain extent. Chuck and Amara are using the contrivance of humanity as a mask. THEY ARE NOT PEOPLE. Their spats aren’t actually petty jealousies, or kicking each other’s block tower over, or forcing her brother to play Barbies instead of race cars. There is ONE thing we have been told outright that they do understand, though: Love.

I’m not talking about human romantic love (obviously neither of them has had much go right in that department. Chuck seems to have trouble forming long-term attachments, and Amara’s super clingy-creepy-noncon about it), but they understand that part of what connects them to each other is love. It’s just not a kind of love that people can really comprehend. Because, again,  _they are not people_.

I’ve been thinking about the love between them as some sort of universal constant, like gravity, that’s supposed to hold them in balance, but instead has been damaged because Chuck keeps locking Amara away, looking through his own creation for “something greater.” The direct implication in 11.22 that DEAN is in fact that “something greater” is both chilling and encouraging.

The fact that Dean has been, in his lifetime, both the Vessel of Heaven AND a bearer of the Mark of Cain may be exactly why he’s come to represent this balance to both Chuck and Amara. They see in HIM a small reflection of the unification of light and dark, and they’re both greedy for that balance, despite being unwilling to be reunited with their opposite half themselves.

Oh gosh, I’ve been describing Dean as a “pivot point” between them, or the “coin” for which Chuck and Amara are the opposite sides, but I like the metaphor the show applied to both Chuck and Amara in 11.20: Dean is a MIRROR being held up to both of them. They just need to be willing to stop staring into the mirror and seeing only their own reflection staring back and each of them, and look up and see the reality of the other.

 

 

[spn s11 speculation](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-s11-speculation) [spn 11.22](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-11.22) [spn 11.21](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-11.21) [spn 11.20](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-11.20) [spn 11.23 speculation](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-11.23-speculation) [i never in a billion years would've thought i'd quote einstein and nasa in a supernatural meta](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/i-never-in-a-billion-years-would%27ve-thought-i%27d-quote-einstein-and-nasa-in-a-supernatural-meta) [and i keep feeling compelled to explain my thoughts on how to 'defeat' the darkness in terms of physics](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/and-i-keep-feeling-compelled-to-explain-my-thoughts-on-how-to-%27defeat%27-the-darkness-in-terms-of-physics) [if you say 'mysterious ways' so help me i will kick your ass](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/if-you-say-%27mysterious-ways%27-so-help-me-i-will-kick-your-ass) [who is amara?](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/who-is-amara%3F) [*mittens attempts to become one with the universe amid the sea of duality*](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/%2Amittens-attempts-to-become-one-with-the-universe-amid-the-sea-of-duality%2A) [Grand Unification via Love Theory](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/Grand-Unification-via-Love-Theory) [my brain hurts](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/my-brain-hurts) [*wanders off to stare at a cloud*](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/%2Awanders-off-to-stare-at-a-cloud%2A)[submission](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/submission)


	22. Chapter 22

[Nov 5, 2016](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/152771229870/im-rewatching-s11-and-was-reminded-of-the-empty)

66 notes

**Anonymous asked: I'm rewatching s11 and was reminded of The Empty in the second episode. I really want to know more about it m. Do you think that's something that will be explored ever or is it a dropped storyline?**

Hi there! I know there are plenty of theories about what the Empty is, and quite a few of them do believe that it was a dropped and forgotten storyline, but I don’t quite think so myself.

I’ve written quite a bit about Billie the Reaper, Death, The Darkness, and the Empty and how I believed they were all very much connected in s11, but I’ll sum it up here.

I do believe that s10 had begun laying down a story about achieving balance that was partially abandoned in order to escalate the MoC storyline into a universe-correcting story about balance. The same story had to be mirrored out to include God and the Darkness and the origins of creation.

*side note that the whole Styne storyline as a vehicle for said expansion will eternally be my wtf sticking point with the show, and while I can sigh and shake my head about how that did bring us to the point where s11 could happen, that was as close to jumping the shark the show’s ever come for me personally*

From the moment we first heard about The Darkness as an entity contained by the Mark of Cain, from Death in 10.23, they’d won me back. Yeah I cringed at “The Darkness,” but I’d been onboard the train with the meta writers who’d been solidly expecting an angel grace-based cure for the Mark of Cain. When that didn’t come to pass, and we were given to understand what the Darkness was and how it was locked away, I knew there had to be something bigger than angel grace but of a similar ~substance~ to balance it.

I was still pointing and flailing at 10.11 as the key to everything, reuniting darkness and light in balance. And here we had Death describing this entity as primordial chaos and destruction, the opposite of light and creation, even from a purely mathematical and physics-based point of view. I wrote meta at the time about God and the Darkness being these polar opposite universal constants, and when the Darkness was locked away, an imbalance was created and we got the big bang. Without the darkness to keep the light in check, it could run wild. And it did.

After that revelation, I couldn’t quite look at Amara and Chuck as  _people_  anymore. Yes,

[Originally posted by just-me-and-the-tv](https://tmblr.co/Z8XBbt2622nuT)

But Chuck is just a sock puppet for God. He’d become so involved in  _playing_  Chuck and identifying as Chuck that he himself lost sight of the bigger picture. He’d wanted a front row seat to the Apocalypse, and seemed genuinely pleased (if surprised) that it was averted.

His ongoing policy of “do not interfere too much” seemed to be working. He kept pushing off the inevitable, dealing with his own choices that had led not only to the bounty of creation we’re enjoying here, but also to the vast universal imbalance that had brought us such fun times as the Apocalypse, the Leviathan (since that was a disaster a few orders of magnitude lower than releasing the Darkness but with a few key familiar details… a dark destructive force so all-consuming that an entire walled-off segment of reality had to be created to contain it for the good of the rest of the universe– Purgatory for the Leviathans, the Mark of Cain for the Darkness).

But on this larger scale, introducing a force that was, in essence, anti-creation into creation, and having watched how the Mark of Cain had all but destroyed Dean, had completely destroyed Cain, and had ultimately twisted Lucifer from The Lightbringer into the Prince of Darkness (I mean… come ON), I wasn’t sure that it was even metaphysically POSSIBLE to kill that force. This had become Too Big for old solutions to even apply here.

The narrative itself demanded they find another way here.

And the “other way” had already been hinted at. We KNEW what had been able to break through to Cain, what had enabled him to set aside the First Blade and live for 150 years in relative peace even with the Mark affecting him, and quite simply it was love. His love of Colette, and his promise to her.

I knew that love, and the final reunification of light and dark, two sides of the same coin, had to be the solution here.

Okay, that’s the setup. Here’s me trying to answer your question… :D

After Dean “killed” Death in 10.23, that particular vessel of Death may have disappeared, but the concept of death didn’t just stop happening. Whatever force of the universe that gave Death his power, that made him the embodiment of the Horseman of Death, cannot be destroyed. I believe that it passed to Billie.

She may have been just a reaper before, but for all intents and purposes, she had become Death.

The role of Death has always, by nature, been a functionary one. He never applied his own will to things, just maintained the natural order. He did, however, have a weird sort of fascination with Dean. I think he actually liked Dean. Whatever the case, he had a long history of doing whatever he could under the limitations of his own power to at least give Dean a fighting chance to fix things.

Back during the apocalypse Death was the one to give Dean the knowledge needed to use the Horsemen’s rings to open the Cage. He was the one in s6 who not only returned Sam’s soul, but 6.11 ALSO was the first episode where Dean was given a very vague lesson about the importance of the Natural Order being maintained, combined with an ominous but still-indecipherable hint about “The Souls, it’s all about the souls,” with regard to how Castiel was playing with fire and was in danger of being burnt for it.

He couldn’t just come out and tell Dean that Cas was trying to crack purgatory to pillage it for souls and their power, because the mere fact of telling him outright would’ve touched off a huge imbalance in the universe. But he gave Dean a cryptic key to figuring it out eventually, only it was too late to really do anything to help the situation. Death did try, though.

Applying that same sort of geas to Billie in s11 as the New Death, she also did what she could to warn all of Team Free Will about what they’d unleashed upon creation. Death’s “code word” during s6 was “the souls,” and Billie’s “code word” during s11 was “the Empty.”

After all, what is the Empty but exactly what Amara had been offering to Dean, tempting him with all season long? Becoming one with the Darkness. That was the Empty. That was the danger. That was the threat.

It also worked narratively as a metaphor for depression and hopelessness, established early in the season by Dean’s conversation with Len after Amara ate his soul. What Len was describing was the same sort of emptiness that Dean had felt under the influence of the Mark. It was the eternal adios, the annihilation of self, the end of pain but also the end of joy and love and hope and everything else. It was  _nothingness_.

Billie’s final lesson came in 11.17, where Dean learned his biggest lesson on the futility of self-sacrifice. That coin don’t spend anymore. What I firmly believe is that Billie was behind that entire lesson. Sam was literally dead on that floor for at least 6 hours before he took a breath and opened his eyes.

Billie’s lesson wasn’t about literally throwing them into the Empty, or Sam would’ve been the one talking to her while he was dead there. She just needed Dean to understand how to face the Darkness. It wasn’t through self-sacrifice. It was through facing the fundamental truth of the situation. Dean’s whole approach before that was to hand off the mission to Sam (from their conversation at the end of 11.13, where he admitted he was powerless in her presence). Well, Dean THOUGHT he was powerless in her presence because he was still tempted by that annihilation. His own guilt, his own depression, all of his issues made him powerless before her. She represented the ultimate end of his suffering.

When we next saw Billie, she was helping to fill Dean with the light and power of Humanity, with the souls of a few hundred thousand human beings.

Just like her entire season-long threat of the Empty was. Dean had learned the lesson. The soul bomb ended up being entirely irrelevant. He found another way. The power was inside him all along. It wasn’t a million souls set to self-destruct, it was LOVE.

It was unification. It was balance.

It’s not so much a “dropped” storyline so much as the underlying theme of all of s11. It served it’s narrative purpose.

*scrolls up and looks this whole thing over* Um, sorry I think I got a lil bit carried away again… :D

 

 

[Anonymous](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/Anonymous) [spn s11](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-s11) [billie the reaper](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/billie-the-reaper) [Death and his backup dancers doin the old razzle dazzle](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/Death-and-his-backup-dancers-doin-the-old-razzle-dazzle) [heaven hell purgatory and the empty](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/heaven-hell-purgatory-and-the-empty) [spn 6.11](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-6.11) [spn 10.11](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-10.11) [spn 11.02](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-11.02) [spn 11.13](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-11.13)[spn 11.17](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-11.17) [spn 11.23](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-11.23) [oh DEAN](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/oh-DEAN) [for further reading on the subject here's a few relevant tags where i've already written extensively on all these topics:](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/for-further-reading-on-the-subject-here%27s-a-few-relevant-tags-where-i%27ve-already-written-extensively-on-all-these-topics%3A) [Grand Unification via Love Theory](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/Grand-Unification-via-Love-Theory) [here have my belated thoughts on the whole love... and love](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/here-have-my-belated-thoughts-on-the-whole-love...-and-love) [order vs chaos and darkness vs light](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/order-vs-chaos-and-darkness-vs-light) [i never in a billion years would've thought i'd quote einstein and nasa in a supernatural meta](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/i-never-in-a-billion-years-would%27ve-thought-i%27d-quote-einstein-and-nasa-in-a-supernatural-meta) [but i'm still rolling around in Being and Nothingness here you'll have to pardon the dust left over from my spontaneous combustion](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/but-i%27m-still-rolling-around-in-Being-and-Nothingness-here-you%27ll-have-to-pardon-the-dust-left-over-from-my-spontaneous-combustion) [i should've made a sartre tag](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/i-should%27ve-made-a-sartre-tag) [sometimes i compare this show to einstein and sartre and sometimes it's all just looney tunes](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/sometimes-i-compare-this-show-to-einstein-and-sartre-and-sometimes-it%27s-all-just-looney-tunes) [charlie bradbury defense league](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/charlie-bradbury-defense-league) [which is why this always comes back around to oz](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/which-is-why-this-always-comes-back-around-to-oz)


	23. Chapter 23

Feb 28, 2017

8 notes

**Anonymous asked: For the whole soul thing, does everything in the universe work off soul energy? Is that why Amara had to eat so many when she first got out, because even if she had the potential for a lot of power, maybe Chuck has made it so the only way you can actually use it is if you have souls powering it. It would make sense, since Grace doesn't keep working if you're not connected to heaven (evidence: season 5), so angels and gods need souls. And most monsters I can think of were once human too.**

Hi there! I was inspired tonight to dive into my inbox, and I know this message has been here for a while, but I think it’s pretty interesting, so heck, why not try to answer it. :D

Everything in the universe does seem to work off SOME sort of energy… I mean post s10 right after the darkness was released and I started speculating on the whole duality thing, I made more than a few borderline crack posts trying to explain how I predicted s11 to go based on physics principles…

[i never in a billion years would’ve thought i’d quote einstein and nasa in a supernatural meta](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/i%20never%20in%20a%20billion%20years%20would've%20thought%20i'd%20quote%20einstein%20and%20nasa%20in%20a%20supernatural%20meta)

I have a tag for that.

I’ve also answered the question on why Cas lost power during s5… since he was the ONLY earthbound angel who seemed to lose power that way…

<http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/152901850595/what-do-you-think-since-heaven-is-closed-of-and>

And frankly, if the human souls in heaven aren’t acting as some sort of humongous battery (because I assume even a soul NOT directly tapped for power like Lily Sunder was chopping off bits to power her magic still gives off a “radiation” of power, and billions upon billions of them all stacked together would radiate… a megashitton of power just by existing in a controlled space), then what was the point of this device?

from [11.18](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Fscreencapped.net%2Ftv%2Fsupernatural%2Fdisplayimage.php%3Falbum%3D1724%26pid%3D1961537%23top_display_media&t=NzEyNThhN2E5YmVmYTM2YTMyYThlOWExZjI3ZGNiYjU0YWFiMzViMixjNUx4M256Qg%3D%3D&b=t%3AgQ2jjt29OviG-kJJpyAysQ&p=http%3A%2F%2Fmittensmorgul.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F157843769580%2Ffor-the-whole-soul-thing-does-everything-in-the&m=1)

 

 

[heaven hell purgatory and the empty](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/heaven-hell-purgatory-and-the-empty) [on the nature of angel grace](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/on-the-nature-of-angel-grace) [angels and souls](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/angels-and-souls) [check any of those tags for extensive further reading](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/check-any-of-those-tags-for-extensive-further-reading) [as well as the one linked above in the post](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/as-well-as-the-one-linked-above-in-the-post)[Anonymous](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/Anonymous)


	24. Chapter 24

#  [Is it foreshadowing?](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/143537849930/is-it-foreshadowing)

[Apr 28, 2016](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/143537849930/is-it-foreshadowing)

137 notes

I’ve seen a lot of meta pointing to incidents that have been built up all season indicating that Dean is headed for soullessness/possession/loss of control/an inevitable “death” or trip to the Empty as a result of the final showdown with the Darkness. But has all of that actually been foreshadowing? Or has it been– what the hell’s the opposite of foreshadowing. Backshadowing? Because these aren’t flashbacks, per se, but more like little object lessons for Dean to help him sort through his experiences and make sense of them, to learn from them, to stand back objectively and observe his own reactions to people experiencing things that he’s all too familiar with.

This season’s overarching theme has been “You can’t outrun your past.” Time and again, Dean’s been confronted with things and situations that are a direct callback to things from _his own past_. And I think we were told in the first half of the season that  _these references are not foreshadowing, but the exact opposite_.

This season’s all about inversion and subversion. Going all the way back to the beginning, not just of the Winchesters’ life story, but of the entire Grand Story of the Universe, not to set up the same ending we’ve always had, but to really, truly tear up the script and have a chance to do everything right this time.

Dean’s series of object lessons began the moment the Mark was removed from his arm, but the one that sticks with me most from early s11 was soulless!Len.

I remember watching 11.05, when half my dash was freaking out and screaming, because OBVIOUSLY that was implying that Amara had somehow eaten Dean’s soul. There was a general fear that Dean himself was actually soulless, and after everyone calmed down about it and accepted that Dean still had his soul, the general fear shifted to “Well then OBVIOUSLY that means Amara is GOING TO eat Dean’s soul! He’s in danger!” But I never once saw it that way. I didn’t see it as foreshadowing at all. It was Dean’s first huge object lesson.

What Len was describing about losing his soul, feeling empty, was what Dean had experienced  _while he had the Mark of Cain_. Something he experienced  _in the past_ , something he definitely hadn’t come to terms with. He was still struggling to accept and understand that whole last year and a half, overcome the guilt and horror of what he’d done, of what he’d become.

And in listening to Len, and seeing LEN come to terms with his new reality in a way very similar to how Dean had tried to deal with it during s10, Dean finally had the chance to not only accept and understand LEN, but to accept and understand what  _he had become himself_. He could forgive himself, and accept that he had done the best he could in the situation he’d made for himself, because he could understand and accept the exact same decisions that Len made for himself.

From that moment on, I haven’t looked at any of this “threat to Dean’s soul,” “threat of being tossed into the Empty,” or “threat of Dean becoming ‘one’ with Amara” stuff as foreshadowing at all. Because the show’s been telling us  _all season long_  that this isn’t about making sacrifices. This isn’t about the future. This is about going back and undoing mistakes and understanding  _the past_.

And NOT about making those exact same mistakes again.

So looking at 11.19 and the “obvious” threat to Dean that he will become possessed, become a (sex-crazed) monster trapped inside his own body, that some foreign force will overpower his identity… well, he’s already been there. Done that. Got the t-shirt hidden deep down in his closet. That was his time as a demon, which he’s never really come to terms with. Because he’s said he was “embarrassed” by everything he did during that time.

He  _hadn’t_  felt free to examine that part of his life. He and Crowley’s flicker albums were a point of  _shame_ , not something he wanted to go back and accept about himself. But now? He’s finding all sorts of acceptance, from two hunters who found happiness with each other, who overcame the shame and fear that they were made to feel in their past, and who fought their way free of their past demons. Literally.

Sam and Dean even began the hunt with the impression they were dealing with demons. Which Dean wrestled. Again. Gosh how many “demons” from his past has Dean been wrestling with this season? Literally he wrestled with a wrestling hero of his childhood who’d resigned himself to his fate as a demon when he gave up the fight and retired to hell. Dean couldn’t save him from the deal he’d made, just like Sam couldn’t save Dean from his own trip to hell at the end of s3. But he could give him forgiveness and at least a modicum of redemption at the end.

So yeah, I don’t personally read ANY of this as foreshadowing. Yeah, it’s a journey Dean’s on, but it’s not leading him back into all these situations from his past, it’s literally leading him back to the light, where he doesn’t have to run from any of this anymore. Where he can come to terms with everything in his life and find the better way.

To me, this season has been a long journey of “This is your life, Dean Winchester. Now what are you gonna do about it?” And hopefully, as actually foreshadowed in 11.18, he’s gonna use this new found understanding of himself to throw off the Darkness’s attempt to control him and make a different choice for himself.

 

 

[spn 11.19](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-11.19) [spn s11 spoilers](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-s11-spoilers) [spn 11.05](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-11.05) [spn 11.15](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-11.15) [oh DEAN](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/oh-DEAN) [spn 10.11](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-10.11) [because yeah that last line there is ALL ABOUT 10.11](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/because-yeah-that-last-line-there-is-ALL-ABOUT-10.11) [Grand Unification via Love Theory](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/Grand-Unification-via-Love-Theory) [how charlie had to accept her dark half back into herself and FORGIVE HERSELF for it and ACCEPT IT in order to be whole](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/how-charlie-had-to-accept-her-dark-half-back-into-herself-and-FORGIVE-HERSELF-for-it-and-ACCEPT-IT-in-order-to-be-whole) [and in order to move forward with her life and she wouldn't have been able to understand that without that chance she had](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/and-in-order-to-move-forward-with-her-life-and-she-wouldn%27t-have-been-able-to-understand-that-without-that-chance-she-had) [to step back and look at it all objectively which is exactly what dean's been presented with all season long](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/to-step-back-and-look-at-it-all-objectively-which-is-exactly-what-dean%27s-been-presented-with-all-season-long) [wild speculation hour with professor mittens](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/wild-speculation-hour-with-professor-mittens)


	25. Chapter 25

[Apr 29, 2016](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/143596237165/is-it-just-me-or-does-it-seem-like-theyre-laying)

126 notes

**Anonymous asked: Is it just me or does it seem like they're laying on the subtext bordering on text when it comes to desitle really heavily? Just a lot of it this season, especially here lately. I was thinking that the renewal would make them slow their pacing or change some things that might be too much too soon (though maybe they have and we just don't know) but they're still pretty full force with it. SPN usually introduces thought seeds tho so we can revisit them at a later time, but i'm still impressed.**

I am too. I can’t help but feel that they’re making it far more obvious this season than they have in the past. It might still be in the subtext, but it seems closer and closer to the surface.

They’ve been asking questions that have been set up since s8 in the subtext, but putting them into proper words and conversations now. For example (and these are just  _a few small examples off the top of my head and by no means a comprehensive list)_ :

  * s9 opens with “Who Do You Love?” as the season premiere “the road so far” segment music. Great, but that sets up a lot of vague love-related stuff that will eventually unfold on the show.
  * It becomes the “what would you do for the people you love?” season, with practically everyone having the “I did what I had to do” moment.
  * 9.02 has Dean saying he’s not about the love… and love
  * Metatron eventually delivers the iconic “this is a story of love and heartbreak… and love line in 9.18 (I think? Pretty sure).
  * Cas is repeatedly told by other angels that he’s not one of them, and asked what he really is. His loyalties are questioned at every turn.
  * S10 begins the “Save Dean” mission. It’s Sam’s turn to “do what he had to do” for Dean, with Cas in the passenger seat of the Save Dean Bus.
  * Dean begins expressing his desire to experience feelings and people differently, maybe even for the first time, but only within the sanctity and absolute anonymity of the confessional. He’s just beginning to be able to admit these things  _to himself_ , let alone to other people
  * Dean recognizes it was “the people who love me” who ground him in his humanity and pull him back from the edge
  * Cas subtly reminds Dean that he is one of the people Dean loves
  * Dean chooses life (in a pretty big metaphorical statement kind of way by actually killing Literal Death)
  * S11 starts out with a SAVE CAS mission (I mean there’s the darkness and the zompires but Dean’s still frantically running around that hospital trying to get out because OMG WE NEED TO SAVE CAS)
  * they do eventually save cas and have him safely tucked into the bunker (which dean considers “home”)
  * Sam and Dean use real actual words to discuss that ~not marriage but something, with someone who understands the life… a hunter maybe~
  * which dean still poopoos because he’s still not ready to admit that to anyone else. it’s not like he’s had a lot of quiet contemplative time since being freed from the Mark to even begin to consider that as a possibility yet
  * the back half of s11 has revolved around love. Every kind of love. Sibling love. Family love. Romantic love, heartbreak, loss, sacrifice, patience, and finally explicitly shows us those two hunters riding off into the sunset together after seven years hunting together as a married couple.



If nothing else, I see this as a slow progression that’s rapidly picking up speed as this snowball rolls down the mountain.

What is it with me and mountain metaphors today? idk but I’m going with it.

 

 

[spn s11 speculation](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-s11-speculation) [destiel](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/destiel) [dean winchester is bilingual](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/dean-winchester-is-bilingual) [grand unification via love theory](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/grand-unification-via-love-theory)[Anonymous](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/Anonymous)


	26. Chapter 26

[May 4, 2016](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/143873610765/what-is-the-point-to-bring-the-amulet-back-dean)

138 notes

**Anonymous asked: What is the point to bring the amulet back? dean threw it to a trashcan for a reason and it was a little step in the correct direction, chuck giving it back to dean is like god blessing the brothers codependency. This is terrible regression and honestly shitting on past canon**

Well, like the theme of the season, You can’t outrun your past, they CAN’T just throw away their past. They’ve been forced to CONFRONT it, just like Metatron forced God/Chuck to confront his OWN past. TO ADMIT HIS FAILINGS. TO CONFESS and ATONE.

and yeah, I’m DEFINITELY the last one who wanted to see the damn Samulet come back. I LOATHED the thing. It was a symbol of everything broken about the Winchesters’ past, and a symbol of Castiel’s loss of faith. It made me sick that people longed to have it back.

But in this context? Finally doing what it was meant to do all along? Glowing with the power of God? Healing the sick and raising the dead and driving back the Darkness?

It had NEVER worked before. And now it does. Not because it’s a symbol of “Da brudders lurve.” But because that NEGATIVE thing has been confronted head on, and transcended. IT’S SPECTACULAR.

Sam told Dean to leave him before the black vein thing forced him to hurt Dean. Dean stayed with him, not out of hopelessness, but out of hope. He fucking PRAYED. Untouched by Amara’s fog, the only one who had a chance to get out alive, he stayed and prayed. And God FINALLY answered.

The Darkness had possessed these people and FORCED them to see the worst, even as their minds still knew the truth, that they loved these people they were being forced to hurt (kinda like Dean was forced to do similar stuff under the MoC’s influence? Yes?) BUT THAT ALL WASHED AWAY WITH THE LIGHT.

Like, literally, this is what I’ve been screaming about for the last two seasons. AND IT’S HAPPENING OH MY CHUCK IT’S HAPPENING.

They’re confronting the past, recognizing it for what it is, and DOING IT RIGHT THIS TIME. I’m literally crying about it. I’m crying about an amulet I thought I never wanted to see again. This is brilliant. Subverting the past. They’re actually finally doing it.

This is NOT about got blessing their codependency. This is SOMETHING ENTIRELY NEW. This is real, actual character development. This is FINALLY moving past the codependency. This is HUGE.

And yeah, I’ve seen a few of the “sam and dean’s love uwu” posts, but I’m ignoring them because they obviously didn’t pay attention to the rest of the episode and I don’t have the energy to engage that kind of nonsense WHEN EVERYTHING IS FINALLY GETTING SUBVERTED PROPERLY! WHEEEEE!

 

 

[spn 11.20](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-11.20) [no you don't understand I HATED THE FUCKING SAMULET HATED IT WITH A BURNING HATRED](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/no-you-don%27t-understand-I-HATED-THE-FUCKING-SAMULET-HATED-IT-WITH-A-BURNING-HATRED) [but right now i'm pointing and screaming because this is what i meant with the whole](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/but-right-now-i%27m-pointing-and-screaming-because-this-is-what-i-meant-with-the-whole) [Grand Unification via Love Theory](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/Grand-Unification-via-Love-Theory) [subversion and inversion](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/subversion-and-inversion) [and EVERY inversion they've given us going all the way back to Cain in s9](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/and-EVERY-inversion-they%27ve-given-us-going-all-the-way-back-to-Cain-in-s9) [i love the idea that they will bring up these bits of their history in order to further subvert their destinies](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/i-love-the-idea-that-they-will-bring-up-these-bits-of-their-history-in-order-to-further-subvert-their-destinies) [*grumbles about wrestling demons and outrunning the past and stories that became the story*](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/%2Agrumbles-about-wrestling-demons-and-outrunning-the-past-and-stories-that-became-the-story%2A) [subverting the mark of cain](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/subverting-the-mark-of-cain) [no y'all don't understand I've been screaming for the last hour nonstop in between crying jags this is incredible](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/no-y%27all-don%27t-understand-I%27ve-been-screaming-for-the-last-hour-nonstop-in-between-crying-jags-this-is-incredible) [Anonymous](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/Anonymous)


	27. Chapter 27

[May 4, 2016](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/143874261785/so-now-we-have-it-in-canon-that-every-problem-in)

21 notes

So now we have it in canon that every problem in the SPN Universe is due to Chuck deliberately NOT interfering.

But then again, if Chuck hadn’t interfered that one time and locked Amara away, we wouldn’t be here anyway and the entire universe would just be created and then immediately destroyed over and over again.

So what’s Amara so grumpy about? She never created anything, only destroyed everything God ever created?

At least, that’s HIS side of the story. Metatron plead a case for balance. And who ever thought  _Metatron_  of all people would be the sensible mediator type? Only after he fell, and has his own chance to understand creation from a human perspective did he even gain the ability to make such arguments in the face of God.

So how can we resolve this obvious imbalance in the universe now? We’re creation grown unchecked, and the darkness is destruction unchecked. I hate to agree with Metatron, but I agree with Metatron. Balance.

 

 

[spn 11.20](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-11.20) [spn s11 spoilers](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-s11-spoilers) [Grand Unification via Love Theory](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/Grand-Unification-via-Love-Theory) [*mittens attempts to become one with the universe amid the sea of duality*](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/%2Amittens-attempts-to-become-one-with-the-universe-amid-the-sea-of-duality%2A) [which has been my tag since the s10 finale for all the light vs dark stuff](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/which-has-been-my-tag-since-the-s10-finale-for-all-the-light-vs-dark-stuff) [order vs chaos and darkness vs light](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/order-vs-chaos-and-darkness-vs-light) [yep that's the other one](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/yep-that%27s-the-other-one) [god is it wrong to feel so justified looking over my last year of spec at this moment?](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/god-is-it-wrong-to-feel-so-justified-looking-over-my-last-year-of-spec-at-this-moment%3F) [i mean they might subvert this entire story before the season finale but CHUCK DAMMIT I'M GONNA ENJOY IT WHILE I CAN](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/i-mean-they-might-subvert-this-entire-story-before-the-season-finale-but-CHUCK-DAMMIT-I%27M-GONNA-ENJOY-IT-WHILE-I-CAN)


	28. Chapter 28

[May 4, 2016](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/143874949655/im-just-about-this-episode-oh-god-so-fun)

45 notes

**Anonymous asked: I'm just !! about this episode. Oh god, so fun that I'm speechless. I loved editor!Metatron being ruthless (although I'm curious about Chuck's dating stories as well). Does God's escape to 'Chuck' parallel Cas's escape to television? I can't wait to see 11x21**

I can’t WAIT to see episode coda fics for this one. Chuck’s dating history.

Ooh, and it took Metatron’s impassioned plea on behalf of all of creation to snap God out of his funk.

But Cas doesn’t do stuff for all of creation, he does it for one man. Uh, I mean Humanity. Right. So maybe one impassioned plea from Humanity is all it will take?

Also, like Riley said about[ the first victim](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/143871883175/glassclosetcastiel-did-anyone-else-catch-the) of the Death Fog, that he was talking about how he was never loved and felt worthless, but the woman couldn’t understand it because she knew him and his wife, and he was definitely not worthless he was loved DEEPLY by his wife and was a good man. And then at the end Chuck brought all the dead back to life. AND THEY ALL REALIZED THEIR LOVED ONES WERE LOVED!

Because those admissions they were forced to make by Amara? THAT WAS AMARA’S WORDS FORCED INTO THEIR MOUTHS. LIKE DEAN UNDER THE MARK, AND DEAN WHEN HE’D HAD TO FACE HER IN THE PAST. He KNEW the truth but he didn’t have a choice, just like these people now. Because IT’S AMARA THAT FEELS UNLOVED and she’s forcing herself on these people, like she’s tried to force it on Dean.

Like the sheriff lady embracing her husband she’d shot in the face before trying to kill Dean and ending up shot herself. SHE FELT LOVE AGAIN!

In Hope Springs.

GAH. I’m crying again. Well, not again. I haven’t actually stopped yet.

I think Amara just needs a hug. From Chuck.

BUT YES. As a writer, Metatron SUCKED. But as an editor? A+++++++.

 

 

[spn 11.20](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-11.20) [I have all the damn feelings right now ALL THE DAMN FEELINGS](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/I-have-all-the-damn-feelings-right-now-ALL-THE-DAMN-FEELINGS) [Grand Unification via Love Theory](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/Grand-Unification-via-Love-Theory) [BECAUSE REALLY IT'S ALL ABOUT THE LOVE](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/BECAUSE-REALLY-IT%27S-ALL-ABOUT-THE-LOVE) [Anonymous](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/Anonymous)


	29. Chapter 29

May 5, 2016

44 notes

**Anonymous asked: I completely agree with your posts about the Samulet and the cycle of dependency and absent fathers. I really hope that the direction they seem to be heading in (acknowledging the past and moving on from it) comes to fruition if for no other reason than it would make the story stronger. The back and forth bro drama is getting old. I'd like to see them work as partners and not be crippled by each other. Hopefully, that's where we're headed.**

Thank you, but I admit one of those posts was just reblogged from [@deathbycoldopen](https://tmblr.co/mIb9rd-tmk_woPze_nIbRMw), who I also agreed with, and who was much more succinct and far less yelly-flaily than me about it all. :)

***AN: There’s a point where I was writing this where I had to stop and reassess all my life choices, realized I’ve addressed several other messages I got this morning that are all tangentially related despite being completely different. So rather than try and address all of them separately, in the spirit of the Grand Unification via Love Theory, I’m smooshing them all together. Here’s what I’m addressing in this post, hopefully at least semi-coherently, and with apologies to all of these separate anons. Trust me, this is actually going somewhere… I hope. :P

Here’s those other messages from anons that I’ve incorporated into this post:

  1. I have a hard time seeing this “they’re moving past the codependency” when we had Dean inhaling the fog so he could die because he will never leave Sam, because he has no worth outside sam. It will never change.
  2. 1/? I’m a certified bitter!Cas girl, I have my print off diploma in it and everything. But even I’m absolutely over the moon with this season and how goddamn important my baby is to, well, everything!! Like even this ep the fog made people think “negative thoughts” with the eg being a married man who felt unloved even though to an outsider he was loved unconditionally! LIKE YESS all the Cas/Winchester feels. And Cas is Deans entire motivation!  And literally is the conduit to the lucifer arc and so in turn the god arc. Our angel is friggin pivitol! This season makes no sense on an emotional level without him. His feelings are basically the underlying common thread between all the MOTW eps so that they link. This entire situation is the totally opposite to s10. I don’t know how he could be more involved apart from being in every ep. Sorry I know I’m just rehashing what everyone’s already said but as someone who identifies with the group of angry Cas ppl, they’re kinda disappointing me recently by proving that they’re not willing to see anything past what they’ve already decided. Thanks for letting me rant :) 
  3. what it’s bothering me and this is like the second time this season if i’m not mistaken that dean rushes to (or try to because this time tho he sniffed the fog it didn’t work) die because sam dies/is dying and screw cas? all the worry for cas that needs to be saved forgotten? It just leaves a bad taste, like the mentions of cas are just to make up for the actual lack of cas in the episode but it feels like an afterthought because cas will never be a priority or important enough. 
  4. “So Dean staying with Sam? He wasn’t throwing his life away. It wasn’t some huge self-sacrifice.” except he was. dean wasn’t just staying with sam, he was sniffing the fog in an attempt to get infected & die with sam. 11x17 dean killed himself for nothing & billy made clear that if they die they stay dead & with that still fresh in mind dean chooses death with sam over life without sam, he’s not walking past the codependency he’s fully embracing it to never let go, there’s no hope 



I know it’s hard to see sometimes, but what I’ve been seeing all season, since Sam admitted in 11.01 that something’s got to change about how they react to this stuff, putting each other first even ahead of the entire world, that’s been playing out all season.

***AN2: Putting this under a cut because it’s just over 4k and that’s pretty damn long, but it sums up pretty much everything I see as the major themes of this season, from breaking the codependency, Castiel’s importance, and the fundamental parallels between God, The Darkness, and all of creation. So. That took a lot of words. :P

Huge character statements like that made in a tense moment of Big Important Decisions in the opening act of a story (like the season premiere of a show) demand answers by the close of the story (or the season finale, in this case).

And unlike in s9 or s10, there hasn’t been the feeling with s11 that they’re stretching the narrative out for time. They’ve been routinely and consistently addressing it.

In so many episodes this season, one or both of them was at risk (or all three, if you include Cas, which you should, since 11.03 was all about Cas in this exact situation, as well as everything since 11.14 when they learned Cas had said yes to Lucifer), where they had to face danger alone. The only time we saw something that looked even remotely like one of the brothers “throwing himself away” was only  _partly_  due to the MUST SAVE SAMMY thing from the past, in 11.17.

Billie, though, called Dean out on his “real” motives to trade his life for Sam’s. I put “real” in quotes because truly that’s only a little bit right, and there’s been a recurring theme of the monsters (and non-human antagonists in general) getting it wrong, to their own detriment, going all the way back to the moment Dean swung Death’s scythe and killed Death… oopsie. I mean, I’ve written stuff about how you can’t really kill Death, but that’s neither here nor there for this particular meta. So.

So not only was Billie a little bit wrong about Dean’s motives (remember the previous FOUR episodes to that were ALL about Dean’s inability to defeat Amara, beginning with his honest confession to Sam at the end of 11.13, the “bench warmer” conversation and “I was just a witness” in 11.14, Dean’s inability to save Gunner from hellhounds in 11.15 even though he’d managed to convince Gunner to kill the rogue demon who’d been using him. and their teamwork in 11.16 in killing the Soul Eater, with Sam staying outside the nest to work the spell while Dean climbed inside to destroy it from the inside.

Remember, all this time they’ve had two underlying Larger Missions: Save Cas (well, that’s only since 11.14 when they learned he was hosting Lucifer) and Kill Amara. Well, we ALSO know that Sam’s been heading up the “Kill Amara Brigade,” because Dean has admitted he  _can’t_. When he’s in her presence (well, at least up through the point where ~something~ broke the connection in 11.18… >.>) he’s as powerless as the black-veined people were in 11.20. Which is why  _every time Dean asks Sam about how his research is going, he specifically asks about AMARA, because that’s SAM’S JOB_.

Wow, mittens, tone it down. Italics AND shouty caps? Sheesh. Sorry. I might have as many as three actual feelings about Dean’s entire focus actually being on Cas right now. :P

So if Sam’s job is researching the Darkness and how to trap or kill Amara, and yet Dean’s the one pulling research all-nighters, what does that imply that Dean is researching?

Ahem.

How to save Cas. That’s ALL Dean’s been researching. Because that’s HIS job, since he’s just a bench warmer on the Amara case. So I can’t really see where all the fretting about Cas not being important, about Cas being tossed aside, about Cas being ignored or unloved is coming from. It’s as obvious as what the Sheriff said about Amara forcing her to try and accept that the light is a lie and forcing her to act against everything she loves in killing her husband. (another multi-layered parallel to Dean and Cas, emphasized by the two parents in the next moments being physically dressed exactly like… Dean and Cas).

Even  _God_  name checked Cas specifically in that episode.  _CAS IS IMPORTANT!!!!!_  I have no idea how the show could’ve made this more clear, short of becoming a ridiculous mess of Dean crying on the floor over him, and that’s not how Dean reacts to stuff in general. He’s goal-oriented. He shoves down his feelings and charges ahead. Sam’s been letting him, even  _encouraging_  him to let off some of that pressure through reassurances, trying to redirect some of Dean’s frustrated energy into cases, trying to be supportive. In a totally non-codependent way. It’s actually kind of refreshing.

For the first time, this season both Sam and Dean have been being honest with each other, and with themselves. They’re admitting their own personal “failures,” and trying to atone for them. Even when that goes catastrophically wrong, there hasn’t been a lot of blame being tossed around. At least, not since 11.06 when Sam was still hiding the nature of his visions, Dean was still hiding how Amara was affecting him, and Cas was hiding just how depressed and traumatized he was feeling.

I’ve said this before, but it bears repeating here. I know a LOT of people are discouraged they’re not addressing the codependency and mental health issues directly, but short of sending all three of them to therapy and talking out all their issues (which is a process that takes  _years_  in real life), we’re being SHOWN this process happening through narrative parallels (ESPECIALLY in MotW episodes that so many people wrongly dismiss as “irrelevant” to the larger season story arc) and IN THE SUBTEXT.

Yes, folks. The subtext is for more than just the romantic innuendo.

We are NEVER going to be shown the characters explicitly stating their issues and hashing out all their problems. It would just be horribly boring television. So instead, we get allegory. We get monsters that represent their underlying issues and we see how they deal with these monsters, mostly by killing them. Which, as an allegory, represents the conquering (or at least acknowledgement of and discussion of) their personal issues.

I think the clearest example of this (and also most recent, so it’s handy to use as an illustration here, since it’s been extensively deconstructed on several levels) are the Bisaan from 11.19. Creatures that periodically rise from the ground, consume their victims from the inside and use their bodies to reproduce and prepare the next generation before dying out and letting the cycle start all over. But that’s not the only parallel they were useful for. All of the parallels have been pointed out in other meta, so I’ll just point anyone who’s interested in a complete deconstruction of the allegory and parallels toward [my 11.19 tag](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-11.19) and let y’all go nuts.

Okay, so now that we’ve established the  _structure_  how how they’re slowly working through their personal issues, just think about how much of their past issues have been addressed, not only this season, but since the beginning of s8.

We’ve watched them both make the “same mistakes” they’ve made in the past, doing reckless, self-destructive and ultimately  _selfish_  things that have led to this point where the world’s gonna burn. In a way, it was Sam and Dean’s choices that have led to this point, but there were also outside forces at work… that we now understand go back to the divide that started this universe in motion. Things that are so far beyond Sam and Dean’s pay grade that I’ve been giving myself a migraine all morning just trying to conceptualize.

For simplistic reference purposes, please see [this Wikipedia entry on Sartre](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fen.wikipedia.org%2Fwiki%2FBeing_and_Nothingness&t=YWFmYTg2ZmJiMDJkZWFjYWQ1NjY3NDgzNmViZGJiOGVjYjBjZjcxMSx4cWRIN3lKOQ%3D%3D&b=t%3AgQ2jjt29OviG-kJJpyAysQ&p=http%3A%2F%2Fmittensmorgul.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F143905783710%2Fi-completely-agree-with-your-posts-about-the&m=1). It’s a lot quicker of a read (and less flaily and shouty pffft) than everything I’ve been writing since s10 (need I reference 10.11 and Good Charlie and Dark Charlie here again? Also a Robbie Thompson episode, fyi). It’s far quicker than wading into my [duality](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/*mittens%20attempts%20to%20become%20one%20with%20the%20universe%20amid%20the%20sea%20of%20duality*) [tags ](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/order%20vs%20chaos%20and%20darkness%20vs%20light)and my [Grand Unification](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/Grand%20Unification%20via%20Love%20Theory) tags. (or even my Darkness and God tags, or even my earliest attempts to figure all this crap out through [some pretty wacky parallels to science](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/i%20never%20in%20a%20billion%20years%20would've%20thought%20i'd%20quote%20einstein%20and%20nasa%20in%20a%20supernatural%20meta)) Trust me on this.

*pauses to look back over this, realizes I’ve addressed multiple different asks I got this morning all at once, cries, has some more coffee, and tries to figure out what I’m doing with my life…*

Okay, back on point, addressing the specific points brought up by the anons. I’ve personally already covered how I saw Dean  _learn the lesson of futility in throwing his life away as a sacrifice_. That coin’s been spent. It has no value, which was what Billie proved to him in 11.17. The “one or the other, his life for mine” bullshit doesn’t fly anymore. One or the other of them is not more important. They can’t win unless they work as a team.

And yes, that’s putting it into a ridiculously simplistic framework, but really that IS the essence of breaking the codependency. They’re TRUSTING each other to handle what they each can handle, recognizing a healthy dynamic that one is not more important than the other. The show has been making this obvious all season long. I feel like I’ve been beaten about the head and face with it, like I was standing on the X that marked the spot and the universe dropped a 10-ton cartoon anvil on my head.

So on to the “BUT DEAN TRIED TO INFECT HIMSELF WITH THE FOG SO HE COULD DIE WITH SAMMY BECAUSE HE CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT SAMMY.” Um. No?

I don’t know how to address those asks above without sounding a little confused, so I apologize if this sounds a little upset with y’all, but I really am confused about that particular interpretation of the scene, because it’s leaving out the biggest facts of the situation they were in, ignoring EVERYTHING ELSE in the scene to focus ONLY on Sam and Dean’s words. That’s, like SO META for how to ignore ALL THE SUBTEXT AND ALLEGORY and come up with a really limited view of the story as a whole.

Sure, that scene, if viewed EXCLUSIVELY through the dialogue, the words that are coming out of their mouths, ignoring the fact that the fog was EVERYWHERE. It was seeping in through all the doors, the vents, and nothing they were doing could keep it out no matter how hard they tried, well… let’s start out with simplest subtextual layer that still incorporates their words to each other, as well as their individual actions.

Sam and Dean know this fog is from Amara They saw it in 11.01. They know what it’s capable of (see 11.01). They know who and what Amara is now (at least they’ve got a general notion, you know?). They know what she’s capable of. They know that fog is ALL CONSUMING. It was rolling down the street like a sentient being, and now it’s forcing its way through their limited defenses. They’ve shut multiple doors between it and them (and the people they’re trying to protect), they’ve taped over gaps in windows and the air vents to try to keep it out, but it’s forcing its way inside regardless of how fast they’re working to keep it out.

(pauses to reflect on how this sort of relates back to Dean’s internal s10 battle against the Mark. Yes? ALLEGORY! WHEEE!)

Dean ALSO knows how he’s reacted to Amara’s presence in the past. She strips away his will and forces her own will on him. (incidentally, that’s what she told Rowena in 11.18 that she wanted to do  _to all of creation_. See the line: Amara: The Winchesters are right. (Rowena starts to look worried.) But… what they call “destruction” [sighs] I call renovation. My blueprints. Not God’s.) This is a battle between Being and Nothingness.

We know Amara’s ideal of “bliss,” what she believes God’s creation deserves, is the obliteration of will entirely. She thinks it’s better to exist in a constant state of contentment, in a dream-like state where everything’s “ecstasy, orgasm, chocolate cake.” But that’s the extreme polar opposite of God’s creation. Sure, ecstasy-orgasm-chocolate cake is fine, but it’s not  _everything_. We were designed with both the desire for that, as well as the desire to have our own choices. (again, hurting my brain trying to encapsulate Sartre in tv-show-sized bites).

Back to the point, again. Sorry. I’m having trouble staying on topic, as usual.

So we have Sam, who tried to cover the fog-leaking duct. We have the “innocent civilians” the boys are trying to protect. We have only one more set of doors they can retreat behind, and Dean’s already realized the futility of putting doors between himself and the fog. If it wants in, it’s gonna get in. (see also his desperation in 10.23, and the failed “solution” of simply locking himself away (as Chuck even implied was a viable solution for Dean, based entirely on the fact that HE’d tried to do the same thing to the Darkness) instead of facing the problem head-on).

**DIGRESSION ALERT: Do you see the parallel here between Dean “shove it all down and ignore it by drinking lots of whiskey” Winchester’s old standard coping mechanism is the EXACT SAME THING as God shoving the Darkness into a box and hanging out in a bar? Okay, good.

They’ve already closed and attempted to seal off two sets of doors, and yet the fog is still rolling in, creeping in through every available crack. If you’ll notice (like I’m noticing as I rewatch the scene while I type this), At the point Dean starts to take steps toward Sam, DEAN IS ALREADY SURROUNDED BY THE FOG. Walking toward Sam wasn’t some “choice” to infect himself. It wasn’t a suicidal gesture. DEAN WAS ALREADY TOUCHED BY THE FOG.

He yells for the people who were still unaffected to protect themselves, even though he likely realizes that this was a futile gesture at that point. The sheriff tries to urge Dean to come with them, but Dean’s not leaving his brother. Not because Dean’s suicidal, but because he won’t leave Sam to die alone, AND he’s coming to grips with the abject futility of running away.

This is neatly paralleled to Metatron’s impassioned plea to God to confront his own responsibility for the mess he’s made, and a plea to look at the  _good_  things that have come of his creation, too, [which is nicely illustrated here](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/143876378760/littlehobbit13-angels-defending-humanitys).

Dean’s first order of business isn’t to run to Sam’s side, it’s to do what little he can to try and protect the people now sealed away in what amounts to their retreat of last resort. There’s NOWHERE else for them to run, and the futility of trying to keep them safe is made clear when Dean drops the roll of duct tape and the camera lingers over it lying on the floor, with the door crack only half-sealed. At that point, it was an utterly useless act to think they could stop the darkness from achieving her goal… which was delivering her message to Dean.

Then a brick comes flying through the window and the fog’s no longer seeping in, but FLOODING in, as people already infected with Amara’s will force themselves inside the building. They’re literally backed into a corner. They’re still trying to fight, though.

Even with Amara’s will poisoning him, Sam pulls a cork board off the wall and tries to cover the broken window with it, trying to keep the darkness at bay. A clearly pointless act, but he keeps trying. Dean’s trying to stop it from progressing further and affecting even more people with the tape around the doorway. (Again, ALLEGORY! This is a literal reenactment of the underlying themes of the end of s10, with Sam working on his own to fight back the Mark of Cain, aka the Darkness, and Dean choosing death or exile over allowing the Mark to be spread to others.) It’s really  _far_ to late for a band-aid fix for this problem though. Think, THE CALL IS COMING FROM INSIDE YOUR HOUSE!

When Dean abandons his tape, it’s so far beyond too late for them to escape the fog. Like in Croatoan aaaaaall the way back in s2, Sam’s succumbing to this outside influence, there is literally no way out (phones are dead, escape routes are cut off, there’s no fighting their way out, etc.). Dean could’ve left Sam on the floor and hidden himself away with the others, but to what end? Give himself an extra few minutes before the smoke found a way into that office? Then what?

Dean did the best he could with the circumstances at hand. Remember, this is Dean’s particular forte. He’s brilliant in these sorts of situations, and he recognizes the pointlessness of doing anything other than trying to help Sam. Because duh. HE LOVES SAM. That’s not codependency, that’s just being a human being who loves their brother and freaking cares about their brother.

He says, “You’re not quitting here.” and Sam replies (just like the sheriff outside, who told them that Amara was forcing those words into her head about the light being a lie, which is exactly what Sam’s feeling– and tangentially EXACTLY how Cas had been feeling prior to saying yes to Lucifer, that they’re never going to make it, etc. It’s an allegory for depression, here.)

And Dean’s seemingly unaffected by it. Sam talks about how Amara is going to take over everything, and he tells Dean to “Go, before I hurt you,” because that’s what Amara had been using her control over the people she touched with her fog to do. That was an  _assumption_  on Sam’s part. And once again, it was an incorrect assumption.

**hurts self trying to put into concise words ALL THE PARALLELS in this one tiny scene, all the references to depression, hopelessness, and ptsd we’ve been presented with all season surrounding not only Dean and Sam, but CAS as well**

But Dean says that he won’t leave Sam, ever. And funnily enough, Sam doesn’t even TRY to hurt Dean. If Amara had been trying to force Sam to kill Dean, you’d think he would’ve at least been throwing punches or something. But he never does. And that’s when Dean realizes that he’s been breathing in the fog this whole time, but it’s not touched him, at all. Because that’s what Amara told him, that she could never hurt him. Not only is Dean immune to the fog, but Amara would never demand that Sam hurt Dean. I literally don’t think she CAN hurt Dean, even via Sam, just like Dean couldn’t hurt her.

So Dean’s the lone being left to speak for Humanity. It’s like he’s become this pivot point between God and the Darkness. He’s been touched by both God’s power (through being raised from hell and his soul rebuilt by Castiel) and the Darkness (through the Mark of Cain).

Dean’s no longer a symbol for EITHER of their powers, but for the coin itself. Both darkness and light. Two sides of the same coin. BALANCE.

*pauses to pull the pieces of my exploding head back together*

Okay. So when Dean finally reaches the end of his rope and realizes he’s fine while these forces of the universe are having their tantrum all over humanity, he shouts out something:

> STOP THIS. YOU HEAR ME, YOU DICK?!

*shouty caps and interobang mine, but I feel like this is how Dean said this line, so…

So, who was he shouting at? I mean, he knows Amara sent the fog. So was he literally shouting out his frustrations to her? Or was he maybe also shouting out her frustrations to a god he’s never had any faith in. Has Dean, in that moment, realized that THIS was their last resort, their final stand against the darkness when all other lights went out?

Oh my god I just implied that Dean’s the Rudy Hobbit.

But yeah, Dean’s the Rudy Hobbit.

Then, in that moment, everything goes silent. And there’s a light in Sam’s pocket. Something that had always been a symbol for their broken relationship, their broken relationship with their own father, and Castiel’s broken relationship with his own faith in God. Suddenly, that thing’s no longer broken.

This is taking what was broken in the past and finally allowing it to work.

This isn’t so much God finally coming to the rescue to fix everything. This is about BALANCE. The light might be a lie, but the darkness alone is ALSO a lie. You need BOTH things equally in order to be whole. Night and day. Order and chaos. The balancing of those things is what has saved Dean here. Dean’s the coin in this metaphor.

So is God slated to swoop in and save them all from the Big Bad Darkness? Um, no.

Neither can exist without the other. It was God’s presumption that he could create a universe without balance that led us to this point. PEOPLE might embody both Darkness and Light in balance (as Charlie so gracefully proved to us in 10.11), and now Dean has proven to be the ultimate witness, the point at which both sides of that ultimate cosmic coin meet.

There’s a fundamental difference between codependency and unification.

I’ve been saying all along that the difference can be summed up in one word. Love.

God’s admitted to his loneliness, but that’s self-imposed because he banished the Darkness. The Darkness has admitted the same thing.

And really, I don’t know how else to go about explaining how I’m seeing this play out on a cosmic scale between unimaginable entities as a direct parallel to Team Free Will’s own personal struggles.

It’s all smoke and mirrors. Like, literally those were the two big takeaways from this episode. Amara as dark mirror, God being told to hold up a mirror to himself. The whole thing swallowed in a sea of fog.

Really, I am incredibly excited for the return of Castiel AS CASTIEL next week, when he’s finally going to get a chance to join in this party, get his say to God’s face, and finally understand his importance.

 

 

 

[Anonymous](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/Anonymous) [spn 11.20](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-11.20) [spn 10.11](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-10.11) [spn 11.01](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-11.01) [spn 10.23](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-10.23) [spn 11.05](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-11.05) [spn 11.06](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-11.06) [spn 11.17](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-11.17) [spn 11.19](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-11.19) [gosh just all of s11 really pffft](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/gosh-just-all-of-s11-really-pffft) [Grand Unification via Love Theory](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/Grand-Unification-via-Love-Theory)[*mittens attempts to become one with the universe amid the sea of duality*](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/%2Amittens-attempts-to-become-one-with-the-universe-amid-the-sea-of-duality%2A) [chuck help us all](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/chuck-help-us-all)[who is amara?](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/who-is-amara%3F) [and now the darkness](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/and-now-the-darkness) [if you say 'mysterious ways' so help me i will kick your ass](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/if-you-say-%27mysterious-ways%27-so-help-me-i-will-kick-your-ass) [here have my belated thoughts on the whole love... and love](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/here-have-my-belated-thoughts-on-the-whole-love...-and-love) [parallels](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/parallels) [wherein mittens thinks out loud to the general dismay of her followers](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/wherein-mittens-thinks-out-loud-to-the-general-dismay-of-her-followers) [and robbie thompson's insistence on referencing sartre finally gets the best of me](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/and-robbie-thompson%27s-insistence-on-referencing-sartre-finally-gets-the-best-of-me) [robbie thompson is a treasure](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/robbie-thompson-is-a-treasure) [even when he insists on making me think this hard :P](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/even-when-he-insists-on-making-me-think-this-hard-%3AP)


	30. Chapter 30

[May 6, 2016](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/143947743555/but-what-was-the-point-of-dean-asking-in-11x19)

50 notes

**Anonymous asked: But what was the point of dean asking in 11x19 what is to settle down with a hunter? then right next episode he's like I will never leave you, sam. It's like they're never going nowhere, that every tiny step ahead is followed by regression, it's quite frustrating.**

Short answer: Breaking long-standing codependency doesn’t happen instantly.

Long answer: Dean’s still allowed to love his brother. Dean’s allowed to stay with Sam in a moment he believes Amara might be actively KILLING Sam, and when Dean himself had literally nowhere else to run. Dean’s allowed to reassure Sam that he won’t abandon him when things go sideways. That’s not regression, that’s just a fact. Dean will ALWAYS have Sam’s back. But that doesn’t have to be the ONLY thing Dean’s got. He’s allowed to believe that he might be able to have something  _more_ , maybe not marriage, but something… maybe with another hunter, or someone who understands the life. But in a situation with no apparent resolution, where Sam looks like he’s going to die, and Dean has no other recourse to save Sam or even to save himself, what else should he have done?

The point of Dean asking what it’s like to settle down with another hunter in 11.19 was a narrative callback to Sam’s conversation in 11.04 where Dean had verbally rejected Sam’s notion that there might be something more out there for them (while simultaneously recalling that even if he won’t admit it TO SAM yet, this is something that Dean himself had been pondering since at least as far back as 10.16…), but that NOW it’s something he sees as a tentatively viable Thing That Might Be Possible for him, and he’s also WILLING TO ADMIT IT OUT LOUD IN FRONT OF SAM.

Even if in the very next episode, in a moment where he was out of options and literally backed into a corner by Amara’s weird murder fog, he was still allowed to support his brother in what Dean very well may have believed were Sam’s last moments.

Going all the way back to 9.01 when Dean said he’s not with the “love… and love”, well, there’s two kinds of love, and he’s slowly beginning to suss out what that means for him.

Longer answer: *points at my blog and especially the relevant posts on this subject over the last few weeks*

 

 

[spn 11.19](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-11.19) [spn 11.20](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-11.20) [oh DEAN](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/oh-DEAN) [sam fucking winchester](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/sam-fucking-winchester) [breaking the codependency through better understanding and effective communication](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/breaking-the-codependency-through-better-understanding-and-effective-communication) [i always forget that is a tag i have so i forget to use it](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/i-always-forget-that-is-a-tag-i-have-so-i-forget-to-use-it) [and there's a lot of relevant stuff i've written that oops didn't get tagged properly :/](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/and-there%27s-a-lot-of-relevant-stuff-i%27ve-written-that-oops-didn%27t-get-tagged-properly-%3A%2F) [i am a terrible blog-keeper](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/i-am-a-terrible-blog-keeper) [Anonymous](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/Anonymous) [Grand Unification via Love Theory](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/Grand-Unification-via-Love-Theory) [here have my belated thoughts on the whole love... and love](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/here-have-my-belated-thoughts-on-the-whole-love...-and-love)


	31. Chapter 31

[May 11, 2016](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/144207609795/ive-read-comments-speculating-that-chuckgod)

111 notes

I’ve read comments speculating that Chuck/God (hereafter called “Chuck” for consistency) will be given a chance to redeem himself, and conversely that he is being set up to undermine humanity. The postulation that Chuck is either “good” or “evil” seems limiting, though.

The same can be said for Amara/The Darkness (again, just Amara from here on out, because I feel like a dork calling her “the Darkness”). She’s not good or evil. She just is.

That’s like thinking of the Sun as good or evil. It’s there. Without it, we wouldn’t be here. But we also wouldn’t get sunburns, either. It has no human-emotional motivations. It just IS.

Trying to view Chuck and Amara as  _people_ , with human characteristics and motivations, is equally limiting. Metatron even said so flat out. Chuck  _isn’t_  a person. He may have  _invented_ people, invented  _souls_ , but that doesn’t mean he has one, or can possibly have any understanding of one. He can look at us, give himself little human abilities, essentially  _mimic_  us quite convincingly, apparently. But  _he is not human_.

In 11.20, he even said it. He created the universe (and implied that he’d created numerous others before this one) for the express purpose of showing Amara that there was something  _more_  than the two of them. Something  _better_ than them.

Chuck also implied that Nature was the pinnacle of his creation, not humanity. Yet when it came time for him to create his ideal, perfect safe room to lock himself away in, he didn’t create a perfect garden, or a seashore, or a mountain range. Nope. He copied a  _human_  space. A bar, filled with music and beer and all these very human things in order to sit down at a computer and type up his self-aggrandizing autobiography. Probably while reblogging cat gifs and ordering himself a #1 Dad hat off Redbubble.

On the other side of the coin, we have Amara. And yes, she’s literally the flip side of the God/Darkness coin. They are polar opposites, and as such are nearly identical. Their power, as well as their limitations.

Remember Good Charlie in 10.11, talking about Dark Charlie? She said that Dark Charlie was the only one who had the power to fight that final battle in Oz, that separating herself had been  _necessary_  to accomplish that feat. But the resultant “two Charlies” were no more powerful than the united Standard Issue Charlie. They were just free to act without the burden of the other side setting limits on that power.

In this same way, Chuck has been free to create without being burdened by Amara’s need to destroy; and conversely, Amara is free to destroy without being burdened by a creator’s admiration for his own creations.

NEITHER of them is capable of any real HUMAN emotions toward creation, or the destruction of it, because they have no emotional stake in it. At all. They’re each stuck at one far extreme of experience with no way to meet in the middle.

“Light” Charlie (and I’m SO hesitant to call her “good” here, even though the show did), understood that a reunion with her “Dark” half was necessary, but boy did she ever NOT WANT IT. To be forced to live with a presumed evil (even though it’s not inherently evil, it’s just the judgment of the Light half of her that deemed it evil. Dark Charlie only thought of herself as PRACTICAL, and not subject to human judgments of morality because she wasn’t human. She was only HALF of a human) seemed like a horrible idea to Light Charlie.

Likewise, Dark Charlie had no desire to be reunited with her “weak” Light half. She saw that other half of herself as a weakness, irrelevant, a liability.

Hurting one inevitably hurt the other, because they were inextricably linked despite their aversion to one another. Despite the fact that they remained the same being only split into polar opposites.

And I know my new favorite hobby is harping on poor old 10.11 and the Two Charlies, but it’s for this exact reason that I can’t see assigning human values, judgment, and morality to Chuck and Amara.

There is no “redemption” for either of them, because they don’t need redemption. There is no “good” or “evil” here, because the show was  _very careful_  to never call “Dark Charlie” “Evil Charlie.” She  _wasn’t evil_. She didn’t have the capacity for evil. She just  _was_.

So can we stop trying to decide which Chuck and Amara are? Good or evil? They’re neither, but they’re also both. They are the Light and the Dark and as much as the two Charlies were the same thing yet repelled one another, the same is true of Chuck and Amara.

It took a key to lock both of Charlie’s halves back together, and it will do the same to repair the rift between Chuck and Amara.

I have no idea what consequences that will have for the universe. No idea what that lock and key will look like, either. I just know we need all three of that crap.

 

 

[spn 10.11](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-10.11) [aka my favorite episode to point and glare at](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/aka-my-favorite-episode-to-point-and-glare-at) [if you say 'mysterious ways' so help me i will kick your ass](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/if-you-say-%27mysterious-ways%27-so-help-me-i-will-kick-your-ass) [and now the darkness](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/and-now-the-darkness) [*mittens attempts to become one with the universe amid the sea of duality*](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/%2Amittens-attempts-to-become-one-with-the-universe-amid-the-sea-of-duality%2A) [Grand Unification via Love Theory](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/Grand-Unification-via-Love-Theory) [because why not maybe the lock and key are a function of hands and hearts](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/because-why-not-maybe-the-lock-and-key-are-a-function-of-hands-and-hearts) [we need to get all three of that crap](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/we-need-to-get-all-three-of-that-crap) [spn 11.20](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-11.20) [spn 11.21](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-11.21) [spn s11 speculation](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-s11-speculation)


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my addition to this post by bluestar86: http://bluestar86.tumblr.com/post/144370082668

We’ve been shown two scenes with Dean and Amara out in “nature,” i.e. the setting Chuck referred to as the pinnacle of his own creation, and these scenes are not only a narrative mirror to one another, they are a VISUAL mirror to one another, as well. (not to mention they were both written by Bucklemming, so it’s nearly impossible for me to NOT parallel them directly).

In 11.09, we are shown this:

(gif by the incredibly talented [@dustydreamsanddirtyscars](https://tmblr.co/m4J6yls3rYvF2fUHLnY_jJQ) from [this set](http://dustydreamsanddirtyscars.tumblr.com/post/134925680596/11x09-oh-brother-where-art-thou-i-know-youre-a))

And in 11.21 we are shown this:

  


(gifs by [@throughfireandice](https://tmblr.co/mxg22x11qWDNZ-d5thQXCOg) from [this set](http://throughfireandice.tumblr.com/post/144314353550/for-mittensmorgul), because i actually requested it for science)

Compare and contrast. We’re being invited  _in every possible way_  to do so. Amara is making Dean the identical offer, to become “one” with her. In 11.09 she establishes her offer, asserts complete control over Dean, and overrides his choices and control. Dean’s unable to resist her, and it terrifies him. That’s made clear in his conversation with Cas(ifer) in 11.11, and his confession to Sam at the end of 11.13 (both episodes with VERY STRONG HEART/HANDS themes, and in 11.13 the MotW LITERALLY TAKES AMARA’S FORM AND PHYSICALLY TRIES TO REMOVE DEAN’S HEART with its right hand. The metaphor is not subtle, folks.

In 11.21, EVERYTHING is presented as different. The trees aren’t scrubby little saplings, these are HUGE and TOWERING old growth woods.That’s established with a lovely shot of Dean and a completely gratuitous shot up at the sky through the forest canopy. Even their positions on screen are reversed, with Amara now at the  _right_  side of the screen in 11.21. And in 11.21, Dean is surprised to find that Amara  _can’t control Dean anymore like she had before_. And she’s confused and upset by this, and Dean’s a little surprised… 

So what, are we led to believe, broke the connection? Well, VISUALLY we are shown something DIFFERENT happening in 11.21. In between those two gifs of Amara touching Dean’s face, we’re shown something that we weren’t the last time Dean was in this exact situation:

That’s new. And I think this is the exact reason that Cas was so conspicuously absent from 11.09. I mean, he wasn’t even  _mentioned_. We all cried foul and were pissed, and wrote it off as, ugh, bucklemming screwing it up.

But now, it sort of hammers this point home with a wrecking ball. What broke the connection? Well, what was missing before but is present now?

Do I have to actually say it out loud?

 

 

[spn s11 speculation](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-s11-speculation) [grand unification via love theory](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/grand-unification-via-love-theory) [this season's getting handsy](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/this-season%27s-getting-handsy) [destiel](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/destiel)[not only all of this but we were shown that ~something~ was powerful enough to OVERRIDE the bond amara presumed to have with dean in](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/not-only-all-of-this-but-we-were-shown-that-~something~-was-powerful-enough-to-OVERRIDE-the-bond-amara-presumed-to-have-with-dean-in) [spn 11.21](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-11.21) [dean stood in front of her gritting his teeth expecting a replay of 11.09](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/dean-stood-in-front-of-her-gritting-his-teeth-expecting-a-replay-of-11.09) [he was just waiting for the whammy to hit BUT IT NEVER DID](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/he-was-just-waiting-for-the-whammy-to-hit-BUT-IT-NEVER-DID)


	33. Chapter 33

[May 20, 2016](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/144662684175/ive-always-seen-deans-attraction-to-amara-as)

38 notes

**Anonymous asked: I've always seen Dean's attraction to Amara as more about what she represents to Dean. She represents not having to care anymore. No more pain. No more anger. No more being tired. No more of anything. Just blissful, static nothing, in it's most real and true form. The idea is attractive for sure, but here's the thing about nothing: it literally means nothing. No love, and...love. No joy. You can't have both, and are you willing to sacrifice one in order to not have to deal with the other?**

Oh, same here. She’s described what she’s offering him as an end to his suffering where he can simply exist in a state of bliss. Dean also understands that it would mean complete annihilation of “Dean.” He would literally lose  _himself_.

But for Dean “single man tear” Winchester, the emotiest of all the hunters, it’s that sense of self, of who he is, that keeps him going even through the worst of times.

I just keep going back to s4 and s5 to gain a little insight into Dean’s current predicament. When he first came back from Hell and confessed his torment to Sam, he said  _sometimes I wish I couldn’t feel a damn thing_. At the lowest point of his despair he decided to offer himself to Michael as his vessel, knowing that it would likely mean the end of Dean (after seeing Raphael’s vessel reduced to the state he was in post-possession). But then the people who love him pulled him back from that edge.

In s10, those people pulled him back from BEYOND that edge (he was a demon, after all, his humanity lost for a time) and gave him a second chance.

That part of himself that just wishes it couldn’t feel, the part he shoves down with alcohol and denial, he  _knows_  that’s not all there is.

He has looked into the void and the void’s looked back… and he’s turned away from it.

(thanks to @throughfireandice again for the lovely [gifs](http://throughfireandice.tumblr.com/post/144314353550/for-mittensmorgul) that are proving useful on multiple occasions!)

 

 

[spn 11.23 speculation](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-11.23-speculation) [oh DEAN](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/oh-DEAN) [i swear i could cry about this sad smol bean forever](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/i-swear-i-could-cry-about-this-sad-smol-bean-forever)[Anonymous](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/Anonymous) [grand unification via love theory](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/grand-unification-via-love-theory)


	34. Chapter 34

[May 25, 2016](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/144934331810/grand-unification-via-love-theory)

25 notes

Grand Unification via Love Theory

  

 

[spn 11.23](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-11.23) [spn s11 spoilers](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-s11-spoilers) [Grand Unification via Love Theory](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/Grand-Unification-via-Love-Theory) [this season's getting handsy](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/this-season%27s-getting-handsy)[CALLED IT!](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/CALLED-IT%21)

[May 25, 2016](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/144935030960/brb-rolling-around-in-a-years-worth-of-yelling)

45 notes

brb rolling around in a year’s worth of yelling about duality that could only be fixed by reuniting light and dark once they stopped using dean as their proxy/firewall

sorry if i’m a little bit self-gratified tonight, but literally I called this one year ago today so…

<http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/144537719180/supernatural-the-darkness-god-death-lucifer>

<http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/144609519920/grand-reunification-indeed>

*does the I WAS RIGHT dance*

  

 

[spn 11.23](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-11.23) [spn s11 spoilers](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-s11-spoilers) [*tries to minimize gloating but is really fucking struggling with that right now so just kinda apologizes in advance*](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/%2Atries-to-minimize-gloating-but-is-really-fucking-struggling-with-that-right-now-so-just-kinda-apologizes-in-advance%2A) [Grand Unification via Love Theory](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/Grand-Unification-via-Love-Theory) [this season's getting handsy](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/this-season%27s-getting-handsy) [here have my belated thoughts on the whole love... and love](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/here-have-my-belated-thoughts-on-the-whole-love...-and-love)


	35. Chapter 35

[May 25, 2016](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/144937275605/about-deans-i-dont-have-a-choice-in-this)

163 notes

About Dean’s “I don’t have a choice,” in this episode versus EVERY OTHER TIME he’s done something without having a choice… because this was decidedly different. And that’s a HUGE deal.

He  _didn’t want to destroy Amara_. He’d been ready to do it because it was the right thing to do, but HE DIDN’T WANT THAT.

He literally DID have a choice. And THAT’S what made all the difference.

All season, from the beginning of 11.01, we’ve been shown that in Amara’s presence, DEAN DID NOT CONTROL HIMSELF. THAT WAS WHEN HE HAD NO CHOICE. His free will was just  _nullified_  in her presence.

And he was the only one who could carry the “bomb” close enough to her, because of their “bond,” to make it an effective threat.

He literally did pull a Cold War Era Nuclear Holocaust game of chicken on her.

Kudos to [@larinah](https://tmblr.co/mIsONy1xJeKnsCBiQikgzfQ) for calling that parallel!

But for the first time EVER, it was FIRMLY 100% HIS CHOICE. It was Dean fully exercising his free will that allowed him to even walk up to her, to  _talk_  to her. And that’s what saved the universe. He used the leverage of that power he carried in his heart, and then Amara brought Chuck in and they finally forgave each other and restored the balance that’s been broken since the beginning of creation. And they did it by joining hands.

The universe has a clean slate now, thanks to Dean’s CHOICE.

  

 

[spn 11.23](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-11.23) [spn s11 spoilers](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-s11-spoilers) [gah i need to watch it again dammit that WAS SO FUCKING GOOD I AM A SQUEE](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/gah-i-need-to-watch-it-again-dammit-that-WAS-SO-FUCKING-GOOD-I-AM-A-SQUEE) [Grand Unification via Love Theory](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/Grand-Unification-via-Love-Theory) [this season's getting handsy](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/this-season%27s-getting-handsy) [and hands and hearts are part of that i'll just slap it on here anyway](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/and-hands-and-hearts-are-part-of-that-i%27ll-just-slap-it-on-here-anyway) [here have my belated thoughts on the whole love... and love](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/here-have-my-belated-thoughts-on-the-whole-love...-and-love) [that's what free will is](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/that%27s-what-free-will-is)


	36. Chapter 36

#  [Since I essentially predicted ALL of s11 on May 25, 2015, please have my prediction for s12 on May 26, 2016](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/144966297500/since-i-essentially-predicted-all-of-s11-on-may)

[May 26, 2016](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/144966297500/since-i-essentially-predicted-all-of-s11-on-may)

319 notes

Hi everyone! I’d started writing this post, got about half done with it, and my laptop crashed and I LOST IT ALL, so this is my attempt to recreate it from memory. There’s no way this is everything I’d said before, but I’ll do my best.

I have a lot of asks piling up, and I do plan to do a full 11.23 rewatch with very detailed observations, but that will have to wait for later tonight (especially now that I’ve essentially lost an hour due to losing the entire original version of this post…)

AN: YES I KNOW THIS IS LONG, AND NO I AM NOT PUTTING IT UNDER A CUT. I WANT THIS TO STAND UNEDITED AS MY FIRST REACTION TO S11 UNEDITED AND RAW. Sorry. 

AN2: (sighing again) edited because all my bolded and italicized text didn’t transfer when I copy/pasted this from gdocs)

I want to talk about my main takeaway from s11 here. For the first 11 seasons of the show, the driving force behind all their actions has been the Father. In the very first scenes of the pilot episode, the impetus that sets everything else in motion for the next 33 years of their lives, is the death of their mother (or of the Feminine, metaphorically speaking).

S11, and beginning long before that, but s11 specifically, has been about undoing all these mistakes of the father (or the masculine force) in order to restore balance. In order to do that, Dean (and also to an extent Sam, but more recently CAS has also been on this journey, too) has been actively confronted with nearly all the “major mistakes” of their past and given an opportunity to do them better this time around.

[I replied to a question last week about the Soul Bomb (before the episode aired), and ended up pointing out all the instances where they’d been given a chance to revisit their “wrong choices” from the last 10 season finales, and have made a better choice, with more balanced and healthy outcomes this time around.](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/144633939535/hey-just-thinking-about-the-idea-of-a-soul-bomb)

The major themes of this season, from my point of view, were “You can’t outrun your past,” and my tag for this, which is “subversion and inversion.” (and this is where I start crying trying to rewrite this, because I had all sorts of good stuff here but I’m doing my best… ugh)

I am still pointing to 10.11 as the key to this subversion, of reuniting ALL the parts of yourself and accepting EVERYTHING about yourself. Dean’s been personally confronting this going all the way back to 10.03, while trying to come to terms with having lived with only the absolute darkest parts of himself while he’d been a demon. He fought that part of himself, and went to the opposite extreme in trying to deny it.

This goes all the way back to the death of his Mother (which I’m capitalizing because that was the symbolically the death of everything “feminine” about Dean and the source of the “performing Dean” mask he’d had to construct for himself in order to be the Good Son to his father). Everything that’s happened on the series over these 11 years has been about the quest of the Father, a masculine-coded revenge mission which Dean (and Sam, and even Cas) have been stuck on and had never quite been able to break free of.

So in addition to just subverting their own past Huge Mistakes™, they’ve also (and I’m kind of focusing on Dean here, because his subversion was the key to solving this whole mess) had to subvert that toxic masculinity and codependence that they’d layered themselves in like Winchester Family Armor.

This deconstruction and subversion has been happening in earnest since 10.14. Cain set the stage for Dean to make a different choice than he had, to do better than he did. While Cain had been able to achieve a certain level of peace and balance through his relationship with Colette, even after her death,  _that alone had never been enough to save him_. Because the initial underlying issues had never been truly dealt with; i.e. the sacrifice of his own brother brought about by his unhealthy codependency. Because when it comes down to it, Cain’s deal with Lucifer was a dark mirror for Dean having sold his soul to save Sam.

Granted, the theme had already begun to be subverted by Dean’s reasons for taking the mark in the first place. His goal in turning himself into a weapon was to destroy Abaddon before she could destroy the world. That in itself sets the stage for a potential  _different_ resolution for Dean.

But all of this change can’t come through relationships with other people (no matter HOW MUCH they’re loved or love you in return). And that is ESSENTIAL for the subversion of the Daddy Issues that have driven Dean since he was four years old. Dean has tried to seek that suppressed part of him externally for most of his life– through validation and approval from his father, through seeking pleasure and an unattainable satisfaction from his encounters with others. That quest was explored metaphorically in s10 through his relationship with food, swinging from wildly unhealthy overindulgence to a rather austere “pure” diet of egg white omelettes and kale. Neither brought him true satisfaction, because he was still looking for it outside himself. He was still unbalanced.

In 10.16 he began to admit this out loud, that maybe he wanted something more with someone. And I’m not talking about his confessional scene, I’m talking about his conversation with Sister Mathias (a “pure” Female mirror that reflected back the “unbalanced and unhealthy” reasons for Dean’s external quest for acceptance… which is an inherently Masculine approach). Sister Mathias may have been a female, but she chose a male-coded name on entering service to God as a nun, giving herself over to that Father force because “Well [sighs] in my case, **I felt I had no choice. My life had become painful. There was hopelessness. I felt I had to find something larger than myself to focus on. A kind of mission, I guess.**  You have no idea what I’m talking about, I’m sure.”

And that bolded text there? That’s the toxic masculinity laid out plan, by a woman in service to God.

That was Dean’s turning point. That’s what prompted him (subconsciously, but it was still a MAJOR turning point for him) to begin his quest INWARD. Seeking for that lost Mother force outside of him had failed. He began to admit out loud, with actual words– even verbally paralleling SEX with LASAGNA in case the parallel wasn’t already clear enough from his weird food obsession all season to that point– that a fundamental change in his quest had begun.  
The priest absolved Dean of his sins with this: “One would hope some…inner exploration might occur. The prayers are just the beginning to some serious soul-searching.”

Which has been Dean’s essential core of his [Heroine’s Journey](http://flyingfish1.tumblr.com/post/143026668768/beyond-duality-carver-era-as-a-search-for) (and if you haven’t read that meta by [@flyingfish1](https://tmblr.co/mDnGiNYHmUc0waCcxPdtJXw), it is ESSENTIAL for understanding s11, the entire Carver era, and what the future holds). His GOALS were outlined in the rest of his conversation with the priest, about “going deeper” with someone than he had with the nebulous aggregation of all his past lovers as “Gina.” We’ve analyzed to death what the things, people, and feelings he wants to experience differently, maybe even for the first time, are. But This was HUGE for Dean, personally.

Mr. Dean “No Chick Flick Moments” Winchester was officially set on course to confront the Dark Goddess of the Heroine’s Journey. And he did it both internally by finding acceptance of the Feminine things in himself, as well as in three dimensions through the resolution of his toxic bond with Amara. ALL OF THIS was summed up with the subversion of that one line from the pilot episode. He OWNED that yeah, he does love chick flicks.

That’s MIND BLOWINGLY HUGE and demonstrates the full resolution and final annihilation of Performing Dean.

And the specific way in which it was done, by acknowledging the FEMININE, standing at MARY’S grave and NOT JOHN’S, his freaking HUGE.

The need for approval and validation from the Masculine has been entirely subverted. The toxic imbalance of that essentially Male force that has driven not only Dean’s personal journey through life, but the actual origins of the entire universe beginning with God himself, has been overthrown. It’s the reunification with the Feminine (symbolized for Dean by the loss of his mother, and symbolized outwardly by convincing Amara to lay her revenge mission aside and reunite with her brother) that literally saved the universe.

THIS is why I am 100% okay that Cas never got an apology or a resolution with Chuck.  _Because fundamentally he did not need it_. Cas has been on the same Heroine’s Journey that Dean has, and no amount of external approval or validation from God was going to mean a damn diddly squat. The fact he didn’t even ASK for it, or demand a resolution from Chuck PROVES that he’s come further along in his journey toward wholeness and acceptance of HIMSELF.

Just as Dean didn’t even consider seeking a final family moment at John’s grave,  _because he’d already cast aside that need for approval from his father_ , Cas has likewise abandoned the unhealthy need for approval and validation from his father.

ISN’T THAT BEAUTIFUL?!

Where did Cas get his validation in this episode? FROM DEAN. From someone who’d just declared them equals, BROTHERS (and in Dean Speak, there is no more idealized bond than that of a brother). Up to this point, Dean has understood no greater expression of love than what he feels for Sam. Everything else has been a hollow quest for him. “Going through the motions” as he’s said himself.

So what does that leave, now that the universe has been restored to its proper balance, Light and Dark reunited as equals?

What I think will be the driving force going forward into s12 will be rediscovering that essential Feminine. The gift that Amara gave Dean, symbolic of EVERYTHING that had been torn away from his life since his mother died, was the reunification with the feminine, PERSONIFIED BY THE RESURRECTION OF MARY in perhaps the most poetic un-fridging of the feminine in the history of television.

No, I am serious about that.

It’s now time for Dean to finally be able to begin to look OUTWARD for those things he’d been working through within himself for the last two seasons. Now that he’s made HIMSELF whole by accepting all of these parts of himself, he can carry that forward through his relationships with Sam, Cas, and Mary herself.

Balance has been restored to the universe, but Dean is only BEGINNING to understand and live with this balance, so I believe s12 is being set up as an exploration of the inherently FEMININE just as the first eleven seasons had been the birth, evolution, and eventual death of the masculine.

We’ve been shown that a major part of s12 will be the new character, Lady Toni Bevell, as the representative for the traditionally MALE MEN OF LETTERS. I mean, it’s right there in the name. It was only Charlie who questioned that, and began to change what it meant to be a Person of Letters.  
Lady Toni is a woman, a mother, and yet a symbol of the same “wrong thinking” that Henry Winchester had come straight out of 1958 with– a stilted understanding of everything that had led Sam and Dean to be involved with the problems that had sprung up around them. She accused Sam of “playing with forces beyond his understanding,” and BLAMED HIM for these things. And come on, we all know that  _the fact Sam and Dean even exist in the first place_  is because of the machinations of heaven and hell for the explicit purpose of  _starting the apocalypse_. NONE of this was their fault. In fact, if it hadn’t been for Sam and Dean, as well as Cas (since he’s up on her Murder Board, too), the world WOULD have ended. She’s already being set up to discover just how wrong the Men of Letters, cloistered away in their dusty libraries studying stuff with only a partial understanding of the facts, have the story.

So now that Dean (and Cas, but also Sam) have found absolution and balance within themselves, I see s12 as their mission to restore that broken balance out in the world at large. And the pivot point of the whole reversal of that mission is the reappearance of Mary Winchester.  
So yes, I AM THRILLED AT HOW THIS WAS HANDLED. It wasn’t so much a “death of God and all that is male,” It was the acknowledgement that striving for that as as ideal, with the goal of external validation and success in the eyes of the father IS SIMPLY IRRELEVANT.

Dean no longer NEEDS his father’s approval. He doesn’t NEED to wear a mask that John would be “proud” of. He doesn’t need to construct an outward persona that exemplifies his self-destructive and toxic idea of Masculine Perfection.

And NEITHER DOES CAS.

Cas has lived for millions (if not billions) of years as an embodiment of service to God, to the masculine generative force of the universe. For him, the female has always been represented as something horrifying and alien– going all the way back to the angels’ limited understanding and outright fear of The Darkness.

Cas had believed so strongly that Amara was a destructive force that had to be killed that he’d sought out the angel most diametrically opposite the Darkness, Lucifer the Lightbringer, God’s self-admitted “favorite,” and welcomed him into his body (yes, his body and not his vessel any more, CAS IS THAT BODY NOW).

In his conversation with Dean, THAT’S WHERE CAS SOUGHT ABSOLUTION FOR HIS CHOICES. FROM DEAN. WHO VALIDATED ALL OF CAS, TOLD HIM HE WAS FAMILY, GAVE HIM THE HIGHEST WINCHESTER HONOR OF BEING LOVED AND ACCEPTED AS A BROTHER– A TRUE BROTHER .Because until Dean begins to really explore the part of himself that’s been essentially dead since 1983– his feminine side– that’s literally the highest form of love he knows how to express. And Cas knows it.

Cas has been told he’s worthless, useless, and expendable. He’s come to believe that. His angelic family has disowned him, but Dean has told him that he is unconditionally a part of HIS OWN FAMILY. Cas ISN’T worthless or expendable. He’s FAMILY. He’s A WINCHESTER.

And now he’s finally free of his need for acceptance from God. He’s learned that no, he really isn’t just an angel anymore. His chains have finally been unlocked.

So, yeah. I don’t give a flying rat’s ass if Chuck approves of Cas. Because CAS approves of Cas.

And yeah, Dean approves of him, too.

So for s12, with Mary returned, the balance of the Divine Feminine restored to the universe, but ALSO restored to Dean in EVERY POSSIBLE WAY, I predict unprecedented character growth, and a continuation of Dean’s acceptance of EVERY part of himself.

Things are truly looking hopeful. Of course, they’ll still encounter difficulties, but I predict that Dean (and Cas, and even Sam) will finally be able to take this internal reunification of the feminine and begin to heal the world with it. Just as Chuck said, when Dean asked him what would become of the Earth with him and Amara gone now, The Earth will be fine  _because it has Dean_  (and Sam, but hey…).

I’ve had some anons who are upset because Chuck, in his last chance to validate Castiel utterly failed to even mention him, but we already KNOW that Dean includes Cas in his family of brothers. And like I said before, Chuck’s opinions on Cas don’t matter to me one whit.

As far as Dean and Cas, or DeanCas, even more barriers between them have crumbled. The full extent of their relationship is still in the subtext, but I didn’t really expect anything else. Because Dean has been fundamentally incapable of experiencing anything more than the idealized love for his brother up to this point.

Now that the Feminine is finally able to take center stage, I foresee nothing but healing, growth, and development of ALL of their relationships with each other (Dean, Sam, Cas, AND MARY).

The universe is correcting the balance, and it’s an ongoing process. I mean, come ON. Even Death has been replaced by a Female Force. EVERYTHING HAS BEEN SUBVERTED. This is no longer the Daddy Show. This truly is wiping the slate clean.

Dean’s still got a LOT of unanswered questions from this season, most of which revolve around LOVE. Mildred’s assertion that he was pining for someone in 11.11 (who was that mysterious person he was pining for?), his admission that it was NOT Amara, and that what he felt for her was NOT love, his admission TO CAS that what he feels for him IS DEFINITELY LOVE AND IN THE HIGHEST WAY DEAN KNOWS HOW TO EXPRESS.

And yeah, he subverted the whole Chick Flick bullshit, but that doesn’t mean he’s fully integrated the language into his own vocabulary yet. Give him time. It’s hard to undo 33 years of toxic masculinity, but he’s beginning to ask the right questions.

“So, what’s it like, settling down with a hunter?”

He may have couched his Official Welcome to the Winchester Family to Cas in the language of “we” and “brother,” But we’ve also been shown for most of s11 that the way Sam thinks of Cas as his brother is  _decidedly different_  from how DEAN thinks of Cas as his “brother.”

This is like learning a foreign language for Dean and he hasn’t quite mastered all the irregular verb conjugations yet. As usual, though, Cas understands him on a fundamental level. He gets that the words are in there somewhere, and Dean just needs time to get the translation just right.

And holy crackers, isn’t that freaking SPECTACULAR?!

Please tell me it’s October now.

  

 

[spn 11.23](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-11.23) [spn s11 spoilers](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-s11-spoilers) [spn s12 speculation](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-s12-speculation) [subversion and inversion](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/subversion-and-inversion) [*mittens attempts to become one with the universe amid the sea of duality*](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/%2Amittens-attempts-to-become-one-with-the-universe-amid-the-sea-of-duality%2A) [breaking the codependency through better understanding and effective communication](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/breaking-the-codependency-through-better-understanding-and-effective-communication) [here have my belated thoughts on the whole love... and love](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/here-have-my-belated-thoughts-on-the-whole-love...-and-love) [Grand Unification via Love Theory](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/Grand-Unification-via-Love-Theory) [destiel](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/destiel) [because yeah that's a big part of it too](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/because-yeah-that%27s-a-big-part-of-it-too) [I'm calling it now s12 is officially all about finding balance in this wild state of New Normal](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/I%27m-calling-it-now-s12-is-officially-all-about-finding-balance-in-this-wild-state-of-New-Normal)


	37. Chapter 37

May 19, 2016

51 notes

**Anonymous asked: Hey just thinking about the idea of a soul bomb - like that is kind of a callback to S6/7 and a mistake Cas made. If we go by the theme that we are facing our past and realising that the old "solutions" don't work (sacrificing yourself, taking the mark of Cain, locking your enemy in a box) I think the soul bomb will be another iteration of this. It won't work and that will be the lesson but this time it will be Castiel's lesson. At least I hope so. What do you think?**

This got me to thinking. What have been all the main season finale “bad decisions” they’ve made?

s1: Granted they were largely at the mercy of major powers playing games with them. They were just beginning to crack the demonic forces at play, and their major problem was letting Azazel escape, which they set to rights in the s2 finale, but…

s2: Dean sells his soul. That’s a big no-no. I mean he got Sam back, but that was the real start to most of their problems of their own making. Now in s11, they know that’s not an option for them anymore. They have learned that lesson.

s3: Dean gets dragged to hell as a result of his deal, and Sam begins his descent arc by trusting Ruby and secretly working with her. I think they still need to learn the rest of this lesson. In s11 they have a lot more leverage of demons, angels, and the like, but Sam’s still a goob in God’s presence, and Dean’s having doubts about his connection to Amara and feeling like he’s lost control. He might not trust Chuck 100% but until the end of 11.22, he was at least willing to still go along with Chuck’s plans (re: Sam taking the Mark). I think after listening to his conversation with Amara and seeing how vulnerable Chuck is in her presence, Dean’s going to begin to put facts together. I don’t think he’s approaching the problem from the same position anymore. He knows Chuck’s not as trustworthy as he seemed, and he understands a little bit more of how Amara was wronged. He’s going to approach any potential solution a little more cautiously now.

s4: Oopsie, Lucifer’s on the loose. S11: oopsie, Lucifer’s on the loose. Or at least, he was. I await confirmation on Luci’s fate at the moment. At least this time, Cas truly believed he was doing the right thing and INTENTIONALLY releasing lucifer, rather than being tricked into it by believing he was preventing Lucifer’s release. It was a strategic maneuver, even if it didn’t work out the way he’d hoped, since Amara is still at liberty and Luci has now proven beyond all doubt that he really couldn’t defeat her on his own, or even with the Band of Brothers.

s5: Swan Song. S11. Attempted and averted Swan Song, via Sam taking the Mark and telling Dean to lock him up when he goes dark. Sam was again ready to commit himself to an eternity in the cage in order to save the world, but again, that goes back to the point that self-sacrifice doesn’t work anymore. There must be a better way.

s6: EAT ALL THE SOULS AND BLOW SHIT UP. s11: SOUL BOMB! I still think this is a red herring, because it was explicitly given to us in the promo video. I think they go in to this situation KNOWING it’s a red herring. They are not ever going to give us the Climactic Moment of a season finale in a promo video. It’s just never going to happen, which almost GUARANTEES it’s a red herring.

s7: God Weapons have really uncomfortable side effects. s11: the Hands of God have really uncomfortable side effects, and luckily they’re now redundant as Chuck’s actual hands are in play, which means Dean doesn’t have to worry about channeling God Power himself, or worry about Lucifer (and by lucifer he means Cas) channeling god power and burning up as a result. Problem solved.

s8: Maybe don’t mess with the Natural Order of things. Tends to get really messy, and the fallout tends to involve burning angels and burning brothers. s11: they know they can’t outright KILL amara because BALANCE and the universe will go blammo if they upset the natural order that badly. Basically, BALANCE IS KEY.

s9: I think this is one more of those “don’t mess with the Natural Order” of things, Mark of Cain edition.Rowena once called it “The Original Curse.” s11: we’re trying to fix that one still, yeah.

s10: oopsie we messed with the natural order of things again. s11: really REALLY hope we can fix this one.

s11: The Happy Few aren’t so happy right now, they’re considering resorting to a Soul Bomb (whatever the heck that might do), which has to be delivered by a person acting AS the bomb. That does really sound like s6 Cas, and we ALL know how horribly that worked out for everyone. Which is just one more reason I consider this to be a red herring. That MUST be subverted, and Cas being able to come to terms with that deal he made all those years ago that has led to so much doubt and anguish for him personally. This time around the act MUST be subverted if it’s to fit the pattern.

The entire problem is Chuck and Amara’s power imbalance, and it’s implied that’s the ORIGINAL problem, and the source of every other problem going all the way back to locking away Amara and hiding the key in Lucifer.

They really have already revisited SO MUCH of their past in the last few season, and are subverting their poor choices and reaching better outcomes. 

  

 

[spn 11.22](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-11.22) [spn like all of it really pffft](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-like-all-of-it-really-pffft) [you can't outrun your past](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/you-can%27t-outrun-your-past) [eventually it all catches up to you and forces you to do it right](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/eventually-it-all-catches-up-to-you-and-forces-you-to-do-it-right) [at least it does if your whole life fits into a narrative structure on a tv show](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/at-least-it-does-if-your-whole-life-fits-into-a-narrative-structure-on-a-tv-show) [Anonymous](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/Anonymous)


	38. Chapter 38

[Jun 1, 2016](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/145265118410/hello-i-read-your-theory-about-upcoming-s12-and-i)

102 notes

**[wanderingcas](https://wanderingcas.tumblr.com/) asked: Hello! I read your theory about upcoming s12 and I was blown away by it, I really hope that's what they're going for. I have a small theory to throw at you and I want to know what you think: any possibility that who he could be pining for that Mildred mentions is Mary?? I know it hasn't been visited a lot in the show, but I think it's been clear that there is a hole in Dean that his mom left and he's been compensating ever since. Just a thought I'm throwing out there :) love your blog!!!**

Hi there, and thank you! ([the stuff I said about s12, you know the really long post with the super-gloaty title](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/144966297500/since-i-essentially-predicted-all-of-s11-on-may), but also the ever growing [s12 speculation tag](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/search/spn+s12+speculation))

I have to admit that I was just thinking about this not five minutes before you sent this, because yeah, we all got an excellent view over the second half of S11 of WHO Dean was pining for, exemplified by his unrelenting mission to save Cas, but now looking back at s11 as a whole, and what s12 is beginning to look like (SO MANY FEMALES! THE DIVINE FEMININE REUNITED WITH THE UNIVERSE! MARY WINCHESTER UNFRIDGED! THE ORIGINAL SOURCE OF MANPAIN SUBVERTED!), I think looking back on it that line (like so much else in Supernatural) has several meanings.

Let’s start with that last Shouty Caps statement I made in the previous paragraph: THE ORIGINAL SOURCE OF MANPAIN SUBVERTED! Because I’m not just talking about the resurrection of Mary, I’m talking about the resurrection and reunion of Chuck with Amara.

The driving force of the entire series up to this point has been the death of Mary in the pilot episode. The driving force of the entire in-show universe had always been the fact that Chuck had long ago locked Amara away. Their whole damn  _universe_  was founded on that source of original manpain. And yeah, Chuck sort of brought it on himself by locking her up in the first place, but he’d always been too afraid for the rest of his creation to even  _think_  about letting her free.

Now that they’ve been reunited, and have agreed that the universe is a better creation, and have learned that love is bigger than just the two of them, I think that’s going to be a huge theme going forward. It was addressed throughout s11 in various ways, different kinds of love, wanting “something more,” by both Sam and Dean (and even by Cas when he wasn’t possessed by Lucifer, since this tangentially goes back to his entire “duty vs desire” ongoing issues, of where he fits in since the angels have so thoroughly rejected him for wanting something more or something better than for him to be a mindless soldier for heaven).

So we’ve had this evolving stuff about love… and love happening in the show for at least the last three seasons now. In the context of the [Heroine’s Journey](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/143027056920/beyond-duality-carver-era-as-a-search-for) Dean’s been on, he’s finally come out the other side from his darkest place, and has been given the reward of reunification with that original Lost Feminine Influence in his life that he’s been grieving and repressing since he was four years old.

*gets distracted reading [this post](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/143596237165/is-it-just-me-or-does-it-seem-like-theyre-laying), and then [this one](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/143537849930/is-it-foreshadowing), from before 11.19 aired)

I’ve been paging through my [Grand Unification via Love Theory](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/Grand+Unification+Via+Love+Theory) tag, and it’s giving me so much hope for what bringing Mary back to the show will mean for Dean. He’s finally admitted that macho false declaration about “no chick flick moments” that he’s subverted over and over again in the subtext with progressively weaker arguments to shakily uphold that Manly Man Performance of himself over the years, and admitting that yeah, he loves chick flicks works as just one more layer of subtext about the return and acceptance of the Feminine (capitalization intentional).

So getting back to 11.11, an episode that was almost entirely about the feminine from start to finish, it serves as a turning point for the entire season (especially when seen as the first of a series, combined with 11.12 and 11.13, which describe VERY DIFFERENT aspects of the feminine, beginning with Mildred’s guidebook to leading a happy and fulfilled life ON HER TERMS, for herself, 11.12 being about family, and 11.13 being about romantic love). Yeah, each of those episodes does describe other aspects of love, like 11.12 involving a false romantic lead being used to manipulate Alex, and 11.13 was about really toxic aspects of obsessive love, but they also serve to show very important lessons about the nature of love in general. Ack, I’ve already written a buttload of stuff about the Season of Love… 

Mildred was framed as a Wise Woman (in the archetypal sense). She even framed a long conversation with Dean on watching the sun set (and the Wise Woman is often associated with the sky, with light). But the only way to truly understand the lessons of the wise woman is to explore and understand the darkest aspects of these things. Which is exactly what Dean was able to do by the end of 11.13, by literally facing a monster that had taken the form of the Darkness-as-Female.

Everything Mildred said to Dean in that episode was significant for his own Heroine’s Journey. He’s been torn down, forced to examine his darker parts and even the DARKEST parts of himself, and Mildred presents him with the simple solution that regardless of all of that, he should do what brings him happiness. She made it sound  _so easy_. That, for the first time possibly ever, Dean is being told that not only can he find some happiness (while he watches a sunset), but that hey, maybe he  _deserves it_. And not just a stolen moment here and there, like enjoying the sunset when they’re not waiting for a monster to hunt at dusk, but maybe  _just because it would be enjoyable_.

It seems so simple, but that was a revolutionary concept for Dean.

While we all pointed to the person Dean was pining for as being obviously Cas back when the episode first aired, and then felt like our theory was confirmed again and again by showing Dean  _actively pining for Cas over the next 10 episodes_ , I don’t think Cas was the  _only_  thing he was pining for.

His Heroine’s Journey (and Cas’s own version of this journey, which is a few steps behind Dean’s but catching up fast) hasn’t just been about one thing, but a very much larger and far more essential thing within himself.

When Dean lost his mother, he was forced to cast a large part of what we value as “maternal” and “feminine” aside and build his Performing Dean mask in order to become the strong, manly, invulnerable hunter John needed him to be. As a result, Dean’s had to diminish and demean and repress everything feminine in himself. I’m not talking about “girly” stuff here, but “Feminine” in the way it relates to “feminism,” the divine archetype of Femininity– equality and balance. I don’t mean that Dean would rather wear a dress and play with dolls and that was somehow squashed out of him. That is 100% NOT what this is about.

This is about Dean’s own personal reunification with Chuck’s equivalent of Amara, the lost feminine. A piece of himself he’d buried and locked away since Mary’s death. After all these years, he can finally confront it and accept it, and in a way, it will enable him to accept all the other kinds of love he’s always pushed away out of fear. Because fear had been a large part of his motivations for pushing love away. Fear of losing people, fear of having people he loves used against him, fear of making them targets, fear of feeling too much only to have it ripped away again, just like Mary was.

And considering Dean’s personal love life over the last 11 seasons, his attitude seems pretty justified. Cassie rejected him when he told her the truth about his life, Lisa and Ben were used by monsters to hurt him SEVERAL TIMES. Jo died  _because she tried to save his life from that hellhound_. Charlie was killed because Sam had involved her in the search for the cure for the Mark of Cain FOR DEAN. He truly had come to believe that he was poison to the people he loved.

So what’s the safest declaration of love he feels he can make? After all of this?

“Brother.”

Because no matter what, Sam has been the ONE AND ONLY constant that he’s allowed himself to love that he trusts enough in that it won’t be ripped away from him, like EVERY OTHER REPRESENTATION OF LOVE IN HIS ENTIRE LIFE.

Like Sam has always returned to him one way or another, so has Cas. And Dean acknowledged it in 11.23. CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW HARD THAT WAS FOR DEAN TO SAY OUT LOUD?! To grant Cas equal status to Sam, the only representation in Dean’s life for unconditional love.

And his reward for understanding unconditional love, and reuniting the Light and Dark (which is one of the major final steps in the Heroine’s Journey, go read that if you haven’t), is to be reunited with his mom, whose death has been the symbol of his own internal “brokenness” when it comes to Love.

This is the point in his journey where he can find acceptance and understanding, and begin to find balance so he can really, truly live up to [Mildred’s advice](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.supernaturalwiki.com%2Findex.php%3Ftitle%3D11.11_Into_the_Mystic&t=M2I1NTcyOTI3MDA4NTIzOTQ4MjI4ODUwYTc4MzBlZjEyM2FkZjM3ZSxjVGxhVzl1cA%3D%3D&b=t%3AgQ2jjt29OviG-kJJpyAysQ&p=http%3A%2F%2Fmittensmorgul.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F145265118410%2Fhello-i-read-your-theory-about-upcoming-s12-and-i&m=1): 

> Follow your heart. You do that, all the rest just figures itself out. I did that, I followed my heart. Traveled the world, made people smile, forget about their problems for a while. And then my heart said, ‘well, you’re done.’ I had my fill and retired and I love it. 

  

 

[spn 11.11](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-11.11) [spn 11.23](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-11.23) [spn s12 speculation](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-s12-speculation) [grand unification via love theory](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/grand-unification-via-love-theory) [mary f. winchester](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/mary-f.-winchester) [oh dean](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/oh-dean) [destiel](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/destiel) [yeah because there's a bit of that in there too](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/yeah-because-there%27s-a-bit-of-that-in-there-too) [heroine's journey](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/heroine%27s-journey) [here have my belated thoughts on the whole love... and love](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/here-have-my-belated-thoughts-on-the-whole-love...-and-love) [the scheherazade of supernatural](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/the-scheherazade-of-supernatural) [using your words](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/using-your-words) [shamilto10](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/shamilto10)


	39. Chapter 39

#  [Dean as the “Perfect Vessel” and how it saved the universe](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/145724727505/dean-as-the-perfect-vessel-and-how-it-saved-the)

[Jun 10, 2016](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/145724727505/dean-as-the-perfect-vessel-and-how-it-saved-the)

120 notes

Dean obviously played a vital role in reuniting Chuck and Amara, light and dark, and I’ve been having a lot of thoughts on why. In a really gross oversimplification, I made the comment, “Amara wanted to be with Dean, Chuck wanted to be him,” which is a cliche often applied to rock stars and other popular famous people, but is literally true in Dean’s case here.

These two polar opposite forces that essentially make up everything in the universe both found something valuable in Dean. But this wasn’t the first time Dean’s been elevated as a prime example of Humanity, to the point where even using “Dean” and “Humanity” in a single sentence has probably already conjured pages and pages worth of associations for anyone who’s spent more than a few minutes in fandom. It’s really convenient, because it saves me a lot of typing here. :P

*for anyone scratching their head and going “HUH?” please see: 1.12, 2.13, the entire s4-5 apocalypse arc, 6.11, Dean’s time in Purgatory,9.02 and Abaddon’s proclamation that he was the perfect vessel, 9.11 and the start of the MoC arc, as well as Metatron’s declarations and all the other angels’ declarations that Cas has always only cared about saving this one man, s10 which was largely about saving this one man, and which was accomplished in 10.23 to the detriment of the rest of the universe, and s11 which was largely about Dean’s “atonement” for all the sins of his own past, the shortcomings of his ancestors via his familial history with the MoC, coming to terms with himself as a whole being with both dark and light parts, and finally righting the original wrong done to the universe by reuniting Chuck and Amara. THAT was a really long sentence but likely saved me 5k of writing, so BOOM.*

Bonus:

[Originally posted by cutiebymon](https://tmblr.co/Z1Vhmq1Mm8LEi)

I know this line of thinking has fueled so many “Divine Dean” headcanons over the years (some of which I’ve even participated in), but looking back over the years, and especially in light of Chuck’s revelations since 11.20, I am now absolutely convinced that seeing Dean as anything other than the apex of Humanity is selling him short. And that includes reframing him as divine in any way.

After getting to know Chuck (as god who PREFERS to be called Chuck and perpetuate his own sham of borrowed humanity, via his mimicry of everything we’ve always associated as “Dean things”) and Amara, I can’t help but see them both as mind-bogglingly powerful, but also by nature extremely limited beings. They spent an eternity existing in perfect balance with one another before Chuck locked her away in order to, in his words, make “something more than just us, something better than us.”

Not only that, but at the very end of the universe, both he and Amara had turned all of their attention toward Dean. Since Amara first appeared to Dean, she’s been “fascinated” by him. Having never known anything other than the perfect balance she’d always enjoyed with her brother (until she’d been locked away), it’s easy to see why she (like practically every other character ever) was also drawn to Dean and fascinated by him. After all, he represented the only living being who’d ever been a vessel for the Darkness (until the MoC was removed).

During early s11, there was rampant speculation that Amara may have already damaged Dean’s soul in some way, or even consumed it entirely. There was also speculation that EVERYTHING that Dean was experiencing was proof that some part of his soul was missing, or that some part of the Mark was still affecting him (and hence his “bond” with Amara). I personally never believed that Dean’s soul had been stolen or damaged, but I did struggle with explaining away their presumed bond.

In hindsight, I don’t think Amara’s bond was anything more than her attempt to control him, with the same sort of power that Chuck was throwing around toward the end of the season by booping Sam and Dean around the bunker. Granted, Chuck didn’t directly attempt to mind-control Dean, but that certainly doesn’t mean he was incapable of doing it if he so chose to. He just had more respect for the free will he’d included in the kit to even try it.

I honestly, now, believe that Amara’s “bond” with Dean was entirely of her own making. It may have fed into Dean’s borderline suicidal desire to just end it all and fling himself into the sun (as he asked Cas to do for him should he lose control again in s10, and as he asked Death to do for him in 10.23). Because the longer the season progressed, and certainly by the end of 11.17, Dean had all but become  _immune_  to Amara’s power to seduce him (see 11.18, when she first realized she’d lost the ability to control him, and 11.21 when she began to question  _why_ , even though she mistakenly attributed it to Chuck’s influence over him, we already saw Dean reject that desire for peaceful oblivion play out before Chuck even entered the picture).

Dean spent most of s11 confronting not only his self-destructive tendencies, but also beginning to wonder what really might make him happy. And in large part, he was pushed into that kind of introspection because his fear of succumbing to Amara drove him to it. And of course to took being entirely backed into a corner for Dean to begin confronting himself this critically. What took him from 11.04′s:

> SAM: Really? You don’t … Ever want something more?  
> DEAN: I’m sorry, have you met us? We’re batting a whopping zero in domestic life, man. Goose eggs.  
> SAM: You don’t ever think about something? Not marriage or whatever. But … Something? You know, with a hunter? Somebody who understands the life?  
> DEAN: Have you not heard a single word Bob’s been singing about? You’re tired. I can tell. You’re exhausted. Well, I’m still wired, so I’m gonna pull over, get some gas. You hop in the back, get some Z’s ‘cause, buddy, you earned 'em. Proud of ya! Piper. Mmm. Man, she smelled good, too.

to 11.19′s, “What’s it like, settling down with a hunter?” Dredging down deep all the way back to the pilot episode’s “No chick flick moments,” to finally admitting he loves chick flicks.

[S11 hasn’t been about foreshadowing at all](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/143546920455/is-it-foreshadowing). (yes I’ve been yelling that since April) It’s been about slowly and steadily dismantling Dean’s past alongside the dismantling of all the wrongs that Chuck’s original act of locking Amara away has led to, and the subsequent  _unlocking_  of her via the final removal of the MoC and its influence over humanity (and especially over Dean himself). It’s been about Dean really beginning to understand himself as separate from his identity as a tool, as just a hunter, or as a pawn in a much larger game.

In order to unlock his full potential  _as an individual, and not as a tool for divine forces, or even as a divine sort of force himself, but as the very basic definition of Humanity itself_ , he also had to find balance for the Darkness he’d harbored by taking on “light,” and in his case that light took the form of a hundred thousand other human souls.

For Dean, that was the final step in, not rejecting divinity, but exemplifying himself as Humanity, which both Chuck and Amara have already indicated through their actions is without a doubt  _better than they are_. For all humanity’s flaws, for all that we’re not perfect,  _perfection is not the goal_.

Supernatural has NEVER held divinity to be superior to humanity. Divinity is inflexible, unchanging, incapable of growth. Humanity needed to evolve for anything truly interesting to happen in this universe, for music and poetry and art and passion and– yes hatred and war and loss and death happen too, but the entire point is that despite all that, we still reach for impossible and glorious things. And isn’t that incredible?

So for me, anyway, Dean is finally beginning to understand all of this, too. Yeah, he’s always talked the talk, choosing humanity and free will and people over any sort of a Divine Plan, but in 11.23, armed as the ultimate weapon against the Darkness and filled with the light of humanity, he chose acceptance, forgiveness, and understanding over his entire history of being labeled a weapon, a tool, and a pawn.

And because Chuck and Amara both used him as their example of “something better than us,” Dean’s choice in that moment saved everything.

Chuck said this to Amara in 11.22 when she accused him of creating the universe only so that he could feel “big”:

> Chuck: That’s true. But it isn’t the whole truth. There’s a value, a glory in creation… that’s greater and truer than my pride or my ego. Call it grace, call it being! Whatever it is, it didn’t come from my hands. It was there… waiting to be born. It just is, as you and I just were. Since you’ve been freed, I know that you’ve seen it. Felt it.

And then Chuck looks to Dean, and then back to Amara. The unspoken, “And that’s where you saw and felt it, right there,” directed specifically and wholly at Dean Winchester.

They’ve both held Dean up as the reason that the universe will be okay with them gone from it now, not because of his essential Divinity as a replacement for their own, but because Humanity has now been elevated to a place of equality with the two forces of divinity that humanity holds in balance within itself.

Humanity is not only a representation of Light or Dark, Creation or Destruction, but the realization that there are also an infinite number of points between the two, and it’s only balanced between those things that life can happen at all.

Going forward into s12, I feel like Dean is finally free of the responsibility the universe laid on his shoulders to be that perfect vessel. He’s finally brought the whole journey full circle, the river has found its source, and wherever he goes from here is entirely, for once in his entire life, fully his own free choice. And isn’t that incredible?

Not to say that he doesn’t still have a long way to go  _personally_ , but as far as ever being considered as merely a “vessel,” I think his duty to the universe is well and truly fulfilled.

There’s another side to this about Dean’s ongoing journey of self-discovery that’s really only just begun now that this burden is gone, but I’ll explore that elsewhere since this is already so long. There’s also the matter of where this leaves Sam, and what it all means for Cas and his own connection to the divine as well as humanity. But that’s for another post.

  

 

[spn s11](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-s11) [oh DEAN](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/oh-DEAN) [who is amara?](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/who-is-amara%3F) [if you say 'mysterious ways' so help me i will kick your ass](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/if-you-say-%27mysterious-ways%27-so-help-me-i-will-kick-your-ass) [he's no longer his father's blunt little instrument he's a fully fledged human being now](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/he%27s-no-longer-his-father%27s-blunt-little-instrument-he%27s-a-fully-fledged-human-being-now) [and that was the true culmination of s11 and i think it's beautiful](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/and-that-was-the-true-culmination-of-s11-and-i-think-it%27s-beautiful) [*mittens attempts to become one with the universe amid the sea of duality*](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/%2Amittens-attempts-to-become-one-with-the-universe-amid-the-sea-of-duality%2A) [Grand Unification via Love Theory](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/Grand-Unification-via-Love-Theory)


	40. Chapter 40

[Oct 8, 2016](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/151502323250/so-the-rewatch-with-mr-mittens-might-be-just)

29 notes

So the rewatch with Mr. Mittens might be just about over for now. He goes back to work tomorrow, and he’s already passed out cold tonight…

We did watch 11.09, 11.10, and 11.11 today, and I’m currently (well, I’m halfway through it and stopped to type this) watching 11.13 myself.

I think I might be annoying Mr. Mittens with my constant screaming at the tv. (NO CAS DON’T LISTEN TO HER YOU’RE NOT EXPENDABLE! ROWENA LOVE DOESN’T MAKE YOU WEAK… “VULNERABLE” YES, BUT NOT WEAK… SHIT DEAN YOU ARE VULNERABLE NOT MILDRED BECAUSE IT’S NOT ABOUT HER PHYSICAL HEART CONDITION BUT YOUR EMOTIONAL ONE OH MY GOD… OH MY GOD DEAN FOLLOW YOUR HEART. YES LOVE HURTS BECAUSE IT IS NOT ABOUT CONTROL AND MANIPULATION AND THE QUAREEN ISN’T ABOUT LOVE IT’S A DEATH CURSE NOT A LOVE SPELL DAMMIT)

There’s also been SO MUCH in all of s11 about responsibility and who’s at fault…

Sam tells the woman who cast the “love spell” that was actually a death curse that it was NOT her fault. It was the fault of the witch who lied to her about the spell’s purpose (sort of like how Dean was lied to or manipulated into taking on the Mark). Just like Cas is not to blame for trying to do the right thing by saying yes to Lucifer but he was also manipulated and lied to after having been told he was worse than useless and the fact that he kills angels is one of the NICEST bits of gossip floating around heaven about him.

Rowena had implied to Dean back in 11.03 that it was HIS fault the darkness was released (Rowena: Your eyes, so burdened. What happened precisely when I removed the Mark? The book wasn’t specific. Yes, I read quite a bit of it. What new hell has Dean Winchester released upon the world?) But it was HER spell that released the darkness. Dean wanted to keep it contained. I mean, it wasn’t actually a long-term tenable solution to the mark, but Dean nearly beat Cas to death trying to STOP them from removing the Mark… It’s not exactly Dean’s fault the darkness was released.

It was, however, at least a little bit reasonable to direct some of the blame at Melissa in 11.13. And just like the spell she unknowingly cast, and the monster it conjured, the entire situation there was about manipulation and control; not love. Blargh, I wrote something about this the other day, but having seen all these episodes right in a row really punches this message home, so to speak.

Hi there, evil heart-punching monster!

I forgot how much of the midseason was LITERALLY about hearts. And hands (the handprint in blood on the Impala in 11.04, the bloody handprint shape on the kettle bell weight in 11.07, the bloody handprint on the Banshee’s shoulder in 11.11, the bloody hand-through-the-chest removal of the hearts in 11.13).

And in the very next episode we learn about the Hands of God. It seems like a viable weapon, and somewhere in that run of episodes there seems to be a shift where the hands take center stage and the heart stuff moves to the background, but it’s still very much present. The fact that Dean’s heartbroken to learn about Cas and basically spends every waking moment trying to find a way to save him while Sam’s ostensibly devoted himself to finding a way to “kill” Amara… when the solution wasn’t even theirs to find. They’re not at fault, for any of this. This is all on God. Just like the quareen was all on the witch who controlled it BY KEEPING ITS HEART LOCKED IN A BOX.

It was never about KILLING the Darkness, because she’s NOT a quareen. It was about returning her heart to her. Dean never had it. Amara saw something in Dean that made her THINK he did, but it was only the reflection of Chuck she saw in him and wanted.

Dean was created to house Archangels, Chuck’s brightest lights in all of his creation, but instead had become a vessel for the darkness through the Mark. He represented a little of each of them. And he made them both see it. Like Charlie did, Dean found a way to live with both the light and the dark. Balance. But the “people” truly to blame for all of this finally stepped up.

Okay where did this post go off the rails? *scrolls up to like the third paragraph* whoops.

Yeah, so Mr. Mittens still doesn’t see it, and frankly I’m just about at the point where imma just yell IT’S CAS ALREADY DAMMIT. DEAN IS PINING FOR CAS YOU MORON. *sighs again* *no really i just sighed really loudly and overdramatically*

Okay, going back down to watch the rest of 11.13 now.

  

 

[spn 11.11](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-11.11) [spn 11.13](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-11.13) [and hands and hearts are part of that i'll just slap it on here anyway](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/and-hands-and-hearts-are-part-of-that-i%27ll-just-slap-it-on-here-anyway) [this season's getting handsy](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/this-season%27s-getting-handsy) [follow your heart dean](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/follow-your-heart-dean) [because why not maybe the lock and key are a function of hands and hearts](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/because-why-not-maybe-the-lock-and-key-are-a-function-of-hands-and-hearts) [huh that tag popped up when i typed in 'hands and hearts' and i wondered where i'd used it before](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/huh-that-tag-popped-up-when-i-typed-in-%27hands-and-hearts%27-and-i-wondered-where-i%27d-used-it-before) [and it was meta i wrote on my birthday about how all of this must come together including chuck and amara](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/and-it-was-meta-i-wrote-on-my-birthday-about-how-all-of-this-must-come-together-including-chuck-and-amara) [spn 11.21 aired on my birthday btw so this was just before the episode aired huh](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-11.21-aired-on-my-birthday-btw-so-this-was-just-before-the-episode-aired-huh) [Grand Unification via Love Theory](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/Grand-Unification-via-Love-Theory) [ah my favoritest tag ever](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/ah-my-favoritest-tag-ever) [oddly enough that old post was also tagged](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/oddly-enough-that-old-post-was-also-tagged) [we need to get all three of that crap](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/we-need-to-get-all-three-of-that-crap) [okay okay i'm done ranting about it (for now)](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/okay-okay-i%27m-done-ranting-about-it-%28for-now%29) [eta after all that ranting i forgot the primary tag here:](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/eta-after-all-that-ranting-i-forgot-the-primary-tag-here%3A) [casual viewer stories with mr mittens](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/casual-viewer-stories-with-mr-mittens)


	41. Chapter 41

Mar 10, 2017

66 notes

**Anonymous asked: Hi! So, does this mean that Sam has completed the first of the Trials for closing the gates of hell? Or does he have to intend to close them?**

Hi there! I’ll start out with a few comments, and then I’ll try to answer this as best I can. First, I am in Downtown Migraineland right now. I apologize in advance for any weird incoherency in this reply…

(note from the future, i.e. nearly 4 hours after I started trying to piece this reply together: My migraine is gone, but this reply went into A LOT OF DETAIL about the parallels not only in this episode, but in all of s12. This ended up being really weird meta on what I think Dabb’s Grand Plan for the entire season is hinging on. IT IS LONG. Just a warning.)

I think a lot of s12 has been paralleling A LOT of the past, turning it inside out, applying it through a different lens or allowing characters to see these things from a different side, and resolving things in a better way.

That said, I think they’ve been referring back to the Demon Tablet Trials and the Angel Fall Spell (because the angel fall spell was a spell, not Trials. Metatron confirmed that). But all the elements of those things are being addressed in different ways, and paralleled to ~similar~ things happening in s12… I’m struggling to try and put this together in a linear narrative that even comes close to connecting all the dots. There’s SO MUCH going on in this episode, I’m not sure that’s really possible, but HECK I WILL TRY.

(second note from the future: this is about 3k long, so it’s going under a cut. THERE IS SO MUCH)

(i am typing this from the floor where I’m curled up around pictures of Andrew Dabb and Davy Perez while weeping gently)

Let’s start our parallel journey with 8.14, Trial and Error. The episode that began with Dean reveling in his new room in the bunker, the fact he’s “nesting” (and one episode after he gloried in the shower room’s water pressure), where he glared daggers at Sam for tossing a gum wrapper on his floor while talking about how wonderful it was to live in a place with no weird stains or odd smells.

That ENTIRE script was flipped in the beginning of 12.15… Dean’s just covered in blood, sits right down on the furniture, drops Lucille (I’m calling it Lucille, but it’s got other relevant parallels I’ll get to in a sec…) on the library table while SAM is the one reacting to the “offense” that Dean’s presenting here– right down to the weird stains and gross smells.

***Necessary Digression #1**

(aside to note that bit of siren he picked out of his hair sorta reminded me of Chuck pulling Castiel’s tooth out of his hair in 5.01… But those “back to back to back” hunts that Sam and Dean just got back from– a ghoul, a wraith, and a siren– ALSO HAVE HISTORY that really needs to be mentioned here…)

(see what I mean about this being impossible to address in a linear fashion?)

**ghoul** : 4.19. (written by Dabb fyi) Family/not family. that whole episode dealt with finding out about a deep family secret (the existence of Adam) that was all wrapped in a deceptive betrayal. Adam was already dead, being impersonated by a ghoul. Sam and Dean had been divided over whether to indoctrinated Adam into the hunting life for his own protection (Sam), or to keep him out of it entirely for his own protection (Dean). But in the end it was already too late. It had been a trap set for John, but Sam and Dean ended up tidying up the ghoul case that had led John to meet Adam’s mother in the first place. John had tried Dean’s approach (keeping Adam in the dark about the monsters for his own sake), and it hadn’t saved him. Frankly, if John HAD told Adam about the monsters, he might’ve been able to save himself.

6.10: Samuel attempts to feed Sam and Dean to a couple of ghouls (aah, the sweet bite of family betrayal)

6.16: Not exactly ghouls, but Bobby mentioned a “ghoul-wraith smorgasbord” as one of the unusual monster activity things that eventually led them to Eve. Also, that whole episode was about the monster inside (literally! Khan worm! possessed by monsters!) and family betrayal.

**wraith** : 5.11 (also written by Dabb): Sam and Dean get themselves committed to a mental hospital by telling the unvarnished truth about their lives (>.>) in order to help an old hunter friend of John’s. The wraith “poisons” both Sam and Dean, and even though they were perfectly “sane” when they entered the hospital, the wraith’s poison made them crazy.Made them fight against invisible monsters of their own mind’s creation. But Sam and Dean soon realized how they were being affected, fought through the illusions, and save themselves.

6.19: The “Jefferson Starships” that Eve was making (hybrid monsters combined of all sorts of different monster bits) had been part wraith. Dean let Eve DELIBERATELY bite/infect him with this monster mix because he’d already drunk the phoenix ash that would in turn poison HER. She just happened to be wearing Mary Winchester’s face while she did. Family (in a horrifically mutated fashion… basically a lie), monster possession. Dean finally turning the tables and turning HIMSELF into the weapon that killed Eve.

**siren** : 4.14. aah, the infamous siren episode. Love… and love. Deception, family betrayal, and a monster that feeds on lust. Dean believed (wrongly) that Sam had been infected, but really DEAN had been the one “seduced” by the siren– and his siren had not been a “hot chick.” It took Bobby interfering to slay the thing.

7.08: when Dean visits Sam and Becky at their apartment after their wedding, Dean accuses Sam of not acting like himself, and Becky gets defensive asking if Dean thinks she’s a witch, or a siren.

12.11: Sam tells Dean who’s lost his memories about some of the things they hunt, and Dean’s fascinated by the fact that sirens aren’t all “hot chicks” 

AND I AM REALLY DYING TO KNOW IF THAT BIT OF SIREN IN DEAN’S HAIR WAS A HOT CHICK OR A DARK HAIRED, BLUE EYE’D DUDE.

***/digression #1- back to the point… for now**

So here’s a list of the other relevant bits of 8.14 that were addressed in 12.15:

  * Hellhound glasses: I think we can all agree that we have been waiting years to see these things again.
  * multiple people attacked by hellhounds. in 8.14 they’d all sold their souls though. in 12.15 NEITHER Gwen nor her dead boyfriend did. That hellhound was deliberately released as a distraction by Crowley’s idiot minions so they could figure out what he was up to (and they found Lucifer chained up in Crowley’s secret room there)
  * so these people were attacked for NO REASON. They were innocent. They didn’t deserve to be attacked and killed just because they happened to be existing there >.> (sort of like the random monsters the BMoL intend to exterminate don’t deserve to die just for existing… but I digress, and will digress back to this point again in a bit…)
  * the goal in 8.14 was for Dean to kill the hellhound to start the trials, but SAM was the one who managed it in the end. The goal in 12.15 was for Dean and Crowley to hunt the hellhound while Sam protected Gwen (driving her off to safety in Baby)… but in the end it fell to Sam to kill the beast
  * the hellhound in 8.14 HAD BEEN CROWLEY’S. It answered to him. Now the hellhound in 12.15 ONLY ANSWERED TO LUCIFER. Basically, the Alpha hellhound. And instead of fighting against Crowley, Dean’s fighting alongside him while they both discuss how much they’ve changed. They’ve both moved a little more toward center– to that grey area where they’re both a little good and both a little bad like Meg and Cas in 8.17, but also Dean and Crowley have “rubbed off all over each other >.>



BUT HERE IS A KEY DIFFERENCE! Yes, Sam killed the hellhound and saved the “girl of the week,” BUT instead of it being the catalyst for him to behind hiding stuff from dean (the damage of the hell trials), it becomes the catalyst for him BEING HONEST with Dean… INVERSION!

Also, thinking back to 12.14 where Sam killed the Alpha Vampire, he’s now also killed the “Alpha Hellhound.”

***Necessary Digression #2:**

back to 6.19 for a quick moment. Eve, mother of all the monsters. But apparently God created Hellhounds but considered them a failed experiment that he tried to wipe out, only to have Lucifer keep one for himself and twist it into the entire lineage of hellhounds we know. I’m trying to puzzle through the lot of this, now that Mary is clearly being paralleled to Ramsey the Hellhound, which lizbob and I are discussing in the chattybubbles:

> The theme of the season is clearly motherhood  
> how does she relate to Mary though :P  
> I mean the whole pregnant thing makes it sound omre like Kelly
> 
> mittensmorgul  
> yeah… but Mary “birthed” the entire plot of the series in more than one way  
> though none of it was actually her fault (like it wasn’t actually ramsey’s fault that she was let out of her cage)  
> she was just doing what hellhounds do  
> when they’re masterless
> 
> elizabethrobertajones  
> true  
> And this is the whole attack dog thing  
> mary, Dean AND Cas all get it
> 
> mittensmorgul  
> I am having shades of Eve (since she died wearing Mary’s face)

[…] where we talked about God having created the Hellhounds…

> then again, he kept trying to create “monsters” to keep the world in balance. Every Apex species needs something to keep it in check  
> I think “Eve” was his balance there, creating the monsters to balance humanity
> 
> elizabethrobertajones  
> Yeah  
> and 12x14 discussed that as well  
> how they’d been in balance

And Dean had unknowingly been on Sam’s BMoL leash the entire episode. All those “back to back to back” hunts that Dean came back from covered in blood, wielding “his father’s weapon.”

***Necessary Digression #3– and yes I’m aware we’re still mid-digression #2… bear with me here:**

Dean apparently clobbered those three monsters mentioned above with a barbed-wire wrapped baseball bat that he said “Dad loved this thing” or whatever. Yes, haha, a reference to Negan. But that blunt, bloody instrument was also a major parallel to early s8– when Dean came back from Purgatory (that he referred to as “pure”) COVERED in the blood of all sorts of monsters, while Sam remained “clean.” That baseball bat made a nice stand-in for Dean’s purgatory weapon, no?

Dean telling Sam about his time in Purgatory, describing it as 360 degree combat, cutting a bloody swath through every monster in the place…

And Sam hit a dog.

THIS IS EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE IN 12.14!!!

Sam is taking Dean out on all these bloody hunts and hiding stuff about the source here. Meanwhile Sam’s hanging out with a veterinarian (student… close enough), but instead of hitting the dog, THE DOG HIT HIM. Literally, jumped all over Baby.

So going right back to the beginning of s8, i.e. the part of the story where Sam and Dean began to think that they could change the entire world to make it “safer,” to stop the supernatural from even existing on Earth (by slamming the gates of hell, altering the entire balance of nature).

BUT THIS TIME IT’S HAPPENING IN A DIFFERENT WAY.

The BMoL are trying the same sort of cosmic adjustment, committing monster genocide in the name of “the greater good” that got Sam and Dean wrapped up in four years of “cosmic consequences” that they’re only NOW beginning to recover from.

Sam nearly dying, the angel fall, Cas losing his grace, shoving Gadreel down Sam’s gullet, Metatron destroying heaven, Dean taking on the Mark… right down the line to releasing the Darkness and then reconciling Amara and Chuck to balance and save the universe.

I mean, Dabb is just killing me with what he’s doing here. I’ve now been working on this reply for the last 3 hours…

> mittensmorgul  
> I am STILL working on my first ask message, where I’m tryin gto sort through ALL the pies he[’s got his fingers in…
> 
> elizabethrobertajones  
> sort of belatedly realising  
> he’s genuinely got a finger in ever freakin’ pie in the show
> 
> elizabethrobertajones  
> Dabb JUST tying up his OWN loose ends  
> is actually tidying up the ENTIRE show
> 
> mittensmorgul  
> this is a turducken wrapped in a piecaken wrapped in a croissookie
> 
> elizabethrobertajones  
> Dabb era is season 4 - present  
> hahahahaha  
> is that your new Dabb era tag
> 
> mittensmorgul  
> should be  
> to think i had reduced it to just a linzer torte  
> it’s everything
> 
> elizabethrobertajones  
> yeah
> 
> mittensmorgul  
> Just as I typed that, Rowena on screen said “It’s MEGA.”

***/digression #3**

***back to digression #2**

***actually, let’s end digression #2 here as well…**

Imma try to stay on point from here on out. Let’s see how well I do…

This isn’t about restarting the trials. This isn’t about recreating the angel fall spell. This is all about going back to revisit these things that ended up being Cosmic Consequences™ level MISTAKES. Giving everyone a chance to face these things again, in a different way, and make better choices. They’re in the process of finding another way.

The last little bit of my chat with lizbob might give you an idea of where I think this season is headed, and it all boils down to love… and love. (edited a bit because REALLY LONG and rambly, and there was a lot of “yeah” and “huh” sorts of comments through here…):

> elizabethrobertajones: Joshua seems nice and all but God related to him as a gardner just as he related to Metatron as a writer
> 
> mittensmorgul: after he locked up the darkness, he was trying to create that balance on his own, but he really lacked the finesse to do it properly
> 
> elizabethrobertajones: Hm. and the writing is controlling the narrative on a BIG scale
> 
> elizabethrobertajones: gardening, if you were controlling the world, would be clipping it into shape. like just tidying it up taking out some weeds. like say… eliminating all monsters
> 
> mittensmorgul: but if we’re about balance and finding better ways, and Chuck’s still talking to Joshua… now that he’s reunited with Amara maybe things CAN be better now?  
> hopefully?
> 
> mittensmorgul: BUT CHUCK SAID THAT DEAN WAS THE ONE CARRYING THE STORY NOW
> 
> elizabethrobertajones: don’t know if Joshua is still talking to God :P  
> yeah
> 
> mittensmorgul: he put the earth in DEAN’S hands
> 
> elizabethrobertajones: Dean gets to decide what happens and he doesn’t approve >.>
> 
> mittensmorgul: Dean’s the gardener now. I think he likes the weeds
> 
> elizabethrobertajones: And he tends to the garden in the traditional ways which WORK and keep a good sort of peace  
> he relates to the weeds  
> knows some dandelions can be pretty
> 
> mittensmorgul: he thinks he’s one of the weeds
> 
> elizabethrobertajones: no need to rip them ALL up  
> yeah >.>  
> poor Dean
> 
> mittensmorgul: heck, most of the “weeds” are food for the bees  
> balance
> 
> elizabethrobertajones: CAS SAW IT ALL  
> back in 7x21  
> the whole plan  
> it was perfect
> 
> mittensmorgul: yep  
> And Chuck CONVENIENTLY left Cas out of his description to Dean about the world being left in his hands (and Sam’s)  
> BUT CAS HADN’T FIGURED OUT HIS PLACE YET  
> He’s still struggling to figure it out  
> BUT WE ALL KNOW HIS PLACE IS WITH THE WINCHESTERS
> 
> elizabethrobertajones: yeah
> 
> mittensmorgul: He’s the third piece of the triptych here
> 
> elizabethrobertajones: he loves them  
> done deal  
> well he needs a sense of HOME  
> and he’s already done the whole I love you thing  
> like
> 
> mittensmorgul: Dean’s the firewall, sam and cas are the two sides
> 
> elizabethrobertajones: what else needs to happen
> 
> mittensmorgul: love… and love
> 
> elizabethrobertajones: (marriage propsal)
> 
> mittensmorgul: yep
> 
> elizabethrobertajones: like the next big step :P  
> he’s already platonically embedded in the family  
> what’s the next motivation to live with them and call them home if the question is STILL OPEN  
> AFTEr that
> 
> mittensmorgul: he’s still trying to figure out what family and FAMILY mean to him  
> hence his trip back to heaven

So onward to Sam’s battle with the TRUTH, and how it relates to veterinarians and dogs he’s hit (or who have hit him).

Well, this time around, the dog hit HIM. The veterinarian knows part of the story. She knows the monsters are out there, but she very specifically does not know certain things… like… she thinks Crowley seemed “nice.” Pffft

BUT SHE ALSO STEPPED UP AND SAVED SAM in more ways than one. First her speech about honesty, and how it was her deception (that she loved her boyfriend) that had gotten him killed. If she’d only told him the truth, they wouldn’t have been out there camping together where the monster found them. Instead of just breaking his heart, she now feels like she has his blood on her hands, which is a far worse sort of guilt.

When she finally confessed the truth to Sam, she was able to take back her agency. She saved Sam, whacking the hellhound with the green cooler.

*gives props to the props* the green cooler saves the day! :P

Sam lost his glasses in this fight, too. He was fighting blind, against an invisible enemy he could only really see by following its tracks in the dust. 

And the episode ends in a tidy inversion of how it began. (pffft, tidy…)

SAM is now covered in blood, and Dean is clean.

Now Sam has his chance to “come clean” with Dean.

Sure, Dean doesn’t know everything yet, but the image is coming more into focus. Sam and Dean are getting closer to being on the same page here.

(also, Mick is in Sam’s phone as Frodo, while Mary had the MoL in hers as “hobbits.” I’m sensing a theme here)

Sam had been lying to Dean about where all their hunts were coming from, essentially leaving Dean in the “hellhound on a leash” role. But now that Sam has told him the truth, Dean can cut that leash. He’s not just the attack dog anymore.

There may still be truths that need to come out, but at least Sam and Dean are nearly back to a level playing field here:

> **Dean** : What do you want me say? Do I like it? No. Do I trust them? Hell no. But you’re right. We work with people we don’t trust all the time. Hell, I just Liam Neeson’d it up with Crowley. So, if you wanna give this a shot, then fine. But the minute, and I mean the second, something feels off, we bail.

Kinda makes me wonder what Dean might feel was “off” enough to follow through…

Finding out Ketch killed Magda? Finding out the truth about the Colt? Learning about the Monster Genocide Agenda? Or maybe just seeing behind the curtain that Sam saw through about just how incompetent the MoL’s intel really is…

Dean’s already seen their “attack dog” in action (Ketch), and he was not impressed. Now that Dean’s been let off his leash and been given part of the truth like a PERSON with AGENCY, and is able to make his own choices based on the fact that their info is coming from the MoL, I wonder if he’ll start piecing all of those sketchy details together for himself.

I have a feeling he’s gonna have a BAD feeling right quick…

  

 

[Anonymous](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/Anonymous) [spn s12 spoilers](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-s12-spoilers) [spn 12.15](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-12.15) [spn s12 speculation](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-s12-speculation) [this is an andrew dabb appreciation blog (except when it comes to car stuff)](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/this-is-an-andrew-dabb-appreciation-blog-%28except-when-it-comes-to-car-stuff%29) [davy perez appreciation tag](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/davy-perez-appreciation-tag) [revenge of the subtext](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/revenge-of-the-subtext) [s12 as s6 redux](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/s12-as-s6-redux) [but really this is s12 as EVERYDAMNTHING redux](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/but-really-this-is-s12-as-EVERYDAMNTHING-redux) [here have my belated thoughts on the whole love... and love](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/here-have-my-belated-thoughts-on-the-whole-love...-and-love) [grand unification via love theory](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/grand-unification-via-love-theory) [using your words](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/using-your-words) [subversion and inversion](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/subversion-and-inversion) [the scheherazade of supernatural](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/the-scheherazade-of-supernatural) [men of letters vs hunters](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/men-of-letters-vs-hunters) [i mean really every. damn. thing.](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/i-mean-really-every.-damn.-thing.) [spn 5.11](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-5.11)


	42. Chapter 42

# Chuck Amuck

May 18, 2016

190 notes

Rewatching 4.22 and 5.01 is so strange now. This probably applies to any episode with Chuck in it, but crap, does this new knowledge cast Chuck in a darker role (no pun intended) post 11.21.

Before the final two episodes of s11 air, I just wanted this creepy feeling noted, just in case we’re suddenly forced to cast Chuck back into the light (that time it was intended).

At the end of 4.22 when Cas goes to Chuck for help and he argues that this wasn’t supposed to happen, Cas tells him “we’re making it up as we go.” As Chuck the Prophet, he might have some vague info on where Sam and Lilith are having their showdown, and would’ve told Cas about the abbey to send Dean there, which is exactly what happened on the show.

AS GOD, he could’ve sent Dean DIRECTLY TO SAM. He could’ve told Cas Sam’s exact location within the abbey and prevented Lucifer’s release.  _I don’t think he WANTED to stop it_. And isn’t that just horrifying.

When the archangel (I assume Raphael?) comes to Chuck’s house and explodes Cas the first time, I’m not even sure he considered putting Cas back together at that point. Yeah, he saved Sam and Dean, but they were still necessary for the Grand Plan. So what made Chuck reassemble Cas that first time? Dean covertly draws a banishing sigil and blows Zachariah back to heaven, and then:

Not only does Chuck now get it that Cas has learned something from Dean with the “we’re making it up as we go,” that Cas had learned free will despite his reprogramming, and learned it specifically because of DEAN, he has Dean here call Cas his FRIEND.

Chuck would KNOW what Cas has done to Dean and how Dean convinced him to rebel (even as a prophet he’d be privy to what went on in the Green Room), but as God he had the power to change the grand plan.

He’d already ensured that Lucifer would be freed. If Chuck had  _really_  wanted to stop that plan, he’d already had MULTIPLE chances to do it (back in 4.18 when he first met Sam, one covert boop could’ve purged him of the demon blood and freed him from that little problem. He could’ve told them then and there what Lilith’s true part in the plan was, or just ended her himself. Even if he still wanted to maintain his cover as Chuck. he could’ve blamed it on some mysterious factor of the demon being too close to the Prophet and maybe God stepped in to protect him… WHATEVER.

Point is, Chuck was writing a story, and it hadn’t finished yet. The characters may have been interacting with him and trying to convince him to write a different ending, but they were all still entirely at his mercy.

It’s like that Daffy Duck cartoon where the artist is messing with Daffy through the whole thing. [Duck Amuck](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fen.wikipedia.org%2Fwiki%2FDuck_Amuck&t=NDRjZWIwZDdhMDQ4YzU3NmUyZGE0NDM2MzUyMjAwNTkxN2IxMmExYywwcm91TDRreQ%3D%3D&b=t%3AgQ2jjt29OviG-kJJpyAysQ&p=http%3A%2F%2Fmittensmorgul.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F144556970475%2Fchuck-amuck&m=1) (one of my top five favorite cartoons of all time) By Chuck Jones (yes, Bugs was the artist in-world representation of a guy named Chuck) (also can’t help thinking of Fred Jones in 8.08 here, and “You’re so pretty, Charles,” since that episode was LITERALLY based around Looney Tunes):

 

In the end, the artist turns out to be Bugs Bunny, messing with Daffy even from OUTSIDE the medium where they both exist. It’s funny, but then you think about it in relation to Chuck’s writer persona that he’s created for himself in order to interact with his “creation,” with Sam and Dean and Cas as  _characters_  in his personal cartoon. But at the same time, it’s all still his creation, even if all the other characters don’t know it. They’re interacting with the creator who has the power to redraw their lives in the blink of an eye.

But Chuck never intended to stop any of it. He was just sitting back and watching the whole thing play out, right up to the Ending that Wasn’t. He had bigger plans in mind, and was just letting things unfold all through s6 right up to the present time when he’s finally decided to step in again. At least this time he’s taken off the Bugs Bunny mask and finally revealed himself.

This has been his show from day 1. He could’ve stopped it at any time, but  _he can’t_. He’s stuck playing out the endless cycle with Amara. Only something’s  _different_  this time around. This time,  _his characters aren’t entirely at his mercy_.

In Duck Amuck, Daffy never comes to understand the truth that the Artist tormenting him is also one of the other cartoon characters he interacts with all the time. Chuck’s characters now know the truth.They broke free for real this time, and might finally be able to take over writing their own story. True free will.

  

 

[spn 4.22](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-4.22) [spn 5.01](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-5.01) [spn 8.08](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-8.08) [spn 11.07](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-11.07) [spn 11.20](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-11.20) [spn 11.21](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-11.21) [spn s11 speculation](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-s11-speculation)[if you say 'mysterious ways' so help me i will kick your ass](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/if-you-say-%27mysterious-ways%27-so-help-me-i-will-kick-your-ass) [duck amuck or chuck amuck](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/duck-amuck-or-chuck-amuck)[sometimes i compare this show to einstein and sartre and sometimes it's all just looney tunes](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/sometimes-i-compare-this-show-to-einstein-and-sartre-and-sometimes-it%27s-all-just-looney-tunes)


	43. Chapter 43

[Sep 11, 2017](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/165239010600/id-make-predictions-for-the-season-finale)

4 notes

I’d make “predictions” for the season finale tonight, but I still stand by everything I’ve been predicting [since LAST MAY](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/144537719180/supernatural-the-darkness-god-death-lucifer).

So *stands back and just points at my entire blog* *well other than the stuff clearly tagged “crack” or whatever* *but no even some of that’s relevant probably*

<http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/144004554810/mittensmorgul-ive-been-rewatching-s10-this>

<http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/144609519920/grand-reunification-indeed>

<http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/144380034745/the-empty-and-amaras-offer>

<http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/144207609795/ive-read-comments-speculating-that-chuckgod>

<http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/Grand-Unification-Via-Love-Theory>

<http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/%2Amittens-attempts-to-become-one-with-the-universe-amid-the-sea-of-duality%2A>

(and yeah, I know there’s a lot of overlap between the posts in those two tags… but that’s kind of the point. This was the message of the entire season.)

You can’t outrun your past (but hey look, you can subvert it!)

(ETA on 9/11/17– i found this in my drafts and apparently never posted it? I wrote this up the day before 11.23 aired… so i guess have a bunch of ancient links to s11 stuff… ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯)

  

 

[spn s11 speculation](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-s11-speculation) [you can't outrun your past](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/you-can%27t-outrun-your-past) [Grand Unification via Love Theory](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/Grand-Unification-via-Love-Theory) [this season's getting handsy](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/this-season%27s-getting-handsy) [subversion and inversion](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/subversion-and-inversion) [*mittens attempts to become one with the universe amid the sea of duality*](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/%2Amittens-attempts-to-become-one-with-the-universe-amid-the-sea-of-duality%2A) [since it's all about the love and heartbreak... and love](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/since-it%27s-all-about-the-love-and-heartbreak...-and-love) [yep those tags are pretty much a tidy summary of exactly how i've read s11 all along](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/yep-those-tags-are-pretty-much-a-tidy-summary-of-exactly-how-i%27ve-read-s11-all-along) [oh and throw in DESTIEL POWER COUPLE for funsies too](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/oh-and-throw-in-DESTIEL-POWER-COUPLE-for-funsies-too) [better blogs and gardens](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/better-blogs-and-gardens)


	44. Chapter 44

#  [Schrodinger’s Ghoulpire](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/132341986710/schrodingers-ghoulpire)

[Nov 1, 2015](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/132341986710/schrodingers-ghoulpire)

30 notes

I was just thinking about the cure for the monster introduced in 11.04, and it reminded me of the first werewolf hunt we ever saw on Supernatural, way back in 2.17, Heart. Yes, the Nachzehrer is a monster we’ve never seen of nor heard mention of all these years, and clearly Sam and Dean were unfamiliar with it as well, since half the episode was spent trying to figure out what it was and how to kill it. But it was deliberately associated with both werewolves and vampires, and not only because Dean tried so hard to coin “werepire.”

I’ve been babbling on about how one of the show’s major themes since mid-S10 is about duality, and reconciling the halves of a whole and accepting both the good and dark as part of yourself. Really that theme began when Dean took on the Mark, but it really becomes obvious after 10.11, There’s No Place Like Home. And even the Nachzehrer fits into the way the narrative is involving and evolving the concept of duality.

On first describing the monster’s MO, Dean tells Sam it took the victim’s heart like a werewolf, as well as drained its blood like a vampire. Hence, the werepire. But the show itself has often used werewolf and vampire episodes as narrative mirrors for life and death. Werewolves have been tied to life and vitality, vampires to death and coldness.

Dean’s description eventually evolves from “werepire” to “ghoulpire” when Cas explains the monster may be a “whisper” which is similar to a ghoul. When they eventually figure out it is a Nachzehrer, Cas informs Dean that it is “both alive and dead,” which to me puts it squarely into the duality column on my scoresheet. I’m still annoyed that Dean never evolved his naming scheme to include “wereghoul,” because it would’ve been the most technically accurate of his portmanteaus. :P

(Patented Mittens Tangent: Dean kept trying to apply portmanteaus, which I see as a cute little wink to “ship names” in fandom, even though it’s a long-standing habit of Dean’s. Dean is into it, despite how the other characters from Benny to Sam have all rolled their eyes at this little habit. It still kills me that Dean didn’t hear Cas validating his portmanteau and actually saying “werepire.” The only time Dean’s ever been the one to roll his eyes was in 10.05  _when the portmanteau was applied to him and Cas_. Of course what is usually a happily indulgent habit of Dean’s hit a little too close to home, and the Big Manly Facade of Self Defense had to snap into place with a  _get in the car, Sammy_. I just find it amusing that other than that ONE instance, Dean’s the one who’s still gleefully smooshing names together. I see that fact, and can’t help but imagine that Dean is like us, he sees these connections and relationships in a way that Sam just doesn’t think about. He gets  _excited_  about them, just like we get excited thinking about  _DeanCas, CasDean, and Deastiel pffft._ )

Okay where was I… right. Werepires. So all this got me thinking back to Heart for some reason. First of all, Madison the werewolf was one of the first monsters they thought they might be able to save, rather than have to kill. There was a theory that killing her maker could potentially cure her. Sadly, That wasn’t the case. She asked Sam to kill her, rather than have to go through life as a werewolf, believing there was no other option. She didn’t want to live as a monster that uncontrollably hunted down and killed people to eat their hearts once a month.

Fast-forward a few seasons and we have episodes like 8.04, Bitten, which expands the werewolf lore a bit, and suggests that some werewolves can have enough control to only eat animal hearts. It’s expanded again in 9.12, Sharp Teeth, which shows that even though they are monsters, they can still live relatively normal lives for the most part. They can have family, faith, community, and control just like anyone else, if that’s what they choose. There might be no cure for a werewolf, but that doesn’t seem to affect their quality of life.

Vampires have always been portrayed as cold killers, the undead, even when the Alpha Vamp was helping them in s6 and s7. Yes, it was possible to cure a newly-turned vampire in some cases (including Dean’s in 6.05), but ONLY if they hadn’t already fed on human blood. It’s a small window in which humans could be “cured” and only worked if they hadn’t already given in to the monster.

Ghouls (which were in the end associated more with the Nachzehrer than vampires were), have only really had one episode on SPN, 4.19 Jump The Shark. They were portrayed as sort of the bottom feeders of the monster world, dead themselves in a way and preying largely on the dead. That’s probably why they’re not a huge problem for hunters, until one of them gets uppity about wanting a little fresh meat in its diet and crawls out of the graveyard to hunt down living victims instead (which was the case in 4.19, both John’s original case as well as the one that drew Dean and Sam back to finish the job).

The Nachzehrer straddled the line between life and death. Beheading would’ve worked to kill a ghoul, and silver bullets would’ve worked to kill a werewolf, but even the combination of the two traditional weapons didn’t work to kill the Nachzehrer, implying that  _the whole is greater than the sum of its parts_.

Another element had to be introduced that would nullify one of the Nachzehrer’s “halves” in order to be able to defeat the “whole.” In this case, the element was copper. There’s already really good meta floating around about how coins (places on the eyes of the dead at burial) were used to pay the Ferryman in Hades so the dead could cross the River Styx into the afterlife. Which fits nicely here. The coins Dean smashed into the nachzehrer’s face before beheading him weakened him enough to allow the beheading to work this time.

The most interesting bit for me, though, was that the people the nachzehrer turned, unlike the werewolves, ghouls, and vampires, were returned to normal, regained their humanity, were essentially “cured.” It was assumed that those humans had “given in to the monster” and fed on other humans while they’d been turned (at least the Sheriff’s wife did, when she killed her husband for not agreeing to join her and their children as nachzehrers himself). Unlike any other monster in the history of Supernatural, cutting off “the river’s source,” to borrow Metatron’s phrase, returned the humans to normal. (insert standard disclaimer about how those poor people will never actually be normal again after living through what they did, but at least they have a CHANCE to be relatively normal, and have a shot at life, at free will)

It makes me wonder if the endgame of this show isn’t pointing at the biggest duality we’ve ever been presented with: God vs The Darkness. The source of all the rivers. I’ve been thinking all along that there can’t really be a way to defeat the Darkness, and locking it back up will only serve to create the same problems we had before (i.e. someone with the Mark of Cain or an equivalent “curse” or “lock,”). The only way forward at this point is reunification with the whole, and cutting off that river at its source, and allowing all of humanity to be “cured.”

Yeah, that sort of went off the rails there at the end… sorry.

Why is it that every time I try to meta a specific topic, I end up 400 miles away from my original intended point, stranded on the side of the road with four flat tires and an overheating radiator? Someday I’ll hopefully get the hang of this. :P

  

 

[spn 2.17](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-2.17) [spn 4.19](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-4.19) [spn 6.05](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-6.05) [spn 8.04](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-8.04) [spn 9.12](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-9.12) [spn 10.05](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-10.05) [spn 10.11](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-10.11) [spn 11.04](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-11.04)[spn meta-ish](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-meta-ish) [monsterrrrrrrrsss](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/monsterrrrrrrrsss) [*mittens attempts to become one with the universe amid the sea of duality*](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/%2Amittens-attempts-to-become-one-with-the-universe-amid-the-sea-of-duality%2A)


	45. Chapter 45

[Sep 29, 2016](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/151113623225/treefrogie84-qareenamara-youre-a-mystery-i)

119 notes

[treefrogie84](http://treefrogie84.tumblr.com/post/151065182622):

> > Qareen!Amara: You’re a mystery. I can see inside your heart.  **Feel the love you feel. Except it’s cloaked in shame.**  When it comes to this, you can’t help yourself, so why fight it. Just give in. 
> 
> And doesn’t that just explain everything about Dean and Cas. 
> 
> *sigh* 
> 
> Everytime I think he’s getting beyond what John did to him… this happens.

So, the quareen can FEEL THE LOVE DEAN FEELS, knows it’s cloaked in shame…

So we know Dean is feeling love, cloaked in shame.

What the quareen never specifies, thouigh… the object of Dean’s shame-cloaked love.

She never says that AMARA is the object of that love.

And in CONTRAST to the shame-cloaked love, she presents THE IRRESISTIBLE DRAW OF DEAN’S DARKEST DESIRE which is the obliteration of himself so he doesn’t have to feel that shame-cloaked love anymore. Because it hurts.

I mean, that’s the title of the episode.

Love Hurts.

What Amara is offering Dean? Is the opposite of hurt. It’s bliss and oblivion and the end of himself. The Big Adios.

Just like the other “couples” who fell victim to the quareen in the episode, none of those relationships were about love. They were about control (the wife desperate to hold on to her cheating husband), and obsession (the husband having an affair with the babysitter).  Not love.

The quareen was NEVER about love. The fact that the witch had sold the first woman a “Love Spell” was a lie in every way. What she got wasn’t the love of her husband, but the quareen telling her what she would want to hear from her actual husband. Same with the quareen killing the babysitter… she thought he was giving her what  _she_  wanted, and then it gets weird when the supposedly-dead babysitter terrifies the heck out of the husband by giving him… not exactly what he  _wanted_  but  _the object of his obsession_. Same when he then shows up again– already known to be dead– to give his wife what  _she_  wanted, i.e. the object of  _her_  obsession. Not LOVE.

So this shameful love, which the quareen also referred to as “longing” while talking to Dean in Amara’s form just to add a bit of confusion into this mix,  _was not the feeling Dean had for the Real Amara, but part of this long-standing desire to experience feelings in new ways, maybe even for the first time_  that he’s been too ashamed/afraid to admit out loud since at least as far back as 10.16.

Accounting for Dean’s mountain of self-worth issues, his fears about what admitting his true feelings are to the object of his longing, etc. etc… (I mean I’ve got MILES of meta on Dean’s issues that are relevant to why he’d feel shame because of his love for an angel…), what the quareen is offering him IS NOT LOVE, but like the other cases above,  _she offers him the object of his obsession_.

Which he admits to Sam in the final scene IS an obsession. He wants with EVERY BONE IN HIS BODY to run her through, to kill her, because when he’s in her presence, he’s paralyzed by her influence over him, by her CONTROL over him. It’s so terrifying to him that killing her has become HIS obsession. His darkest desire, as it were.

And that is just not about love.

Because love hurts. And Amara? Is just emptiness.

  

 

[spn 11.13](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-11.13) [oh DEAN](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/oh-DEAN) [who is amara?](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/who-is-amara%3F) [here have my belated thoughts on the whole love... and love](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/here-have-my-belated-thoughts-on-the-whole-love...-and-love)


	46. Chapter 46

[Nov 17, 2015](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/133409134900/it-just-occurred-to-me-that-at-one-point-before)

15 notes

It just occurred to me that at one point before the season started (I believe it was at ComiCon, but I might be mistaken), Carver said there would be two episodes that worked as a sort of two-part storyline, with the boys remaining in the same place over the course of both episodes.

After 11.01 and 11.02, I assumed those were the two episodes he was referring to, since Sam stayed in the same town (inside the same building for most of the time) through both, even though Dean made a little side trip to drive Jenna and Amara to safety at her grandmother’s house.

After rewatching 11.05 and 11.06, though, I realized that both episodes take place in and around Fall River (only going about five miles away and across the Taunton River to Crowley’s headquarters near Swansea).

Sam and Dean had, according to their conversation at the beginning of 11.06, been searching for Amara around town for over a week, and all their leads were going cold. But finally learning the location of Crowley’s lair on Earth sort of explains why Amara might’ve sought out Lizzie Borden’s house in the first place.

Crowley had planned out her education to include all sorts of violence and evil, and any list of famous murderers is going to include Lizzie Borden. I can imagine Amara’s immediate fascination with her, if for nothing else but the implication that she got revenge for mistreatment suffered at the hands of unloving parents, and how she would sympathize with Lizzie for that alone. Learning she was staying within walking distance of the girl’s historical home would’ve proven too big a temptation to act on.

As far as we know up to this point, Amara can’t just pop in and out wherever she wishes. She still relies upon standard human transportation methods. She literally could walk from Crowley’s lair to Lizzie Borden’s house in a little over an hour.

And now that I’ve pointed all that out, I’m wondering how many other episodes this season will be presented in sets of two like both of these sets were? With the themes of duality and reuniting halves into the whole, I’m keeping my eyes open for any hint of things being paired together, up to and apparently including entire episodes. :P

I have no idea what any of this has to do with anything, but I felt a weird compulsion to point it out when I realized it.

  

 

[spn 11.05](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-11.05) [spn 11.06](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-11.06) [who is amara?](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/who-is-amara%3F) [spn 11.01](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-11.01) [spn 11.02](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-11.02) [*mittens attempts to become one with the universe amid the sea of duality*](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/%2Amittens-attempts-to-become-one-with-the-universe-amid-the-sea-of-duality%2A)


	47. Chapter 47

[Nov 17, 2015](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/133416888435/re-duality-post-and-11x023-and-56-being)

6 notes

**[elizabethrobertajones](https://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/) asked: Re: duality post and 11x02/3 and 5/6 being paired... But can you find a way to make The Bad Seed and Baby into a pair??**

I’ve been trying, but the only common bond I can find between them are the notions of home and family. But those seem to be too broad to specifically apply to just these two episodes in order to tie them together.

The two conversations in the Impala in 11.4 about “finding something, with someone” (i.e. building a family), as well as Dean saying “Let’s go home,” (to the bunker) followed by Sam stating, “We are home,” (as in, Baby is their true home) at the end, could be tying in with “bringing Cas home,” and treating him like a member of the family by caring for him and helping him recover.

The majority of 11.03 took place in the bunker, while 11.04 was filmed entirely from the pov of Baby. Between Sam and Dean, those two locations complete their individual definitions of “home.” So yeah, to be really vague and broad about it, I guess they could be said to be companions in that sense.

Now I want to go back and look for other connections between those two episodes, and see if we’re really getting matched pairs. This theory is also adding to my trepidation about 11.09, if it’s intended to be similarly paired with 11.10, since there will be a month or so mini-Hellatus in between them, and we know we’re getting the scoop on who’s rattling the Cage in that episode. D:

  

 

[spn s11 speculation](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-s11-speculation) [matched pairs](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/matched-pairs) [*mittens attempts to become one with the universe amid the sea of duality*](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/%2Amittens-attempts-to-become-one-with-the-universe-amid-the-sea-of-duality%2A) [elizabethrobertajones](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/elizabethrobertajones)


	48. Chapter 48

#  [Little commentary on the first scene of 11x07 Plush](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/133667328065/little-commentary-on-the-first-scene-of-11x07)

[Nov 21, 2015](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/133667328065/little-commentary-on-the-first-scene-of-11x07)

29 notes

[postmodernmulticoloredcloak](http://postmodernmulticoloredcloak.tumblr.com/post/133649234907):

> Man on TV: This is their second drive in overtime, with both teams having possessed the ball. The next score wins.
> 
> _This is their second round at the Apocalypse, this time in the era after the Kripke one._
> 
> _Both teams have had sexual relations with Dean Winchester._
> 
> _The next person that will get Dean’s heart will win him. There will be Amara trying to get Dean, but the person that will “score” is Cas, clearly. Also see the double meaning of score *sly face*._
> 
> Man: Every play becomes…
> 
> _What’s the endgame?_
> 
> Oh!
> 
> [ Sighs ]
> 
> _We aren’t going to get the endgame any soon. (well, it’s called endgame for a reason.)_
> 
> Man: 1st and 10 from the 32-yard line. 8:21 in O.T…
> 
> _I don’t know how this game works lol so I don’t know if there’s some specific meaning to this line. What I know is that 1 - 10 - 3 - 2: either 1x10 Asylum and 3x02 The Kids Are Alright, or 1x03 Dead In Water and 10x02 Reichenbach. In the first case, we’re talking about an episode where Dean and Sam aren’t “alright”, they are not in a good moment of their relationship, and well, literally an episode called “the kids aren’t alright’, aka Dean and Sam have something wrong with them right now. In the second case, we have two episodes dealing with death, water (sea/ocean symbology?) and falling (or better, jumping yourself) and corruption of soul._
> 
> _8x21 is The Great Escapist. Dean is escaping, he’s playing dead like a possum, he’s telling Sam to just ignore the visions and do nothing, he’s the one fear makes do nothing. But it’s over the time to do nothing, it’s too late, they’re in too deep. (“What do you wanna do? Sit back? Ignore him? Do nothing?” “No, that’s — that’s not what I’m saying.” aka yes, that’s what he’s saying…)_
> 
> Stan! Can you take out the trash?
> 
> _Winchester brothers! Can you take the toxic elements out of your relationship and your lives?_
> 
> [ Sighs ]
> 
> He is running left. Ohh! He gets…
> 
> _Dean is running to the devil’s side, aka the gay side! Ohh! He gets [angel cake *cough*]_
> 
> Stinks to high heaven.
> 
> _Speaking of angel cake, he’s not really an angel anymore, because he doesn’t belong to heaven. Heaven stinks._
> 
> [ Lowered voice ] It’s your cooking that stinks.
> 
> _No Castiel, it’s your Dean Winchester that is just a mud monkey._
> 
> [ Dish thuds ] What was that, honey?
> 
> _What did you say about Dean? *goes in ‘flower meme’ mode*_
> 
> Nothing, dear.
> 
> _Ehm, nothing, nothing, Castiel. *sweats nervously*_
> 
> 2nd and…
> 
> _Who’s on second? What is second?_
> 
> The game’s in O.T., can’t it wait?
> 
> _We’re already in season 11, but the endgame still isn’t close. We’re getting at least a season 12 I guess._
> 
> …backs him into center, slowly defends…
> 
> _Dean is backing to the center, he tries to defend himself, but the “defensive center” is the clear area at the center of the smoke._
> 
> [ Speaks indistinctly ] [ Sighs ] [ Grunting ] [ Crowd cheering ] [ Groans ] [ Men speaking indistinctly ] [ Door creaks ] [ Men continue speaking indistinctly ] [ Door creaks ] [ Rattling and clinking ] [ Lid bangs ] [ Dog barking in distance ] [ Rattling and clinking ] [ Door creaks open ]
> 
> Hey, hon, bring me another brewski.
> 
> _Rude. Cas goes getting the brewskis himself._
> 
> [ Door closes ] [ Refrigerator door opens, bottles clink ] [ Refrigerator door closes ]
> 
> He’s flushed out of the pocket.
> 
> _I don’t know what this means lol. Is it something about getting sent out from the field or something? Is it Cas, that is now currently away from the bunker, or Dean, who’s “flushing” himself out of the battlefield?_
> 
> Hey, thanks, babe.
> 
> _Who brings you a brewski is you babe._
> 
> He’s got a man open…
> 
> _Cas has made Dean open up. It’s also a pun about stabbing the guy, I know, which is also a pun for 〜stabbing a guy〜… I mean, I guess “get a man open” has different meanings…)_
> 
> [ Gasps ]
> 
> Throws… And it’s caught by… [ Cheering, whistle blows ]
> 
> _Dean throws himself to damnation, but he gets caught by Cas — every time._
> 
> [ Glass shatters ]
> 
> Uhh! Don’t need possum traps, huh?
> 
> _The possum is Dean, and apparently someone believes there’s no need to trap him, although the lady thinks so. The lady is Dean here I guess, the one that takes out the trash, albeit reluctantly, but who doesn’t trust himself and prefers to “do nothing”, keep himself in check, “trap” himself in a corner. Or the lady is Sam, trying to take out the trash, but who deep down doesn’t trust Dean, thinks he should be kept in check, or will think Dean should be kept in check after he finds out about his “bond” with Amara._
> 
> [ Lid bangs, glass clinks ] [ Screaming ] [ Squishing ] [ Groaning ] [ Screams ]

Interesting, because I couldn’t make out the football announcer’s voice (and I went back and listened again while reading this post, and what I could hear seems to match up, but full disclosure, I have a hard time hearing over the parabolic microphone crowd noise in regular football broadcasts due to specific range hearing loss… so I’m just going to assume the dialogue is accurate as transcribed above).

I’m not going to argue with the subtext above, just add in what little football knowledge I have. :D

First off, I assume the guy is a Vikings fan, and that’s the game he’s watching. It’s never made clear who the opponent team is (which I find interesting, because we still aren’t clear who or what the boys are actually fighting. Amara? The Darkness as a whole? Who or what is Amara, and how does she fit in to the Darkness? What are her motives and intentions? How does Dean’s “bond” with her work, and what are her plans for him? Is he entirely acting on his own, or is she exerting some kind of control over him? Lots of unanswered questions.)

Re: The 1st and 10 from the 32 yard line, 8:21 in OT: First off, overtime in the NFL is “sudden death,” meaning the first team to score wins. The clock counts down from 15 minutes, so with 8:21 remaining, they’re approaching the halfway point of the allotted overtime period. The announcer said that each team has already had the ball once, and now the first team has regained possession and is making a drive for the end zone.

I find it interesting that from Stan’s reactions, it’s not clear if his team has the ball and he’s cheering for them to get the touchdown now, or if his team is on defense and he’s hoping the team with the ball doesn’t score. He’s so wrapped up in the game and the tension, either scenario seems plausible.

First and 10: American football is played in “downs.” Each team has four chances to advance the ball ten yards before they lose their turn and have to turn the ball over to the other team. If they succeed in advancing at least 10 yards, the counter resets from the point the ball was last “downed,” (i.e. the player was tackled or ran out of bounds or tripped and fell on his face or whatever– it’s where the ball was when the previous play ended). It can happen on first, second, third, or fourth down, as long as the ball advances more than 10 yards forward from that initial point on the field within four plays.

It’s also not made clear WHICH 32 yard line they’re beginning at. The field is divided into halves, with the 50 yard line at the center. If the team has the ball at their OWN 32 yard line, they’ve got quite a ways to go (68 yards) to score a touchdown and win the game. If they’re on their OPPONENT’s 32 yard line, they’re technically in range for a field goal, and might just be making the drive, using their “downs” to bring the ball even closer, biding time until their 4th down would bring out their kicker to go for the 3 point attempt. It’s only worth half the points of a touchdown, but ANY points in overtime would win the game for them.

Clearly the first play was successful to some extent, because the original team retained the ball. They didn’t lose possession, because they continue to 2nd down. It’s not clear if they gained or lost yards on the play, because we aren’t updated as to their progress. The announcer didn’t say, 2nd and _____ (with an update on the number of yards left to achieve another first down). We don’t know of we’re making progress, losing ground, or standing still.

The announcer says the quarterback was “flushed out of the pocket,” meaning the area of safety for him to throw or pass the ball in order to complete the play. “The pocket” is the area around the quarterback that’s defended by the linesmen from the opposing team’s players who are trying to prevent him from successfully completing the play. If the quarterback is flushed out of the pocket, it means that area of safety has been compromised. His defenders have failed to keep the enemy from encroaching, and he either has to quickly make a play (often resulting in a rushed and unsuccessful pass), risk being “sacked” (or tackled to the ground, ending the play, often with a loss of forward yardage, putting the team at an even worse position where you end up needing to cover more than 10 yards in even fewer plays or risk losing the ball). Sometimes when a QB is sacked, he even loses possession of the ball, and it can be recovered by the opposing team.

In this case, the QB is flushed out of the pocket, meaning he’s intentionally left the zone between the players assigned to defend him. He’s stepped out into the open in hopes of buying himself a little more time for one of his players to break their own coverage and move into a place where they will be able to catch the ball once he throws it. The announcer says he completes the throw, but it’s never clear who caught it, nor how the play ended. All we know is that the crowd was happy, and the whistle blew.

Since we don’t know which team was in possession at the time, nor what city they were playing in (if the home team was the Vikings and the crowd cheered, Stan would be happy too, theoretically, but it’s never clarified), we can’t know for sure, though. The ball could’ve been intercepted by the other team. It could’ve been caught by the player the QB had been intending to catch it for a yardage gain, or possibly even a first down. That would’ve reset their counter, giving them a fresh four chances at scoring a touchdown, starting at least 10 yards closer to the goal line. The only thing I’m pretty sure DIDN’T happen was that the play resulted in a touchdown. Because when a team scores a touchdown, the announcers tend to yell that out right around the moment the whistle blows ending the play. So we can assume there’s still more ground to cover no matter how that play ended. The game’s still going on.

A metaphorical recap (which also serves as a tl/dr):

  * We don’t know the opponent
  * We don’t know if the home team is in possession of the ball or if they’re currently playing defense
  * We don’t know where exactly on the field we are
  * Which means we also don’t know how far we have yet to go before they score
  * We don’t know which team currently has the ball, if it’s our heroes or our opponents
  * We’re approaching the halfway point of the overtime round
  * Based on the time of year the episode is set, I’m assuming it’s the regular football season and not the playoffs, in which case they’re only given a single 15 minute overtime period in which to attempt to score, otherwise the game will end in a tie (in the playoffs, they keep playing until there’s a winner, starting the clock again in 15 minute periods)
  * The offense has made at least one play with an indeterminate amount of success
  * Their second play was pressured, and their quarterback was forced outside their defended territory and rushed to complete his pass
  * We don’t know who caught the ball or how far they got with it. It could’ve been caught by the home team or intercepted by the opponent.
  * If it was caught by the home team, we don’t know if they managed to gain enough yards for another first down or just managed to save the ball from being intercepted, bringing on 3rd down (in which case we also don’t know how many yards remain for them to achieve either another first down or a potential touchdown score).



I’m particularly curious about the quarterback being flushed out of the pocket. It could refer to Amara being off on her own now that she’s voluntarily left Crowley’s care, or even that her experiences are pressuring her to deviate from the mission she discussed in the mirror conversation with the Woman in the eye of the Darkness storm from 11.01.

BUT it could also refer to Dean being flushed out of his own comfort zone because of his inability to act in her presence. OR Sam running outside the defensive circle and putting himself into a dangerous situation with regard to the Cage visions. OR to Cas being pressured out of his heavenly family and forced to make a play on his own.

Hooboy, there’s a lot going on in that little football recap that I never even realized until I saw it spelled out there. LOADS of sports metaphors. Football is the perfect metaphor for battle. Now I’m waiting for the baseball metaphors to start rolling out (because we all know what baseball metaphors usually refer to… home runs *wink wink nudge nudge*) :D

  

 

[spn 11.07](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-11.07) [spn meta](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-meta) [seriously though the whole flushed out of the pocket thing is probably the scariest foreshadowing bit in the whole scene](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/seriously-though-the-whole-flushed-out-of-the-pocket-thing-is-probably-the-scariest-foreshadowing-bit-in-the-whole-scene) [and it gave me the whole 'we're in a tight spot!' feelings](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/and-it-gave-me-the-whole-%27we%27re-in-a-tight-spot%21%27-feelings) [but this whole scene illustrates just how 'in the dark' we are about everything that's happening right now](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/but-this-whole-scene-illustrates-just-how-%27in-the-dark%27-we-are-about-everything-that%27s-happening-right-now) [who is amara?](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/who-is-amara%3F) [the woman in the eye of the storm](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/the-woman-in-the-eye-of-the-storm) [oh DEAN](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/oh-DEAN) [castiel winchester](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/castiel-winchester) [a character study in Sam Winchester](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/a-character-study-in-Sam-Winchester) [spn s11 speculation](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-s11-speculation) [*mittens attempts to become one with the universe amid the sea of duality*](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/%2Amittens-attempts-to-become-one-with-the-universe-amid-the-sea-of-duality%2A)


	49. Chapter 49

[Apr 21, 2016](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/143178246175/i-wonder-if-its-gonna-be-god-or-dean-that-helps)

34 notes

**Anonymous asked: I wonder if it's gonna be god or dean that helps cas snap out of it? Cause they showed dean not being able to get through to him, but I still don't know that that was his "real" attempt. And they've made a big deal out of pointing out that a big part of cas's insecurities revolve around Sam and dean, so you'd think they'd be directly involved. Then again, if god is coming back, well that would mean a lot to cas too. So idk.**

[ludditeheart](http://ludditeheart.tumblr.com/post/143168764584/i-wonder-if-its-gonna-be-god-or-dean-that-helps):

> [mittensmorgul](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/143167470955/i-wonder-if-its-gonna-be-god-or-dean-that-helps):
>
>> Hi there! I assume you mean the attempt with the spell in 11.18 here? Yeah, I was disappointed Dean’s blood only bought them a few seconds of time to talk with Cas, but I think there’s a few reasons for that.
>> 
>> I think this was supposed to be the same kind of spell Dean tried to use to break through Gadreel’s control over Sam in 9.09, if not exactly the same spell. Kevin had warned him back then that he might only have a minute or two to get through to Sam back then (and then Gadreel ‘altered the sigil’ anyway, making it fail entirely).
>> 
>> We’ve also had a very recent example of the difference in power level between a seraph and an archangel, making a huge plot point of the spell designed to break through the warding on the submarine in 11.14. I mean, they kind of made a HUGE deal about the kind of power boost Cas would need in order to work that spell, as opposed to Lucifer just casually mixing the ingredients and zapping through it. *insert Sam’s soul-touching that gave Cas the power to break Lucifer’s control enough to save Sam*
>> 
>> We also know, and have been recently reminded, that human souls are insanely powerful resources (via the weird soul-monitor-scanner thing that one angel was using in heaven before he got poofed by Lucifer in 11.18, just in case the Sam-Soul-Touching in 11.14 wasn’t illustration enough of that point).
>> 
>> So remembering all of that, the blood sigil to talk with the angel-possessed vessel owner was almost destined to fail. It’s not a failing on Dean’s part, so much as a failing of the approach.
>> 
>> *quietly muses for a few minutes over the s9 ongoing theme of  _using the wrong tool for the job_  *
>> 
>> They were also relying on Crowley and Rowena’s magic to contain Lucifer long enough to work the spell in the first place, and while I think they both will also play some part in the end (via their own ongoing personal issues with Luci, which have been paralleled to Dean and Cas’s issues with Luci). But yeah, I think this time they just need more juice.
>> 
>> In 11.14, Lucifer admitted that defeating Amara had been more of a “team effort,” and in the same way, I think ousting Lucifer from Cas is going to require the same kind of team effort. But instead of sending Crowley in as the messenger, I really do think it will need to be  _Dean_  who does the talking.
>> 
>> I’m still of the belief that if Cas were to meet God face to face after everything God’s put him through (season 5 anyone? 6.20? all the fallout from all of that?) that Cas would be too outraged to really listen. It might take a god-level power boost to open the communication channels, but Cas did this for Dean in the first place. I think only Dean telling him they just need Cas back can get him to really fight.
>> 
>> Ooh, and one more point, as I’m tagging this and belatedly remembered: 11.17 (which strongly recalled the message of 10.17, but in sort of an inverse way) reminded us that any single person’s sacrifice on its own is pointless and wasted. Viewed in that light, the entirety of 11.17 seems designed as a very specific object lesson for Sam and Dean. It’s incredibly encouraging to me, as it was a really strong reminder that the self-sacrifice deal the Winchesters have always used as a bargaining chip has lost all value as a currency. They can’t just swap each other out (and I think this goes for all our members and auxiliary members of TFW, including Crowley and Rowena now). They must truly work together as a team, even if Dean is the one who will eventually have to stand up and act as the team captain, so to speak.
>> 
>> Gosh, I know “team” is a pretty generic sporting term, but it does apply to baseball, so throwing that in here too. It takes 9 players to field a team in baseball, after all. Maybe we’re still collecting players…
>> 
>> Rah rah go team and all that. :D
> 
> I love the idea of a Team Effort to oust Lucifer from Cas, but I think God/Chuck will be able to “reset” His Angels with little effort.  Cas (and all the Angels) are hundred of millions of years old; they’ve been serving the Mission for a very, very long time.  The Sam and Dean Drama (as important as it is!)  is not even an eye-blink for these wavelength Entities.  I think it would be a relief for Cas, who has been through so much recently, to “let go and let God” so to speak.  It’s one thing for him to wave the Free Will flag and give the finger to Zachariah and Michael, but quite another thing to face down the Creator. My question is, how far will God/Chuck push the situation?  He obviously approves of the Angels thinking for themselves (see: every Cas resurrection), he won’t want to break their spirit!   

Yeah, God has brought Cas back over and over again, but he’s never interfered any more than that. I’m still working from the point of view (which I probably should’ve clarified above) that  _because_  we have free will, God’s hands are sort of tied. The very fact of his meddling with creation at all is by its very nature an invalidation of our free will. But I’ve been looking at the show and its internal theology through that lens.

What Amara has proposed, a universe where everyone is blissful and nothing hurts, can only achieve that if everyone’s free will is stripped away. It all goes back to the “peace or freedom” line. By definition, you can’t have both. There has to be compromise.

So yeah, while God could theoretically step in and shut the whole thing down, he’d be doing exactly what Amara wants, in a roundabout sort of way. I sincerely  _hope_  that’s what the return of Chuck will mean. Obviously he’s not coming back in 11.20 only to snap his fingers and “fix” everything. There’s still work to be done.

I mean, he may be able to provide the power boost necessary to put Lucifer back where he belongs, and he may be able to “reason” with Castiel and validate him and his choices and actions (and yeah I’d LOVE for that to happen), but I think that he abandoned the majority of his own ability to interfere with creation with the very “rules” he created to operate under.

  

 

[spn s11 speculation](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-s11-speculation) [chuck help us all](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/chuck-help-us-all) [if you say 'mysterious ways' so help me i will kick your ass](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/if-you-say-%27mysterious-ways%27-so-help-me-i-will-kick-your-ass) [*mittens attempts to become one with the universe amid the sea of duality*](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/%2Amittens-attempts-to-become-one-with-the-universe-amid-the-sea-of-duality%2A)


	50. Chapter 50

[May 12, 2016](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/144266473675/i-still-dont-get-the-whole-dean-amara-thing)

10 notes

**[caeillian](https://caeillian.tumblr.com/) asked: I still don't get the whole Dean-Amara thing, though. I mean, why is she so fixated on him? Right now it seems she's just grateful for freeing her and that she has the hots for him. I really hope there's more to it, and we're gonna learn that in the next two episodes. And second, why does she just not take what she wants? She certainly would have the power to do so. And it's not like she's really that into the whole consent issue, since all she's been doing until now is groping Dean. Ideas? :)**

Hi there! And first of all, I’m not sure Amara  _does_  have the power to take Dean’s soul. The same way he was unable to act directly against her, I think she’s unable to act directly against him.

The best explanation for it that I have is that She is The Original Mark. Dean bore the Mark. He was her doorway out of her cage. They really are “bound” like she said. Dean also came to that realization, that Sam might have to be the one to face her, because he’s not sure he  _can_. Not just because of her “control” over him, but for ~mysterious metaphysical reasons~ that they do have this connection.

I think it’s for a similar reason to why Chuck’s being so cagey about his claims that Amara is “blocking” him from finding her. And Amara’s claims that she senses God’s returned to earth but that she can’t contact him directly. If they’re polar opposites who naturally repel each other (in this same way that Dean seems to have a mysterious connection with both of them, via his thing with Amara AND the fact that Chuck is basically  _acting like Dean)._

Chuck said Dean’s a kind of firewall between him and Amara. They don’t need to fight each other, they need to find balance, and right now they’re setting up Dean himself as the tipping point.

  

 

[spn 11.21](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-11.21) [spn s11 speculation](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-s11-speculation) [*mittens attempts to become one with the universe amid the sea of duality*](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/%2Amittens-attempts-to-become-one-with-the-universe-amid-the-sea-of-duality%2A) [caeillian](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/caeillian)


	51. Chapter 51

#  [The Empty and Amara’s Offer](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/144380034745/the-empty-and-amaras-offer)

[May 14, 2016](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/144380034745/the-empty-and-amaras-offer)

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Three times now Dean and Sam have been warned by Billie the Reaper that their next “death” is going to be permanent. She’s going to see to it personally that they get a one-way ticket to “The Empty.”

After hearing Amara describe what becoming “one” with her would entail, and having that feeling described as far back as 11.01 by Dean as “peaceful,” and in 11.05 as “ecstasy, orgasm, chocolate cake” by Sydney after she got a small taste of it, I’ve been wondering if The Empty is exactly what she’s offering.

Just like Death himself once gave Dean the unhelpfully vague hint about Castiel, telling Dean it’s all about “the souls” (but really giving him nothing else to work with until it was entirely too late to do anything about it), I’m wondering if Billie suffers from a similar sort of limitation that Death did in his ability to deliver A Helpful Clue. Reapers are apparently built in a similar mold as Death (once called “Big Daddy Reaper” in canon). It’s only fair they’re bound by similar restrictions, even when they’re actively  _trying_  to be helpful. I often find myself wondering if fairy lore is responsible for some of these weird rules around supernatural beings, because fairy lore is  _rife_  with them.

And come on, Billie was even singing O, Death the first time we met her. REMIND YOU OF ANYONE?

I’ve written a bit on Dean’s last encounter with Billie, because despite the fact she said she was there to reap him, she actually made no move to do it. It struck me as odd at the time, sort of like the end of 6.11 where Death fulfilled his bargain with Dean despite Dean technically failing his test. Dean did prove he learned the lesson he’d set out to teach him, and that was what Death actually wanted out of the deal anyway. I saw Billie’s actions in 11.17 in a similar light. 

Anyway, after seeing the latest iteration of Amara’s offer, for Dean to give up his smallness and become boundless within her, I can’t shake the feeling that THIS is actually what Billie’s warning them about. Billie keeps saying it doesn’t matter one way or the other to her, whether the Darkness takes over and devours all of creation. She’s just doing her job. But is she, really?

How long did Sam stay dead on that floor in 11.17 before Dean flipped and reached out to contact Billie? Hours? At least half a day. Yet no reaper went near him in all that time, because Sam didn’t need this particular lesson. This was Dean’s lesson to learn. He NEEDED to understand exactly what there is to fear from this final “adios,” and that his life means so much more than that. His death is pointless, just as Dean said the same thing to Chuck.

What happens if Chuck voluntarily gives himself up to her? Dean called him out on that plan, proving Dean had learned that lesson for himself.

Chuck and Amara have been involved in this game of create/destroy for so long now though that it’s literally what they are. They are Creation and Destruction. It’s not something they do, they don’t choose to do these things, it’s what they ARE. And therein lies the difference.

Chuck creates, Amara destroys. There needs to be balance, and that can’t be achieved by one of them removing the other from the equation.

But at the same time. if Chuck really does give himself over to her, it would only be completing their eternal cycle, and yeah, Amara’s right, Chuck can’t stop her, because she is inevitable, eventually. Everything will eventually return to the void, only for the cycle to begin again with Chuck creating a new universe. It’s how it goes.

But if they can achieve balance instead of complete destruction, maybe we can keep this universe for a while longer.

And maybe that’s what Billie’s warning has been about this entire time.

  

 

[spn s11 speculation](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-s11-speculation) [Billie the reaper](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/Billie-the-reaper) [*mittens attempts to become one with the universe amid the sea of duality*](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/%2Amittens-attempts-to-become-one-with-the-universe-amid-the-sea-of-duality%2A)


	52. Chapter 52

From this post, dated May 19, 2016: http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/144614208220/ludditeheart-elizabethrobertajones

 

Since we’ve been given basically NOTHING in the promo other than the “soul bomb” idea, I’m applying my usual Promo Skepticism Goggles to this information. If the soul bomb is ACTUALLY their only play in the season finale, they wouldn’t have revealed it in the promo.

PR is intentionally misleading. They’re never gonna give us the ACTUAL resolution in a promo. Which leads me to believe that the entire soul bomb plan is an epic misdirect.

I think Dean, in going in as weapon, is actually fulfilling his destiny to be the bait for the REAL kicker.

To use a baseball metaphor, as the show is wont to do, he’s going up to the plate to make a sac bunt in the bottom of the ninth so god can steal home.

To use a bowling metaphor, as the show is also wont to do, Dean’s setting up the pins so god can roll the ball.

Dean’s been set up as the pivot point holding Chuck and Amara apart, and in the finale, I hope he’s able to swing them around and finally get out from in between them. Let them both crash into each other and end this game once and for all.

They’ve both latched on to Dean as this ideal of humanity, and that has MADE Dean into the coin they each represent one side of. But like it should never have been Lucifer’s job to hold the Darkness at bay, it should never have been Dean’s job to be that coin, either.

If this entire season hasn’t been running back to this point in order for them to fix this fundamental flaw in the nature of creation, than what even was the point?

  

 

[spn s11 speculation](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-s11-speculation) [spn 11.23](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-11.23) [spn 11.23 speculation](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn-11.23-speculation) [oh DEAN](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/oh-DEAN) [*mittens attempts to become one with the universe amid the sea of duality*](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/%2Amittens-attempts-to-become-one-with-the-universe-amid-the-sea-of-duality%2A)


End file.
